Wenwo Li

"Goodbye, this cold world!" This is the shortest diary of the mountain, written on1September 5, 995.

Of course, this is not his last diary. Where does a fourth-grade child have the courage to commit suicide? But that day, Shan Wenzhi really planned it.

At that time, it was definitely impossible for primary school students to commit suicide, and there was no network to provide them with demonstrations and precedents. At that time, all the information that teenagers came into contact with came from school and family. At that time, the market economy had just arrived, and all families were alone, but the birth of children stayed in the planned economy. Every family has only one birth index, and once it is used up, children will never be allowed to regenerate.

Therefore, all children are treasures, regardless of their sons and daughters, they are the apple of their eyes, protected by two adults and four old people. They pick them up from school on weekdays and go to the playground on weekends, with all kinds of snacks, toys and beautiful clothes. On weekdays, I try not to let my children go out, and the worship is accompanied by adults at home, hugging them left and right, for fear of breaking them outside.

But Shan has never experienced the taste of being a "sweetheart". My mother said that men become bad when they have money-my father was harmed by the market economy and abducted by the "bad woman" wearing red and green pants in the ballroom. Grandma who lives in the suburbs is the only old man in the family and can only see her once a month. Usually, my mother is very busy at work. After school, Shan Wenzhi went home alone to do his homework. After finishing his homework, he went to the balcony and looked at two marigold pots in a daze. Marigold is the only clue that Dad stays at home. Lavender petals swell into small umbrellas, and a bunch of small purple umbrellas are clustered together, so you can resist the wind and rain outside, right? ChanZhiWen just smiled.

A paper plane flew in from the opposite window. Luo Yingying made a gesture on the other end of the phone. Shan Wenzhi knowingly spread out the paper plane, which read: "My mother should punish me for not eating dinner this time. What bad luck On my way home, I saw Miss Wang taking her parents into the game room and taking Xing Xing and Tang Long to the street to beat them. Tang Longya's teeth are bleeding, which is the secret of Liu Ruisong's accusation ... "

Shan went back to the house and took a pen and wrote on the back of the paper plane: "I didn't do well in the exam this time." Tomorrow is Saturday. I will go to my grandmother's house and ask her to sign the test paper so that I can be beaten less by my mother. " Xing Xing and Tang Long, they really shouldn't go to the game hall, but Liu Ruisong's gossiping is really annoying! Send you two stickers, don't be too discouraged! "Mountain Wen Zhi stuffed two robot cat stickers in the paper plane that replied.

The next day, on the way to grandma's house, Shan saw the game hall where Mr. Wang arrested people. Several rascally young people squatted at the door smoking, and the door was left unlocked. There was a loud electronic fighting sound effect, accompanied by boys screaming in dirty words. This is a forbidden area for good students. Teacher Wang, the head teacher, will warn everyone at every class meeting: stay away from the game hall, which is a concentration camp for fallen youth.

With this in mind, Shan Wenzhi stepped on a tightrope, and he quickly escaped from the concentration camp of degenerate youth. Shan Wenzhi, who left in a hurry, didn't notice that there was a food wholesale shop next to the game hall, and colorful goods piled up in front of him, which was very spectacular. In front of the counter, Liu Ruisong spread out his exercise book and wrote it quickly. He looked up and saw the mountain passing by the store door, and his mouth squeezed out a strange arc.

This weekend just happened to catch up with my mother's overtime. Shan Wenzhi escaped the dangerous period of signing the examination paper and stayed up until Monday.

At the class meeting on Monday, Mr. Wang walked into the classroom with a wry smile, and the noisy reading came to an abrupt end. "Classmates, the school clearly stipulates that students are prohibited from entering and leaving the business premises. I have warned you many times to stay away from the game hall. But last Friday, my parents and two classmates went to the surrounding game hall to check and caught two classmates in the class. According to the regulations, the school will give these two people a great punishment. " Miss Wang looked up at Xing Xing and Tang Long in their seats. They immediately blushed and bowed their heads.

Teacher Wang cleared his throat and continued: "The atmosphere in the class is getting more and more outrageous. Someone reported the arrest on Friday afternoon, and someone went in and out of the game hall on Saturday morning. Now, if you went to the game hall on Saturday, please stand up! " The whole class looked at each other, but no one stood up.

"Sam Wenzhi, where did you go on Saturday?" Teacher Wang's question was like a bolt from the blue, and he stood there cold.

"I ... I did my homework at home on Saturday morning, and then ... then I went to grandma's house."

"You lie! You obviously went to the game hall on Saturday! Teacher Wang, I was watching the shop next door and saw Shan Wenzhi coming out of the game hall with my own eyes! " You don't have to look back to know that the hoarse and loud voice behind you is Liu Ruisong's patent.

"Teacher wang, ChanZhiWen didn't go to the game room. I saw him watering flowers on the balcony on Saturday morning, and I live opposite his house! " Luo Hong stood up to testify for Shan.

"Luo Yingying you sit down! Shan Wenzhi, I called all the boys in my class on Saturday, but no one answered at your house. What's going on here? Where the hell have you been? " Under the strong light of teacher Wang, the mountain was on pins and needles. Stand up, it is equal to taking the initiative to admit injustice, and it will definitely not be eluted in the future. It's not good to sit still. The whole class stared at me like dozens of scissors pointing at their necks. Luo Ying looked at him with a red face, like a lamb betrayed by his master, with two huge tears in his eyes.

After a few seconds of silence, Mr. Wang pointed to the back door with his chin. The subtext of this action is clear to the whole class: stand in the back and listen to the class.

Shan Wenzhi stood the class against the wall, with everyone's back to the blackboard. He was left out of the world of justice and didn't understand a word in class.

Finally, after school, Liu Ruisong approached blankly and left a sentence: "Teacher Wang wants you and Luo Yingying to go to the office."

From the classroom to the office, Shan Wenzhi seems to have finished his whole childhood. In front of Mr. Wang's desk, stood an angry mother and Luo Yingying. She bowed her head and said nothing.

"ChanZhiWen, I'll give you one last chance, you in front of parents, the whereabouts of Saturday from beginning to end honestly say it again. Otherwise, I will report to the school according to their handling methods in Xing Xing and Tang Long. " Teacher Wang casually spread out a book with a cowhide cover and began to try it out.

"I did my homework at home on Saturday, and I went to grandma's house after finishing my homework. LiuRuiSong framed me, I just passed the game room on my way to grandma's house ... "Standing all morning, ChanZhiWen's strength to speak was also empty.

Teacher Wang put the pen heavily on the table, sighed, then looked at the single mother who said nothing, and snorted, as if to say, it's up to you.

A slap in the face, a bang, like an explosion near the brain. "Teacher Wang gave you a chance, why don't you admit your mistake? The students saw you go to the game hall, and the teacher called home to investigate. Why don't you repent? Also, you should not associate with Luo Yingying's little girl movies in the future. I would have seen her scheming and lying ... "

Luo Yingying burst into tears and panted out of the office. The distant footsteps in the corridor made Shan Wenzhi feel lonely. The whole world declared war on him, but he even lost his last ally. No one believed him, no one testified for him and no one could comfort him.

Helpless Shan Wenzhi had to explain that he failed in the math exam last week and was afraid to give his mother the test paper to sign, so he went to grandma's house on Saturday to ask her to sign it for him. If you don't believe me, you can ask grandma's house.

"Well, the child is not only playful, but also learned to play tricks secretly. I don't study hard at ordinary times, and I want to cheat after the exam. Your parents should correct his moral character. You lied when you were eight. Can you ...? "Teacher Wang, who always looks at people with his chin, shakes his head guiltily, like a defeated rooster.

"I worked so hard to raise you alone, just to make you lie? Do you know how to be shameless if you don't make progress and lose face in front of others? You're really great. Like that bastard, he doesn't do serious things, and his energy is spent on intrigue ... I don't have a son like you, so don't come back to my house! Go as far as possible! ……"

Scratching slaps came from all directions, and an atomic bomb fell overhead and blew up. After crying for a day, Shan Wenzhi was pushed out of the office by huge waves, ran out of school and ran into the street, running all the time, I don't know how far he ran. ...

It's windy all the way, and it hurts to cut your eyes. When I was exhausted, a beautiful world appeared in front of me, with neon flashing, traffic and music soaring. Shan Wenzhi broke into this strange adult world for no reason and was influenced by noise. In a trance, my father appeared at the entrance of Crystal Palace Entertainment City, next to a young woman, unable to see her face clearly. She wears heavy makeup. It turns out that the entertainment in my father's mouth is crazy in this place 100 times worse than the game hall, but the "bad woman" in my mother's mouth is so gaudy.

Shan Wenzhi tried to stop his father, but he was reprimanded and expelled by the fierce security guards at the door. He can only look up at the crystal palace from a distance, like a monster, breathing successful people like dad day and night. Xiao Shan Wenzhi doesn't understand why adults who have just bid farewell to hunger plunged into the entertainment city, floating and sinking in the smoke and noise, and falling from one sensory pain to another.

But at that moment, Shan Wenzhi was soberly aware of despair: the world was so big that he was homeless and had no companion or complaint.

During the earlier divorce, parents regarded each other as enemies, and when things reached a deadlock, the family disappeared with a click. On that day, the smoke cleared, and Shan saw his parents back to back, and he tasted a deep sense of loneliness for the first time. From then on, my mother began to work overtime day and night, stopping to sigh and complain. The father will form a new family with another woman, and then strive for an indicator to raise children. Today, the world remains the same, but it is black and white, odorless and tasteless, and the vast ruins.

At night, the mountain was awakened by a dog barking, opened his eyes, his body was as stiff as lead, and there was a puppy lying at his feet. Like him, the puppy got lost by the river on a frosty night. He vaguely remembered that he had just had a long dream. In the dream, he was chased by everyone and fled to the end, so he had to commit suicide. Then, the world returned to color, the sun was shining, and the birds were singing and the flowers were fragrant. That night, Shan picked up the puppy and went to grandma's house. It was also that night that he wrote the shortest diary in his life.

Shan Wenzhi's last diary was written ten years later-the day before he went diving in the river. On September 5, 2005, grandma died for a whole year, and the puppy was lost for 80 days, ten years before his father's second child was born.