1. Help children identify emotions
The first step in managing emotions is to be able to identify your own emotions. We can always point out children's emotions: excitement, disappointment, pride, loneliness, expectation, etc. Constantly enrich children's emotional vocabulary.
Now many parents can deliberately love their children. In fact, one function of love is to help children realize their specific feelings at that time.
Need to be reminded that sometimes when children are angry, they will be disgusted with this emotional identity and will not listen at all. We can calm him down first, and then come back to talk to him about his feelings after the child calms down.
The more children can identify emotions, the more they can express them clearly and accurately, which is the beginning of dealing with emotions. If he can express himself, he can communicate and find a way.
Sometimes, as long as you express it, your mood will be solved.
2. Taste beautiful things with children.
When talking about positive emotions, we should pay more attention to the beautiful things in life and add positive elements to ourselves. What exactly should I do?
There are many ways to have good taste. For example, point out all kinds of savory details to children at any time. It's easy to overlook the little things in life. When we show them to children, we are prolonging these moments and expanding these details.
Every day after school, we often watch the color of the sunset. Sometimes it is pink, and she says it is strawberry; Sometimes it is golden yellow, so she says it is orange. It has just snowed these two days. When my daughter and I came back, the road was icy and slippery, and we had a difficult journey. She was optimistic that the bushes were covered with marshmallows.
We felt the broken ice under our feet again. We imagine a kingdom of ice and snow, and imagine ourselves living in it. She found bubbles under the thin ice, so she stepped on it and the bubbles moved.
I hugged her again and touched the ice hanging on the tree ... I hope she will ignore the hard road and keep these little things in mind.
Another way to taste beauty is to store memories and prolong beauty. In other words, take photos, video, keep a diary, file, often watch with children and review these wonderful moments.
In addition, to improve the quality of taste, it is necessary to cultivate the habit of children doing things wholeheartedly. Nowadays, with the fast pace of life, children can learn to combine several things with adults, which seems to improve efficiency, but in fact, they have developed the habit of distraction. Concentrate on eating, talking on the phone and walking, and we can all feel more from it.
Another important way to taste delicious food is sharing. We all know that children can't be forced to share. Encourage children to share actively and let him feel the fun. The reason why children sometimes don't want to share is because they still lack a sense of security about ownership, have limited logical thinking ability, and feel uncontrollable and unpredictable about the environment. These adults must understand.
In fact, very young children can also take the initiative to share. My daughter and kindergarten children often share food with each other. At home, she can walk around for adults before eating fruit, and she will also give them something that they are optimistic about, although sometimes she is very reserved-take it back after showing it to you for a second, or just watch it without touching it.
Sharing good things and doubling the beauty, I think this exists in human nature.
Mencius taught Qi Xuanwang: "Are you happy alone or with others?" Qi Xuanwang admits that it is best to enjoy music with others, and the more people, the better.
3. Always affirm the positive character and character.
Several positive personalities and figures are listed above. In fact, there are many others not listed, such as trust, equality, respect and so on. We usually pay less attention to the so-called shortcomings and mistakes of children, as well as various deficiencies in ability, and more attention should be paid to the performance of these excellent characters of children. Once found, we will confirm it in time. After such a long time, children will develop more in these directions.
Parents nowadays pay too much attention to their abilities. We can think of it this way. It's hard to say what kind of abilities children will have when they grow up, but good character and character are useful everywhere.
Ability may be buried and abandoned, but character and character will never be.
4. Recognition and emphasis on the sense of growth
I invented this word: sense of growth. We adults will feel very happy when we find that we have grown up. For children, growth is all they have, so it is more important.
Whenever the child makes progress, we will point it out in time, let him see it and tell him, do you remember what you were like last year or last month? Now you can do it!
Progress, improvement and growth can best reflect the value of children themselves. Seize the opportunity at any time, find concrete progress, and tell your children that you are better today than yesterday!
5. Cultivate hobbies and provide opportunities to do things.
The cultivation of hobbies cannot be overemphasized. Psychologists have found that people who like maturity are more interested in new things and have stronger learning ability. Because their study is driven by internal motivation, they have stronger willpower and passion.
I think, the function of hobby is not only to dispel doubts, cultivate sentiment, relax and so on, but also to be like a spiritual friend, to share with it when people are happy and to talk to it when they are sad. In addition, it may also provide people with a new identity and make you have a richer life experience. For example, you are a teacher, but when you walk out of the classroom, you may tell others that you are a baker.
But this is not the most important thing. Hobbies can provide us with an opportunity to devote ourselves to doing things, and this feeling of devotion is very valuable. Some psychologists call it "euphoria", which is said to be an important source of happiness.
When you do what you like, you are so absorbed that you forget the time and your existence. Zhuangzi described this situation several times. According to him, at this time, you and Tao are interlinked, so there will be a strange display.
The secret of this euphoria lies in the delicate balance between your skills and challenges. In other words, what you do is as difficult as your level. Of course, this had better be something you like to do. But then again, many times, even neutral things, such as homework, will enjoy the process if their ability and difficulty are equal.
So let's go back and think about what we should choose to let our children do. We always want to give our children more enjoyment out of love. But if he is allowed to enjoy passively, such as watching TV and eating, he also has fun, but these pleasures are superficial and short-lived. He is more committed to something slightly challenging. If it is too difficult, he will lose interest again.
In fact, children can often experience this hearty feeling when playing games. When my daughter is playing, if I ask her to eat apples or something, she usually doesn't listen at all. Therefore, the investment and freedom of children's play are very valuable. We should encourage them more and disturb them less.
When children are older, they tend to be mixed with a lot of utilitarianism. When they are under pressure, it is difficult to devote themselves wholeheartedly. Nowadays, many interest classes have turned their interest into boredom. Our parents should think more about their role in it.