2. The main sports of contemporary youth: delivery by express and delivery by take-away!

I didn't go home for a few days, but I found my father in my beautiful eggs and washing dishes!

It's no big deal to start school. You will find that every Monday after work is more painful than starting school.

How dare my mother tell me not to sleep in class? She will fall asleep when she comes to the parent-teacher conference!

6. As long as one is fat, studying hard is like ordering food.

7. My friend said that I have a double chin, which is caused by frequent brushing of my mobile phone. Since then, every time I brush my mobile phone, I always look up. Unexpectedly, a month later, I had a tattoo on my head.

8. Women may cheat you, brothers may betray you, but not math. Math can't!

9. A little boy stepped on a shadow on the road. I felt very naive, because I was afraid that he would step on my shadow, so I bypassed him.

10. What good habits do you stick to in order to be beautiful? "I insist on beauty!"

1 1. Some people may just talk about eating dirt and have a lot of money in their pockets. I am different. When I said eat dirt, I actually drank the northwest wind.

12. I removed the TV. My father said to me: If you are safe, it will be sunny. If you are not safe, I will hammer you to death.

13. I put a photo of my wife in my wallet to remind myself why the money in my wallet is gone.

14. My buddy and his wife got married in a flash, and just got back from their honeymoon, they got divorced, which turned things upside down. I said, "As for divorce, what's the big deal?" Buddy: "She hid in the past!" I said, "Huh? Have you ever been divorced before? " Buddy: "It's worse than this! She won the prize in Taekwondo in the province! "

15. Men have gold on their knees, while women have gold on their heads, necks, ears and hands.

16. Recently, I was very sad because of my looks, and even felt inferior, because others always said that what looks good is not a good thing.

17. Does anyone like chubby girls? If there is, I will continue to eat!

18. Many people said I was cute and beautiful, so I quickly covered their mouths. Don't publicize what everyone knows!

19. After quarreling with others, I always feel that I didn't play well and want to quarrel again.

20. I was too fat. I wanted to lose weight, so I made an appointment with my good friend to go riding to lose weight. After riding for a month, the horse lost ten kilograms.

2 1. I woke up and found an extra 100 million in my account. At that time, I knew I hadn't really woken up.

22. My boyfriend is a perfect boy. He doesn't play games, smoke, drink, come home late and doesn't exist.

23. Do you want to get rich overnight? Do you want to become famous overnight? What are you waiting for? Wash and sleep!

24. Every day when the alarm clock rings, there are 500 reasons in my mind to ask for leave and not want to go to work, but none of them are reliable.

25. Be sure to save money well this month. Go to bed early and get up early and have no time to run. Be sure to change your bad temper. If not, send it again next month.

26. Do you like small animals? Me: Of course. How much do you like it? Me: I don't know, every meal!

27. I want to commit suicide when I get up in the morning, but every night, I forget who I am because I am sober, confident and arrogant.

28. Obesity is the pain of breathing. Eating KFC will hurt, eating McDonald's will hurt, and even drinking water will hurt.

29. The feeling of taking a courier is like reuniting with your long-lost flesh and blood, but you often find that the child looks like Lao Wang next door after being disassembled.