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20 13 perfect composition for Shanghai senior high school entrance examination;

Today, I want to speak my mind. Some people say, "We shouldn't live for others." I want to say, "We can't just live for ourselves." Remember others and be grateful. So as not to feel lonely and confused on the long road. Today, I want to say from the bottom of my heart: "I sincerely thank you for the light and heat you brought me."

20 13 perfect score composition for Shanghai senior high school entrance examination: Today, I want to speak my mind.

+Shanghai candidates

It was getting dark, and the strong wind blew the dark clouds everywhere. I stared anxiously at the dark clouds overhead.

At this time, you came, carrying a red cloth belt and wearing a thin coat. The clothes are open, and the close-fitting thermal underwear is exposed in the field of vision. "It's still very cold, so wear thin clothes and be careful not to catch cold." I want to remind you that it is not good to be naked in front of so many people. I didn't expect you to say with a smile, "I just came to deliver your meal and just rang the doorbell, in case you forget, it was hot all the way." At this time, I noticed that my neck was soaked with sweat, and the pieces of black looked so dazzling.

All the way to the dormitory, what you told me was about your family, big and small. Answering all the way, I didn't listen much. In the dormitory, you and I sat opposite each other, two people with two eyes. You finally asked about my study. I stammered a few words and then buried myself in eating. You light a cigarette, take two deep breaths and say, "When you are tired, take more rest, don't tire yourself out, and eat more fruit." . No, your mother specially asked me to buy fresh apples, and I'll bring them to you ... "

I looked up at the window and the thick clouds rolled. You said you had to go to the bathroom, pulled some paper and came out. I said you just stayed in the dormitory, no one was there, and you just locked the door when you left. You turn around and say, "No, just go to the public toilet." Deep voice, and pace. I can't understand your stubbornness. When I locked the door and went downstairs, I caught a glimpse of a red bag lying quietly in a corner. My heart suddenly shocked and my heart was sour. My vision gradually blurred, and my father's words came to my ears: "No, I'll just go to the public toilet." "I'm going to the public toilet ..." It stung my heart like a needle. I finally understood my father's heart, not for himself, but for me. It was raining cats and dogs outside the window, as if to wash something clean. Raindrops patted the ground as if stroking a frivolous heart. The raindrops in the wind connect into silk bit by bit, and now we are connected together. Dad was diagnosed with illness years ago, and I heard it was still very serious. I remember once he said, "If only I could see that you are promising, I'm afraid …" His words were stopped by his mother. The scene of dad's shy smile seems to be in front of us.

Some people say, "We shouldn't live for others." I want to say, "We can't just live for ourselves." Remember others and be grateful. So as not to feel lonely and confused on the long road. Today, I want to say from the bottom of my heart: "I sincerely thank you for the light and heat you brought me."

20 13 analysis of the perfect composition of Shanghai senior high school entrance examination;

In the face of beautiful emotions, no matter how brilliant the creativity and gorgeous the language are, they will be eclipsed. This emotion is the key to impress the marking teacher. The "I" in the article is a little unhappy when I see my father's image, afraid of losing face. However, with the development of writing, the author helped "me" find a good feeling in my heart through the detail of "my dad goes to the toilet" and learned to "remember others and be grateful". The portrayal of characters' demeanor and clothes is exquisite and in place, which shows the deep fatherly love to the fullest. The persistent words of "just go to the public toilet" and the decisive action of "just go out" are impressive.

20 13 perfect composition for Shanghai senior high school entrance examination: Today, I want to speak my mind (2)

+Shanghai candidates

I am ... dead.

Sitting in my freezer, staring blankly at the black-and-white sadness in this hall, I felt nothing-I didn't breathe, I didn't have a heartbeat, I couldn't touch anything. And face, expressionless. "deadpan?" I stopped to think, although gunshots started to ring out outside. "Well, it should be this expression, which accounts for almost half of my life. A face of death, may be the last evaluation of others on me! I think ... "

I saw people coming in one after another. Former classmates, junior high school students, and even some kindergarten friends I haven't seen for years. I jumped out of the freezer and approached my classmates kneeling on the mat. Then I sat cross-legged with my face in my hands, trying to hear how I existed in other people's lives. But their mouths are handcuffed like fetters. I didn't hear the whispers in the crowd until someone left ... I swallowed and went closer to see their faces. As expected, it was a kind face. I heard some whispers, "He is expressionless when he is serious, but he makes us happy when he is silly …" I looked up and tried not to let my tears stay in my eyes. Inadvertently glanced at the Buddha statue on the wall and seemed to be smiling. So I stood up, cocked my head, leaned over their ears and whispered, "I do!" " "

I saw my relatives coming slowly. The adults knelt down, and the children looked at all this blankly and were crushed by the adults. I haven't known for a long time, only my parents who have been crying. My father's eyes were red and swollen, and my mother leaned against me. Many years later, I once again saw my mother leaning on my father's shoulder. This scene made my heart bleed immediately.

I just didn't expect that the black hair I would see every time my parents came to deliver meals had accumulated into gray in my growing years. I am so weak about time that I can't even share a second of aging for my parents. At this time, I brought endless pain to my parents. The nest built by ants who have been close for more than ten years has finally made today's tears burst its banks. I knelt down and got lower and lower until my body was on the ground. On weekdays, they always teach me to hold my head high with a smile, but I can only bow my head and thank my parents. "Mom and Dad, please give me a chance. How much I want to stay with you!" Tear one's heart out ... "

Son, get up. "I heard someone habitually urging in my ear. I pinched myself hard before I believed that I had gained a new life from my dream. At this time, I really want to whisper to everyone I meet: "Hello, good morning. "

20 13 analysis of the perfect composition of Shanghai senior high school entrance examination;

The idea is unique and novel. Starting with "the death of self", the author is unconventional. How to cherish life, cherish life? Looking at such a proposition from the perspective of "death", the problem is solved. The article constructs the whole article with a "dream", one is a dreamland and the other is the feeling of waking up from a dream. The former used a lot of space to write his feelings about friendship, parents and elders, which led to the true feelings gained in heartbreak.

The latter is simply to mention, wake up the dreamer with a "hello, good morning". Who would have thought that a dream would make me suffer such unforgettable pain? This idea is amazing.

I hope I can help you and adopt it.