It stirred up a thousand waves for a time: the incident happened in a high-end residential area in Hangzhou CBD, and the house was a luxury house with a sea view of Qiantang River, worth more than 20 million yuan.
This topic involves our nerves too much: wealthy businessmen, luxury houses, nannies, theft and murder, which is heartbreaking. All the focus of public discussion is on one identity, nanny.
1
The person who commented the most said that this layman was too irrational. Why does he eat and live with the nanny like a family?
I once talked to a nanny who took her children to kindergarten from birth. She said that her mother hadn't given her a raise for three years, but she felt that she didn't want to care about the few hundred dollars. "We get along like a family just to get along well." He also said that the family needs money urgently, and the mother of the child can lend me tens of thousands of dollars to relax.
This shows that the fact that the householder lent money to the nanny aunt is not an accidental event with a weak family and a lack of crisis prevention awareness. There are biological factors.
For a nanny like me who has had more than five aunts in her family (used to being called aunts), I know the pain and difficulty.
An aunt once invited by my family put forward this idea when she came. Her husband is gone, and she came out to work to earn some money for her son and to make some contacts for him. I hope to give her son some help at work while paying attention to her work. This is a vision, and we only heard it at that time.
Aunt came home with good intentions and motives. Very capable and willing to do it. But in the end, in just two months, I asked to go home. The reason is that her son called and said that there was a power outage at home and he couldn't find the key to the electric box.
This seems to be a very small thing. However, it is very difficult to stay in a foreign land for two months without seeing your family, unfamiliar living environment and living habits that need to be re-established. Just one phone call, my aunt's homesickness was ignited, and she directly asked to go home in two or three days without any consequences.
Later, it turned out that she was not in a hurry to leave. I explained that she came to her senses and promised to work for another month until I found a replacement.
It can be said that people who go out to be aunts have no social life.
Leave home to take care of the children. In this case, I get up at 8 am six days a week, cook porridge, clean up, bathe the children, greet them to eat, wash the dishes, take them to class on time after class, take them out for a walk after class, and make sure to go out for air at least once a day. Then lunch, put the child to bed, get up and arrange the child's play, then cook dinner for him and the child, take a bath and wash the clothes for the child. Then breast-feed and give it to the child's family.
In the eyes of different people, this kind of festival has different degrees of difficulty. I can't stand the poor physical strength. At the end of the day, the real free time is the time for children to take a lunch break and sleep at night. Everything else is a building, there is no building.
I can't see my relatives, I can't really communicate with laymen, and I have few opportunities to establish effective social interaction in my external life, which makes my aunt's life extremely poor.
This is why a young woman would rather do any other job, even if the salary is not as good as that of her aunt, but she is free! After work, you have leisure time, so you don't have to share a room with a close-up layman. Not a day goes by when children with 15 hour communication level are struggling.
2
I once observed a phenomenon in the early childhood education center: after class, aunts left their children in the play area, and then got together in groups of three and five. The topic of conversation was probably how to do a good job in children's behavior habits and how to get worse, especially now children should pay attention to all-round training.
You will find that it doesn't really matter to them what they talked about, whether it is correct or not. What is important is that they vent, communicate and express each other on that occasion, as if it were an important meeting for self-establishment.
You will find that aunts are afraid to talk about places that are difficult to say or even recognized by the head of the household. They will complain in the rest area of the early education center and draw the key points.
So, why do people prefer to do other jobs rather than be nannies?
In real life, how many people have the conditions to give the nanny a separate room and activity space like the Hangzhou couple sea view room?
Anyone, rich or poor, needs to socialize. Even if you buy food and go home with your next-door neighbor, it is a rare free pressure and communication. For those aunts and nannies who think that going to work in big cities is as simple as exchanging labor for wages, they will be caught off guard.
I often take pains to find a nanny, and even refuse a nanny who is kindly introduced by others. Because this is a job that needs a lot of jobs, is willing to work for money, does not make horizontal comparisons, and has a good attitude.
Because some people are used to pampering themselves in their own homes, they think it is difficult to bring a child out, but they are proud to speak a little;
Because some people emphasize that they have taken care of children, but taking care of children in rural areas and taking care of children in cities are two different things;
Because some people think that it is enough to take care of children without pain or hunger for three meals a day, in order to save trouble, children are not given the possibility and space to play.
Taking care of children is both easy and difficult. Taking care of children is both difficult and easy.
The difficulty is that although the child is a small individual, he should always pay attention to growth and safety. It is easy to repeat the same work day after day, but as long as the frequency of adaptation develops to a tune, it is as normal as eating at ordinary times and the relationship is harmonious, instead of taking care of the children nervously.
three
I used to think that I had changed too many aunts, and I learned only after chatting with a mother in the community that her children graduated from kindergarten and changed 15 aunts. In the last year, I finally met a suitable one, and as a result, people had something to go home at home.
I once met a mother of triplets and asked her aunt to make it clear. She said that the aunt that the intermediary company is looking for now is unreliable and demanding. What time do you go to work in the morning, take a lunch break at 2 noon and get off work at 6 pm? After this time, you need a raise.
But a child may fall asleep at 12 o'clock, and may not sleep at 4 o'clock in the afternoon if he plays too high. You picked yourself out. What else do you want? When the mother finally grinds out some demands and the child finally gets used to the aunt, she will ask for a raise, otherwise another family willing to pay the same price will mainly invite her.
There are many such people who just took care of their children, but asked for a raise and left without it.
In this case, the thrilling life, uncontrollable tossing, will be easily solved by a "leave"?
For a family, it takes at least half a year: it takes time to continue looking for suitable candidates, find suitable ones, find unsuitable ones and then change them, even if they are suitable, they need retraining. The most important thing is to let the children re-adapt to a person with different gas fields and bands, and they will not be able to get down in less than half a year.
Therefore, for many aunts, once they are unhappy, they have the weight to walk away. But for parents, children are an innocent world, which is an emotional coercion from the adult world to the children's world.
Do you say the head of the household is in the initiative? number
Because the longer I stay at any time, my aunt can stop at any time as long as she is not satisfied. For young children and parents, there is no choice. From the moment my aunt entered the house, she was destined to continue. Because the bigger the damage to the child caused by the dissolution of the relationship, the bigger it is.
Even if you invite an aunt according to family needs, even if you have interpersonal constraints, you will eventually break up. So it is conceivable that in this society, who really has patience and professional ethics and is willing to take taking care of children as a serious and perfect thing?
Who will feel at ease when working as a nanny?
In today's society, people from all walks of life are more or less opportunistic, thinking about when they will get rich overnight and what opportunities they will encounter suddenly, instead of achieving their goals year after year through their own accumulation and efforts. Moreover, the worse the environment, the more serious this casual mentality.
four
Good aunts are not without them. From what I have encountered, it is very coincidental that both of them are members of the young team without exception. There is a 70-year-old child. She is young, delicate, has her own ideas and flexibility, and has given us a lot of help in parenting knowledge. It will be much better to think and get along.
And more middle-aged women, living habits, concept consciousness, quite stubborn. This is also the reason why the threshold of domestic domestic domestic work is so low. Most employees are the first choice for older, laid-off and unskilled women.
Aunt housekeeping becomes the best choice for reemployment. In addition, it is difficult to talk about majors without the contractual spirit of external factors.
Some even have serious life crises, such as Mo Mou, the arsonist in the nanny case. There are also many foreign women who have experienced mental trauma such as husband's extramarital affairs and domestic violence. This shows that at some stages of their lives, they are not happy, and it is not easy to go out and find a life.
However, it is very unlikely that you can get out of your new life. This is very clear to Fan, who was a smash hit before. He changed the fate of the nanny through his young reading history. Just a small star in Vientiane group, very few.
It is also difficult for a family to meet a suitable aunt.
On the other hand, does the nanny arson warn us well: does the domestic company need to improve its personnel selection and professional quality training mechanism?
As mentioned in the famous "Three Faces of Tang Qiang" program, rich people in Hong Kong never use mainland nannies and servants. After a long time, they will call you brother. Moreover, it is against personal professional ethics. As a laborer, there is an employment relationship with the head of the household, and they are equal in personality, but there is a distance between the rich and the poor. In principle, a relative boundary should be maintained.
Everyone has everyone's starting point, * * * in a room is easy to cause the illusion of * * * room * * *. However, I forgot the fact that what I offer is essentially to exchange labor for money. After all, it is natural that any business activity is paid work.
I still remember visiting her head teacher when Yue Yue gave birth. Her words made me feel very professional and simple: she said that each of us would bring our own toiletries, and we would never mix them with the householder, nor would we let the householder provide them.
Yes, this is the minimum sense of boundaries. But our middle-aged aunt, who doesn't hold the mentality that I don't spend money if I use a little of yours?
PS:
For this society, nannies and domestic workers can be regarded as vulnerable groups.
Is this crusade against nanny a collective cry of the middle class and the upper class for a sense of survival?
The reality is, as a nanny, how many people can use the computer, write their own experiences and write their own eyes? This must be a strong condemnation of the powerless rule. How much disrespect have you never seen?
I only hope that the trigger of these news events will make us pay more attention to the living conditions of a group and promote the development of an industry. At the same time, everyone can safely guard their own affairs, make their future better than the present, and make their present better than the past, all through their own efforts. Not the other way around.