China Children's Center and Social Science Literature 20 19 jointly released the report "China Children's Development Report (2065438+09)-Children's Living Conditions Outside School", which shows that most children in China spend their off-campus time on homework, and nearly 80% of primary and secondary school students can't sleep up to the normal standard.
Is this full after-school arrangement really good for children? G: You don't have to fill your child's childhood with learning.
When we are with our mother, we always like to talk about short topics from our parents. A few days ago, a mother occasionally mentioned the problem of cram school. Lao Li complained that his daughter-in-law had enrolled her first-grade daughter in four interest classes: math, English, piano and dance, and wanted to train her children into artists.
Lao Wang also said that his son is only a few months old, and his daughter-in-law has spent tens of thousands on early education classes for his children. Everyone said one by one, and I couldn't help sighing that I was happier when I was a child.
But this race against time, taking up all children's rest and entertainment time, can really cultivate a genius?
We all know Gao, a knowledgeable scholar, from Biography of Qi Afraid to Romance of Song Dynasty. He advocates "muddling through" the education of his daughter. From Gao's mouth, we can hear that he hopes his children can face everything with a positive, free and relaxed attitude.
In fact, parents can learn from Xiao Song's optimistic parenting style, abandon the practice of leaving extracurricular life in cram schools, spend some energy to cultivate children's creativity and sense of responsibility, better release their nature and enhance their happiness.
Childhood should be like childhood.
When your talent can't support your dreams, the book says: How happy parents are to give their children a carefree childhood!
1、? Give children appropriate freedom and let them become themselves.
Everyone has a "self", which we have been looking for all our lives. If we want our children to find themselves, we must give them appropriate freedom. For example, exploring freedom for children. When they want to carve their dream castle with sand, let them go and even play with them. Don't tell them, "The sand is too dirty to touch. You have touched bugs."
When a child wants to climb a tree, let him go when it is safe. Don't tell him that climbing a tree is dangerous. Let them do what they want to explore spontaneously, don't always deny them, and give them appropriate freedom to explore;
Another example is the freedom to take risks for children. Most things or tools are risky, especially knives. Never forbid children to use knives just because they will bleed. What we have to do is to teach them to use knives correctly and let them try risks, so that children will have the opportunity to accumulate life experience. They are not so fragile, and fearless is the nature of children.
2、? Accompany children to travel, consolidate family ties and broaden their horizons.
Nature has magical power, which can relieve people's pressure and open people's minds. And the companionship of time can promote the affection between parents and children. Just like Gao, I accompany my daughter to talk about ideals, play games and do interesting things together. Although these are useless to others, their father and daughter enjoy it. He believes that growing up with children is very happy, and it is rare to witness some of their moments.
After eating, drinking and having fun in a strange place, we tend to love our present life more. Gao and his wife often show their daughters around the world instead of locking them at a desk. Tourism is not a luxury. Ordinary families can take time to take their children outside to play, which can not only relieve the pressure of study, but also broaden their horizons.
3、? There is no relatively independent space to protect children.
What parents can accompany their children is only a journey of life, and parents have no right to completely direct their children's lives. As parents, we should play a more guiding role and give children the space to choose independently. Although sometimes we know that they will get hurt, it is also part of growing up. Many parents often say, "We are doing this for your own good. Don't confuse good with bad. " It sounds more like a heavy shackle. In the long run, children will lose their opinions, and too much suppression of their personality will become a hidden danger of parent-child relationship in the future.
4. Rules and habits that constrain children.
Parents should give their children appropriate freedom, but not too much. The role of tour guides is to help them when they do something wrong, so appropriate rules are necessary. Cultivate children's habits, such as when to sleep, when to eat, dress and wash your face, don't leave leftovers, and formulate appropriate rules, similar to not eating or eating snacks after meals; No sleep at night, no sleep during the day, let them realize the right time to do the right thing.
In addition, in terms of communication with others, parents should promptly correct their children's injuries to others, and should not let their children do anything casually. They should respect others and respect the elderly and love the young. These basic moral habits should also be controlled by parents, and freedom has a certain scope.
As the guardians of the motherland's flowers, parents should care for their children's happy childhood. Don't let them soak in interest classes and after-school exercises for a long time, give them a chance to embrace freedom and release their nature. Mr. Rousseau once wrote in his book: "Love children, help them play games, make them happy and cultivate their lovely instinct." I believe that everyone will miss that romantic and naive childhood, follow the law of natural growth, and give appropriate guidance, which will inevitably lead to sunshine and thrive.
In the early morning, my mother came to talk: a second-born mother who started writing in the early morning, I wrote my heart by hand, and everything was my parenting experience with my children. I hope my parenting experience can bring you some help.
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