I have been a stay-at-home mother for more than four years, and I try my best to do this job well. But two years ago, I really resisted this label.

I have experienced the days when there is no old man around to help me, my husband works in other places, and I take care of my children while working alone; Also experienced the struggle, hesitation and contradiction before resigning; I also experienced the sadness and anxiety of being a full-time mother after resigning.

Stay-at-home mothers should take care of their children's three meals a day, take care of their children's early education, take their children out for exercise in the sun, and do some cleaning and washing … At the end of the day, plan the time, make overall arrangements and change roles at any time. The point is that you are obviously very busy and spend so much time and energy, but you can't tell what you are busy with.

A while ago, in the variety show My Brother Thorn, Li Chengxuan's words about stay-at-home fathers made too many stay-at-home mothers scream. "In the trivial life, it is easy for us to lose ourselves. Low sense of accomplishment and low sense of value is a particularly terrible thing. " This is especially true for well-educated post-80s and post-90s mothers. This is also the reason why many stay-at-home mothers feel anxious and confused.

I just resigned for two years, woke up in the middle of the night, swiped my mobile phone to see my colleagues' circle of friends, who opened up new customers and who went to the exhibition. They were radiant in the photos. I am faced with pots and pans, chickens and dogs, and I am really anxious and scared.

With this anxiety, I read many such articles, and a blogger's speech on early childhood education gave me great inspiration.

She said that proper anxiety can help us stay awake and make people more motivated. So instead of denying anxiety itself, what we should do is to consciously control our anxiety.

What should I do if I am anxious? Make a list of your worries.

First, it is your own professional skills. If you are only staying at home full-time temporarily, you still have plans to work in the future. So, can you teach yourself what you are most familiar with at home to ensure that these skills will not be lost when you return to the workplace?

Second, keep good energy and posture. No matter what happens at work, you should dress appropriately when you go to the office. But people are relaxed at home and may ignore these. Can you take time to exercise while the child is sleeping? There are so many online fitness videos now, even if it is only half an hour, exercise. You can exercise strength, stretch, or simply jump rope. Let your body's internal state and external manners be more energetic.

Third, keep reading. Stay-at-home mothers can easily bury themselves in their children's eating and drinking Lazar. When you are tired, just lie down and brush your mobile phone to watch DY. Many times I can't take care of in-depth reading. You can start with what you are interested in, find a favorite book, set a small goal and read enough pages every day. Or subscribe to a newspaper and read it every day when the children are reading, so that they can keep up with the rhythm of social news and not get stuck in the conversation with their husbands and friends.

After these things are done, will there be good results? Not necessarily. However, when we do these things, we will have a very clear sense of certainty-I am keeping myself perfect and closely connected with the world. To put it bluntly, what we really want is this sense of certainty.

So, I found my interest and developed it into a specialty step by step. Practice yoga, strengthen study, take a certificate, be a teacher, substitute classes, and get recognition from students. Although it takes a long time, it is also grown up step by step with the naked eye. Now I am at home full-time, feeling less anxious and more calm.

Are we trying to get others to praise us and work hard for others' opinions? Don't! ! ! I hope that our efforts to change are for our women themselves, not the so-called independent women in the eyes of others.

What matters is what we do every day, and whether you will regret not working hard today tomorrow. Only when the heart is full of strength can we resist the invasion of those bad emotions.

Finally, I hope we women love ourselves more and don't let the baby occupy all of you. Because you don't love yourself, no one will love you so much.

-With all the mothers.