The Book of Changes says: "Peel off, peel off, be gentle and become strong. Disadvantages lead to difficulties and villains grow up. Stop and look at the image. The gentleman is still gone, and the sky is also. " In other words, peeling is the image of peeling and rotting. At this time, femininity is powerful, and erosion has changed the nature of masculinity. It is not conducive to going, indicating that the villain's power is growing. At this time, a gentleman should conform to the current situation, stop acting and observe the divination. Gentlemen should pay attention to the changes of things, such as the disappearance, surplus and deficiency of things, which is the natural operation law. It can be seen that in the face of suffering, we can't persist blindly, but we must learn the principle of flexibility and master favorable methods to get rid of the predicament.
Many times, we will find some "sad people" around us. They have one thing in common, that is, although they are not stupid, they are often entangled in something absolutely useless. No matter how others persuade them, they always stick to their own opinions and even find many naive reasons to deceive themselves. It was not until one day that he was finally freed from torture that he suddenly woke up and regretted it.
There was a flood somewhere, and the whole village was ruined. Many villagers fled, and a priest who was very devout to God climbed onto the roof, waiting for God's help.
Soon, the flood flooded the roof, and a wooden boat just passed by, and the people on board wanted to take him to escape. Believers confidently said, "No, God will save me!" " "So the wooden boat left him.
In a short time, the river has overflowed his knees, and a motorboat happened to pass by. In order to save the survivors, the believers said, "No, God will save me." The motorboat had to go to other places for rescue work.
Half an hour later, the flood rose to the shoulders of believers. At this time, a helicopter lowered the ladder to save him. He refused to go up even if he died, saying, "Don't worry about me, God will save me! ! "The helicopter had to leave.
Finally, the water continued to rise and the believers were drowned.
After his death, he went to heaven and met God. He shouted: "I am your faithful believer." I believe you have seen what I have done in the past forty years, but why don't you save me at this critical moment? "
Hearing this, God cried: "What else do you want from me? I have sent you two boats and a plane! "
What a stubborn priest, he doesn't think God will use other tools to save him. Exaggeration, arrogance, laziness and ruthlessness are one of the elements of stubborn psychology. This kind of person is characterized by emotional instability, poor social adaptability, no flexibility, indifference to the surrounding environment or people, easy friction with people, and poor interpersonal relationship. I am depressed, but I can't listen to others' words. My psychological accumulation is nowhere to be solved, and I finally fall into the quagmire of psychopathy.
The story of Zheng people buying shoes: It is said that a person in Zheng wanted to buy shoes, so he first measured his feet at home. He went to the place where shoes were sold in the market and chose a pair of shoes for a long time. Just as he was about to buy it, he suddenly said, "Ah! I forgot my size! " With that, he immediately went home and took the paper with the size written on it and took it away. He returned to the market, only to find that the shoe seller had left. He visited several shoe stores again, but he couldn't find his favorite shoes any more. Hearing this, the friend asked him, "Why don't you try on your shoes with your own feet?" He said: "I only believe in size, not my own feet!" " "Hearing this, my friend shook his head and left with a sigh. Later, people used "honest people buy shoes" to describe those who do not proceed from reality and stick to the rules.
There is another story: a monk lived in a small temple in the mountains. One night, while he was meditating, a thief came in. At first glance, the thief said, alas, a person is meditating here, motionless, as if asleep. So, the thief slowly touched the Buddha statue, took the money from under the altar and was about to turn around and go out. The monk suddenly shouted "Stop", and the thief got a fright. The Zen master said, "You just took the Buddha's money and left without saying thank you?" The thief quickly thanked the Buddha. Soon after, the thief was arrested for committing another crime in other places and confessed that he had stolen money from the temple. The police took him to the temple to confront him. The Zen master said, "He came to withdraw money, but he didn't steal it because he said thank you to the Buddha." The thief was moved by Zen master's tolerance, so he became a monk with him and became an excellent yogi. Therefore, it is not necessary to use a fixed system and a certain punishment. Sometimes it is better to improvise. Maitreya Buddha, a cloth bag monk (incarnation) in the Tang Dynasty, often carried his cloth bag everywhere to show mercy to the world. One day, when I went to the fields with farmers, I wrote a poem: "Put your hands in the fields and look down at the water in the sky;" Six static ways are the way, and retrogression is the way forward. "This poem tells us that retrogression can also be regarded as progress. As the saying goes, take a step back and broaden the horizon. The stage of life is not big, and sometimes we may not be able to go straight ahead. At this time, if we can retreat behind the scenes and think calmly, if we can give in to people and things and start over, we will find that the road is getting wider and wider.
The above two stories are all about how to handle things flexibly, which is worth learning. In fact, there are many such people in our lives. When people first enter the business, the work they are engaged in is often a passive choice. However, how many people sigh "I don't like this job" and "my major will be abandoned if this continues", but at the same time they are silent under the narcissism of "good pay", "work is relatively easy" and "a leader values me very much", and they don't follow in their hearts. Years later, when you wake up, you can't help saying, "If only I had jumped out decisively and made a new choice."
If you do something that hasn't improved in three to five years, please refer to the Book of Changes-Change. Find the reason quickly, and then make a decision to change the industry, project, subject, unit or person. Because life is too short, we can't endure a few years of no improvement in our limited working years. Wang Bo of the Tang Dynasty said: "A hundred years of life is like a moment." Others said: "Life is full of plants and trees." All these remind us that life can't stand the consumption of mediocrity, and it will change immediately once it is discovered. Flexibility can promote people's thinking, remind people to pay attention to observation, point out the maze for invention in a broad sense, and help promote the process of human civilization. If you always stick to your own opinions, don't learn appropriate flexibility, and just use it rigidly according to what you have learned, then what you have learned is still others' and never your own.
So, how can we adjust our stubborn psychology? Nothing more than grasping the following aspects:
One is to overcome vanity. No one is perfect, and there is no shortage of gold. Everyone has shortcomings and mistakes, and there is no need to hide them. We should treat life sincerely, set lofty goals and pursue beautiful and lofty things. Don't talk big, don't pretend to understand, but focus on your own career, so that the abnormal "energy" of vanity can be transformed and achieve psychological balance.
The second is to strengthen self-discipline. We should be good at overcoming our own resistance and rude speech behavior, and learn to use the psychological adjustment method of emotional transformation. Take the initiative to admit your mistakes and don't stick to your own opinions.
The third is to learn to accept new things. Stubbornness is often associated with being narrow-minded, unwilling to accept new things and worrying about things that have never been experienced. Therefore, we should form the habit of longing for new knowledge, be willing to know new people and things, and learn its novelty and essence.
Fourth, read more good books. Decca, a French mathematician and philosopher, said, "Reading some good books means talking to many virtuous people." Experiments have proved that reading biographies of great men often can make those stubborn people get spiritual comfort. Rich knowledge makes people smart, broadens their thinking and prevents them from sticking to dogmatic stereotypes.
In addition, birds of a feather flock together, people are divided into groups, personal cultivation and the objects of peacetime communication are also important factors for the formation and development of stubbornness. Frequent contacts with people who are sociable, flexible or open-minded will change or weaken their stubbornness; The interaction between stubborn people and stubborn people will make both sides more stubborn.