When I was a child, my teacher told me that everyone has a diligent villain and a lazy villain. You hesitate, they fight. Diligent villains often beat lazy villains out of the water in primary school, tied in junior high school, and lazy villains often win in high school. But when I got to the university, I suddenly found that they stopped playing, and the damn diligent little man was killed.
3. Lovers will eventually become house slaves, and those who have houses will eventually become families.
There is a very tall coconut tree. There are four kinds of animals, orangutans, apes, monkeys and king kong. Who do you think will pick bananas first? Test your character.
Every day, I will draw a circle on the calendar. It was not until Sunday that I discovered that my life was an ellipsis.
6, Christmas, every blue child who is not accompanied by an aluminum child can only tighten his collar at the corner in the cold wind, and hear the sad reminder in the wind that really resounds through the city ... "Single boy! -single boy! -single all the way! ——"
7. Who does McDull secretly love? Answer: robot cat. Because "McDull advertising song"
8. My brother went to a primary school to play basketball and heard a junior girl ask a junior boy, "Do you love me or not?" The boy said helplessly, "My mother gives me money from 3 yuan every day, of which 2.5 yuan is for you to buy snacks.". Do you think I love you or not?
9. A sculpture was completed in the new building of a university: a girl held a book in her left hand and a dove symbolizing peace in her right hand. Outside the school, students were publicly named, and as a result, many people's slogans coincided-reading is the best use!
10, North Korea: ... Brother, I want to fight South Korea! China: Automatic reply! North Korea: Brother … Then you must help me! China: Automatic reply! North Korea: Brother ... Then I'll go! China: Automatic reply! China: Shit, I just went to the bathroom. What did you say? Are you crazy? North Korea: automatically reply hello, I'm not here now, I'll contact you later.
1 1, female: I want to find a boyfriend. M: Let me help you. "There is a good one in our dormitory." . Woman: Aren't you distressed that I am with him? . Man: Think too much? Don't worry, I have nothing to do with him.
12, there is a chance to add clothes before me. I don't cherish it until I catch a cold. If God gives me another chance to start over, I will not hesitate to add all my clothes.
13, Xiaoming asked his father to tell him a story. Dad said do you want to listen to the long one or the short one? Xiaoming: Dragon! Dad: Once upon a time, there was a fly that buzzed, buzzed, buzzed, buzzed, buzzed … Xiaoming: Dad, you'd better make a long story short! Dad: Once upon a time, there was a fly, hum, bang!
14, KINOMOTO SAKURA said to Xiao Qiang, "I kicked you in the exam today, so you have to give me a hard look." During the exam, KINOMOTO SAKURA kicked Xiao Qiang, and Xiao Qiang replied: Meow. ...
15. once upon a time, there was a cucumber She thinks there are too many pimples on her face, so she slices her face?
16. Three men went to the woman to propose marriage. Parents: Tell me about their respective situations. A: I have 6.5438+million; B: I have a mansion worth 20 million; The woman's parents are very satisfied and ask C, what do you have at home? C: I have nothing except one child. Now the baby is in your daughter's belly. A and B were speechless and left. This case tells us a simple truth, the core competitiveness is not money and houses, but in key positions, we must have our own people.
17, a child asked a rich man: Sir, why are you so rich? The rich man said: I had nothing like you when I was a child. My father gave me an apple, so I sold it, bought two more apples with the money I earned, and then sold it to buy four more apples. The child said thoughtfully, sir, I seem to understand. Mr. millionaire said, you know your sister. Later, when my father died, I inherited all his inheritance. "
18, a loyal party member died. God didn't want to accept the soul of an atheist in heaven, so he sent him to hell. A month later, the prince came sweating and said, "Take that man away quickly. He has trained almost all my children to be young pioneers! " God accepted, and after another month, the prince gloated and asked God, "What happened to that party member?" God said, "First of all, please call me * * ..."
19, galvanized coffins are certainly more durable, but wooden coffins are good for health.
20. I usually forget to scold you. You didn't know you were both civil and military until you hit him.
2 1. In order to attract business, the hot pot city wrote a sentence on the billboard: "Self-help hot pot, children under the height of 1 meter, each 30 yuan is free." My aunt in kindergarten was very excited after reading it. Holding 30 yuan's money, she led 50 children in her class to Hotpot City.
22. The leaders of China and the United States are more loyal than their bodyguards. The American leader ordered the bodyguard to jump from the 10 floor, and the bodyguard knelt down and said, "Come on, I still have family." . So the president of the United States gave in. The leader of China ordered the bodyguard to jump, but the bodyguard of China jumped without saying anything. The president of the United States quickly caught him in fear. China's bodyguard said, "Come on, I have a family.
Beggar: Sister-in-law, I haven't eaten for two days. Can I have some cake? Sister-in-law: Cake? I only have rice here. Beggar: Forget it if it's normal, but today is my birthday!
24. A woman asked a man, "Do I look good?" The man said: You are like Mona Lisa's sister now. The woman said: Really? Who is her sister? The man said: Janet Martha.
25. It is said that sandstorms have blown to Taiwan Province Province. Many old people took to the streets, spread out their hands, looked up at the sky at 45 degrees, burst into tears, took a deep breath and said excitedly, 60 years, 60 years, and finally smelled the soil in their hometown.
Some funny jokes.
Excerpts from some of the latest funny jokes
1. grandstanding can be flattering or falling out of favor.
There are two tragedies in life: despair and complacency.
Use the cold war to keep warm tonight!
4. A person's greatest sorrow is that he doesn't want to be himself.
Sad people love to drink, while lonely people love to sing old songs.
6. Push yourself and others.
7. The old man is very handsome.
8. I will go on until the river stops my thirst; Then sit and watch the rising clouds and get dizzy.
9. alas! Whisper what to say and what not to say.
10. Zi once said: Don't take my tolerance for you as your shameless capital!
1 1. I'm embarrassed to arrest you. How dare you steal?
12. Look at you! Looking at the back, I was anxious and turned my head to scare away millions of lions.
13. Anyway, my life is always different from their calculations. I don't know if they didn't get it right or if I lived wrong.
14. Rabbits don't eat grass beside their nests, and the quality is not good. Why are they looking around?
15. People are parallel imports and licensed goods.
16. No matter how well you dress, bricks will fall off.
17. I will try my best to realize my dream and make up for the cow I blew when I was a child.
18. Real warriors dare to face up to beautiful girls and bleak singles.
19. As a typical loser, you are really successful.
20. Your age is below the issue price.
Appreciation of the latest funny jokes
1. Shake like it, roll like it.
Never mention it, not because I forget it, but because I remember it.
3. Baidu can't find the 30-degree smile on your mouth.
I want the whole world to know that I'm keeping a low profile.
The biggest church in the world can't tolerate your sins.
6. It's not that the road is rough, but that you can't.
7. Read a trip to Wan Li Road in thousands of books, and make a lot of money to be a heartthrob!
8. Adults are overdue children and the elderly are invalid adults.
9. A slip of the foot makes a romantic figure.
10. Nausea Mom cried in disgust. Why? Because it's disgusting
1 1. The night gave me a black mouse, but I played with it until dawn.
12. Whenever the charge sounded, I quickly hid in the trench, because: I am undercover!
13. If I don't beat you, I will turn against you.
14. My heart is broken, and I support it like dumpling stuffing.
15. It's nothing to play the lute to a cow. Talking to cows is the real skill.
16. Xiu Yuan, it's still a long way, so let's take a taxi.
17. I don't want to laugh or get anesthetized.
18. People who respect others will always respect others. This virtue is common in banquet halls.
19. You did it right, no one will remember; When doing something wrong, even breathing is wrong.
My future is not a dream, but a nightmare.
A selection of some of the latest funny jokes
1. Most women like a man because she doesn't understand him.
2. The stock market is fiercer than the tiger and the housing market is fiercer than the stock market.
3. It looks beautiful from a distance, but you want to call the police if you look close.
The most hurtful words always come from the gentlest mouth.
You are the landlord of my website.
6. People are iron fans, not steel. If you don't pretend to hold it for a day, you will panic!
7. Face was given by others and lost by yourself.
Honey, my eyelashes are drowning.
9. Everything is possible in a dream.
10. God will certainly forgive me, because that is his profession.
Some interesting things.
1, I heard that you've been much more energetic since you got mental derangement.
Even 10086 has ignored me since I used the ring back tone.
I can't hug you with a brick in one hand. How can I protect you if I put down the brick?
I won't tell you that I ate the cut cake. I want to be rich and handsome.
5. Tucao is used to count money, not to make sense.
6. I am bored and sing to the computer. After singing, the computer suddenly crashed.
7. My mother gave birth to me. Do the math yourself and see who I am.
8. When in a bad mood, take the bus and sit behind her long hair to cut her hair.
9. Doesn't mean that men and women are equal now, so why can't I go to the ladies' room?
10, we'll see. If you dare to eat outside, I'll dare to drink outside.
1 1, let's go ~ Don't spoil the word youth, you are already in beginning of autumn.
12, I can't tell whether I am too strong or heartless.
13, I don't understand Baidu, don't ask me so many reasons.
14, my family was poor when I was a child. I can't afford a bike, so I have to take a taxi to school every day.
15. Don't stop me next time I die. Whoever stops me will die with me.
16, when you are alive, you will be laughed at at first, then you will laugh at others, and finally you will die laughing.
17, if one day, I can't get married, please bury me in if you are the one.
18, when the exam collapsed, I saw a question, vaguely remembering what the teacher said, but clearly remembering not listening.
19, I feel that the brightest smile in my life is probably dedicated to my mobile phone and computer screen.
20. When I am pursuing Happyness, I am afraid that I am not at home, so I am always at home.
2 1, it is said that women are as fickle as the weather, and men are like people who broadcast the weather-unreliable.
22. Look at the time not to get up, but to see how long you can sleep.
23, handsome and have a car, that is chess. It is the bank that has money and houses.
24. I always feel that others are full after eating a few bites, and I can eat more when I am full …
25. I passed a person countless times, and the clothes were all scratched and there was no spark.
26. It's not that I don't want to be a lady, but that the world has turned me into a bitch!
27. Take the self-study exam at night and take out your mobile phone to search for the answer. Suddenly, the teacher turned off the light and I ... turned it on.
28. I want to say that I am struggling. The end of the world is my birthday.
29, Wukong, don't be so cruel, give it to the teacher, let the teacher ride, and kill her.
30. Why do people live? Just for those great grandfathers Mao.
3 1, you wait, one day I will make you the mother of my future son!
32. Painting is like life. If you draw well, it's worthless. If you don't draw well, it's worthless.
33. Giving never equals taking back, but who am I waiting for?
34, patroness, the poor monk is too shallow to heal you through clothes, so he is guilty.
35. How did you grow up like this? Are you dissatisfied with the world?
36. If Shuai Neng is a meal, my face can support you for two lifetimes.
37. Every time QQ makes a "cough" sound, I think it's a handsome guy and my friend, but I didn't expect to be kicked out by the group owner.
If you are fat paper, remember not to wear a red scarf. Otherwise, you will be just like QQ.
39. Every time I face delicious food, I tell myself, "If I eat too much, I will die." But it turns out that I'm really not afraid of death.
40. If two feelings are long-lasting, it is in pork and pork.
Some very domineering funny sentences
1, it's really hard to be a woman these days. Open your heart, people say you are coquettish; Be traditional. People say you pretend.
I regard you as a treasure. You don't know that the sky is vast. I pushed you from a height and smashed you. What can you do with me?
I'm just used to having you, not wanting you!
Don't smile at me with your pirated Mona Lisa smile. My stomach is not as strong as you think.
Only a liar is sincere in the world, because he really cheated you.
6. mistress, thank you for taking away a man who is not worthy of my love. Xiao Si, thank you for your revenge.
7. If you forget, forget it. Can you delete me as a document? 360 forced uninstallation is really not good!
I don't even want a basin of spilled water. Interesting sentences
9. My mother praised me for being virtuous and having nothing to do.
10, life grinds us round, in order to let us roll further.
1 1, sister, I can't play chess, I can't write calligraphy, I can't draw, and I'm tired of washing and cooking.
12, because you are sorry, so I decided that this matter has nothing to do with you!
13, tear off the mask and slap yourself!
14, my world doesn't need too many people to understand, let you know, nothing!
15, people who understand me don't need my explanation, and people who don't understand me don't deserve my explanation.
16, your mother is a chicken, because only stupid chickens are stupid. Some very domineering funny sentences
17, how many sentences I love you, and finally I love you, which is mean! ! !
18, you will think if you care, and you won't even think if you don't care.
19, you are not handsome but ugly.
20, how far is the thought, how far you roll for me, how fast the speed of light, how fast you roll for me.