Today, Sean will talk to you about how to be a qualified parent.
First of all, you need to have certain financial strength to raise and educate your children.
Secondly, make clear what kind of person the child will be trained to be.
Giving birth to a child is not a simple life, but more importantly, education. Every child is born with a blank sheet of paper. What you draw on it will make him look like in the future. Do you want him to be kind or vicious? Do you want him to be honest or cunning? Should he be responsible or not? Do you want him to benefit society or harm society? (Pay attention to WeChat official account to get more dry goods for parenting: "Ndjila International Early Education" public micro-signal: ENJORbaby)
Recently, the news that Hu Hedong, a 22-year-old boy from Wuhan Railway Station, hacked to death the noodle shop owner because of a one-yuan dispute touched everyone's nerves. He should have accumulated knowledge and wealth and explored life and the world, but he made a big mistake because of his distorted personality, extreme thoughts and amazing three views.
Subsequent reports said that he suffered from mental illness. We won't judge the whole thing. We just need to see the reaction of Hu Hedong's parents after the accident. His father kept silent after learning the news, but his mother had no choice but to apologize. Their reaction was not surprising, indicating that they knew something similar would happen.
I knew this for a long time, but I didn't take any measures to let it go. I am irresponsible to my son and society. I am weak and incompetent. It can be seen that when they brought their son into this world, they didn't think about what kind of person they would turn him into. Even when he ran counter to normal people, they didn't try their best to pull him back.
Parents can't decide whether their children will become scientists, doctors or ordinary people in the future, but they can decide what kind of people they will become in the future. Therefore, before becoming a parent, we must be clear about what kind of person our children will be trained to be. Of course, kindness, integrity, sense of responsibility and contribution to society are the qualities that must be cultivated.
Every parent wants their children to be smart, outstanding and stand out among their peers, but these qualities seem to only appear in other people's children, and their children seem to be born naughty and don't like learning. Maybe it's me.
The importance of words and deeds
How many parents lie on the sofa playing mobile phones and watching TV after coming home from work? How many parents read books when they are with their children?
Children over one year old have been able to imitate the activities of adults and are interested in things that adults are interested in, and these interests will basically continue in the next decade or so. If parents poke their children's mobile phones most of the time every day, children are naturally interested in poking their mobile phones; If parents spend a lot of time reading in front of their children every day, children will also be interested in reading.
Parents are children's first teachers, so creating a positive life and learning atmosphere and setting an example are the source of children's knowledge and wisdom. Not only studying, dealing with people, eating, talking and sleeping, but also the little things in parents' life have a subtle influence on their children's growth.
Distinguish between doting and doting.
"Mom, buy me that toy!" "Ok, I'll buy it for you!"
"Dad, I'm going to Disney!" "Ok, I'll take you!"
"Mom, there's a little fat guy bullying me in class." "Who dares to bully my son? Mom will go to school to find a teacher tomorrow! "
......
Parents love their children and always want to give them the best things. They are afraid of being bullied, and unconsciously confuse doting with doting. Although spoiled children may be healthy and intelligent, their non-intellectual qualities are flawed, such as willfulness, selfishness, strong dependence, inability to get along with others on an equal footing, and weak personality. Children who have been spoiled for a long time are often what we call Xiong Haizi.
"What are you doing? Want to hit someone? " -"Your child scratched my car!"
"I didn't see it! Besides, what are you doing as an adult and a child? "
So how can we not spoil our children? You can follow the following points.
When the child makes a request, stick to the principle, establish a contract with him, educate him to pay first and then reap, and cultivate his contractual spirit;
Don't care too much, do everything, let the children undertake what they can, and cultivate their independence and sense of responsibility;
Praise your child's advantages and strengths appropriately, and don't excuse your child's shortcomings.
Not so arbitrary
Every time you make a decision for your child, you are weakening his ability to stand on his own feet and hindering his growth.
For example, sign up for special classes. In order not to let the child lose at the starting line, piano, dance, calligraphy and taekwondo enrich his life, thinking that he has more skills than he needs, hoping that he can learn more at the most suitable stage. I never thought whether he was talented or interested.
If you don't know your child's talent, you can do a genetic test of your child's advantage, and then choose a suitable extra-long class according to your child's talent, instead of focusing on piano and dance.
Family relationship is harmonious, giving children complete love.
A father's best love for his children is to love his mother. A mother's best love for her children is to appreciate and admire her father.
The conjugal love between husband and wife will make children feel the love from their parents at the same time, just like weaving a gentle nest at home, children will know more about love, feel more secure and be more conducive to communication with others. The cold relationship between husband and wife is often accompanied by noise, cold war and even swearing, which makes children from family backgrounds suppress too many negative emotions.
How to make children grow up healthily and happily depends on their parents, so are you a qualified parent?