The more parents are like this, they will often lament the difficulty of raising children, and all kinds of problems and troubles of raising children will follow. The troubles brought to these parents are mainly the physical and mental diseases of children caused by sensory imbalance. If the child is in a state of serious sensory imbalance for a long time, the following growth problems will occur, such as language development retardation, fidgeting, grumpy, timid, crying, self-distrust, clingy, unsociable, inactive and autistic, which will affect the child's physical and mental health.
So how can modern parents not put their children first?
The main reason is the false companionship of parents, that is, no time to play games with their children, especially no time to play games with their children. Let's take a look at the following phenomena.
0 1
Cleanliness is more important
The main reason why many parents criticize their children is that they have done something that displeases their parents. For example, children make a mess at home and get their clothes dirty. A mother said that the child is always the water in the player's room. Every day, they should turn on the tap and let the water play in the bathroom. She often criticizes children, "Don't play with water. You filled the ground with water, and you got wet as soon as you finished cleaning it. This water is to spend money ... "
Such parents think it is more important to keep the floor dry at home, the water fee is more important, and the children are not important. But doing so will promote children's sensory imbalance. In fact, children playing with water is a good sensory game and an effective way to exercise their sense of touch. The magical effect of this natural sensory toy is more effective than all kinds of tactile sensory toys invented by people.
Open Baidu APP to watch high-definition pictures.
02
The ceiling is more important.
Just two days ago, an online mother asked which sensory toy to buy to train the child's vestibule in the Taobao shop of our sensory center. I recommended a swing to train the child's vestibule, and explained to her: "Because vestibule training is to change the child's body in speed, rotation and spatial position, playing swing is the best choice." After listening, she asked how to install our sensory swing. I told her to install an expansion screw ring on the ceiling at home to hang the swing, and I also explained to her, "Because only the expansion screw ring is placed in the middle of the ceiling to hang the swing, so that the swing can swing and rotate greatly, thus effectively stimulating the children's vestibular sense, which is the key point of playing swing games."
After listening to what I said, it took her a while to reply to me, but her reply surprised me a little. She said, "My husband said it was ugly to install an expansion screw on the ceiling, and he didn't agree to install it on the ceiling." So this is the end of our conversation.
Obviously, her husband thinks that the beauty of the ceiling is more important than the healthy growth of children. In fact, many places in the family can provide opportunities to train children's sense of unity. For example, letting children jump on the bed or sofa can train their vestibular sense and proprioception well, but many parents think that bed and sofa are more important. ......
03
Face is more important.
I have met many parents who often sacrifice their children's health and happiness for their own face in the eyes of others.
I know a family that gave birth to 10 daughters in order to have a son, but it didn't work out. What is even more ridiculous is that 10' s daughter gave eight others. The reason is self-evident, that is, there must be a son to carry on the family line. Everyone else has a son, and so must our family. But can the eight daughters who were sent away grow up happily without their parents?
A friend told me that she had a painful and unforgettable memory when she was a child. She said that her parents asked her to learn piano. At first, she liked it, but later she hated it. First, because the piano teacher was too strict, she scolded her and even physically punished her, forcing her to persist in practicing for how long before leaving, which made her psychologically disgusted with the piano and the teacher. Second, because she didn't want to learn piano any more, her parents forced her to continue learning and said no.
Her parents think that money is more important when the tuition is paid, and it doesn't matter whether the child is happy or not. In addition, when parents talk about how well their children play the piano and how many certificates they have obtained in front of outsiders, they can add a lot of aura to his face.
There are also many parents who spoil their children's preschool time in order to save face. They send their children to various reading classes, calligraphy classes, English classes and music classes for so-called interest cultivation. There is a hypocritical starting point, that is, the versatile performance of their children. They talk about how excellent and dignified their children are in front of others. There are also many parents who often let their children perform recitation, music and calligraphy in front of acquaintances, which is even more proud. As everyone knows, for the sake of parents' face, children have lost many opportunities to play with their peers and parents. For preschool children, most games played with peers and parents can be regarded as sensory games, which is very necessary for the development of their sensory ability.
04
Making money and socializing are more important.
Now China's father has almost become a vacuum father and a money-making machine. They are always busy with work and socializing, and there are countless fathers without children and fathers without children, not to mention deliberately playing games with their children. These dads go out early and come back late every day, and there are few opportunities to eat at home. Many of them still work in different places. Obviously, they think that making money through entertainment is more important than the healthy growth of children. These dads, because they rarely interact with their children to play sensory integration games, also planted seeds for their children's sensory integration disorder, and also laid a bad legacy for their children to suffer from various physical and mental diseases in the future.
05
No trouble is more important.
Some parents have a high income and can do a lot of things with money in their hearts. The idea that money can make the mare go is deeply rooted in their bones, so they use money to buy all kinds of conveniences, and all kinds of troubles can be avoided with money, as well as raising children.
After the child was born, they used money to hire a nanny to take care of the child. Before children go to preschool, they send them to early education centers, various interest classes and various learning classes. When children arrive at primary and secondary schools, they use money to send their children to famous schools, ask famous teachers to give them extra lessons, and even use money to send their children abroad to study. When children come to talk about marriage, they use money to give their children a blind date and get married. In short, they cultivate children with all kinds of care, interaction and upbringing.
When these troubled parents solved all the troubles of raising their children with money, in fact, their children's ability did not increase, their hearts and spiritual worlds were not enriched, and their lives were not happy. Lack of parents' due care and interaction, especially the lack of parents' company to play together, can easily lead to children's sensory imbalance. When the sensory imbalance is not corrected for a long time, children will have various problems in their study and life, leading to various incompetent States, and their inner world will become empty and lonely, which will easily lead to various psychological problems such as inferiority, violence, timidity, autism and depression.
06
Leisure is more important.
A parent complained to me that children have been clinging to her recently, and children follow her wherever she goes. She gets up at night and goes to the living room to get something, and so does he. His mother goes to the bathroom, and she is inseparable. The mother said impatiently that the child's behavior annoyed her and she didn't have any personal time. I think she has the same psychology as some dads. She would rather indulge in online games, mobile phones and TV every day, and put the children aside, and the children are impatient to disturb him.
She asked me if the child's sensory integration disorder led to such behavior. Later, I gave the child a sensory integration assessment analysis, but from the various indicators, the child's sensory integration is no problem.
So I told her that the child's particularly clingy behavior now reflects that the child's heart is not full. Because of the lack of parents' companionship, children desperately seek companionship. Although my mother is around every day, I really have little time to sit on the floor and play games with my children. Dad hardly plays with his children, which aggravates the children's extreme need for companionship.
There are many similar parents. They don't meet their children's psychological needs and don't understand their inner world. Raising children has become taking care of them. As long as children are in front of them, they are not hungry, that is, they are raising children. They just want to leave more private time for themselves, but this is far from the essence of parenting. Whether a child can grow up healthily and happily, that is, the child's happiness index, is determined by whether the child's inner world and spiritual world are happy and full.
Son, because you are not the most important, you are prone to sensory imbalance.
Son, because you are not the most important, you won't be so good.
Son, because you are not the most important, you will be unhappy.
Son, because you are not the most important, it is normal for you to disappoint your parents.
Son, because you are not the most important, it is normal for you to have too many disappointments in your life.
Children, because you are not the most important, I hope your parents can realize that you are the most important and do it.