First, learn to trouble him.

Thin-skinned girls hurry to collect. If you want to seduce people invisibly, make them fall in love with you unconsciously, be good to you and recruit you.

I will. I believe everyone has read the book The Little Prince, right? The little prince likes his roses not because of what they have done for him, but because they have been protected and watered by him. Similarly, the best way to make him fall in love with you is not to help him and pay for him, but to let him help you. This is the famous "Franklin effect" in love psychology.

For example, if you borrow a book from him, ask him to hand in a report for you, or ask him to explain a math problem you can't solve, these are all things he can do, and he won't refuse. Your behavior will greatly encourage the boy's self-esteem, because he will think that his behavior can really help you. Then you invite him to dinner and buy him a small gift to express your gratitude, so that he will unconsciously have a good impression on you.

Second, create unfinished memories.

If you want men to remember you, you have to learn to make unfinished memories. There is a lyric that says very well, "those who can't get it are always in turmoil, and those who are optimistic are fearless." This is the psychological "Ze Genik memory effect". Psychologist Zegennik found that people are more impressed with unfinished business, because many people have a natural desire to finish it, so they will never forget unfinished business and make the person they like fall in love with you. Similarly, if you want him to forget you, you have to create some unfinished memories between you two. For example, when you are chatting warmly, you can say, sorry, I'm going to eat now, and the whole family is waiting for me; For example, if you are dating and he wants to take you home, you can tell him so. Just take it to the subway. It's too late, so you should go home early. These little unfinished memories will be in his mind, and he thinks about you all the time.

Third, intermittent reinforcement.

Psychologist Skinner once did an experiment: put three cats in different devices. The first cat can eat cat food as long as it touches organs, the second cat can only eat cat food randomly when it touches organs, and the third cat can't eat cat food no matter how it touches organs. The result is that the second cat has the greatest chance to get in touch with organs, which is what we usually call the random reward policy. In feelings, if you make the other person feel responsive, he certainly won't learn to cherish it. Because just like the first cat, he will think you are not challenging, and if you just give him a refusal like the third cat, he will also feel frustrated. So, we should be like the second cat. You should make the other person feel that you can not only say yes, but also refuse. You don't have to keep your appointment every time he calls, and you don't have to answer every phone call. Learn to refuse and welcome him so that he can't put it down.

Fourth, the exposure effect.

Psychologically speaking, if something appears repeatedly, it will increase people's love for it.

This is why people in the same school, the same college and the same major are more likely to fall in love. This psychological exposure effect is used to increase familiarity. Note that when I say exposure here, I don't mean that you have to contact people directly and then talk to them all day. This purpose is too obvious, and it will only backfire. I'm talking about naturally increasing the chances of contact between you two. For example, there is a lecture at school recently. You can invite him to watch it together, or you can invite him to play badminton and table tennis after dinner in the evening. During exercise, it can also increase the secretion of dopamine, make his heart beat faster and feel love for you.