With the growth of age, many colleagues and friends around me have babies.

Some mothers hurried back to work after maternity leave, leaving their babies to their parents or in-laws to take care of and continue to fight in the front line of work. They are very model workers and admire you!

A few mothers stay at home and become full-time mothers. They don't have to rush to the bus and subway every day, and they don't have to bear the pressure of making money to support their families. They just need to take care of their children. Envy! !

But sometimes, the truth is not what I think. For some people, going to work is the most legitimate reason to avoid the hard work of raising a baby.

I have a friend who went back to work after giving birth and was not in a hurry to leave after work. Like his friends, he didn't come back until seven or eight.

At first, I admired her. I think she has a strong passion for her work, and I feel sorry for her. It must be hard for a mother to work so much and spend so little time with her children.

But it didn't take me long to learn that because of different positions, she can finish her work in half a day, but when she can get off work on time, she can stay in the company, not working overtime, but Taobao, watching dramas and reading gossip news.

Sometimes she will complain to me that the baby is spoiled by her mother-in-law, timid, crying, hitting people and often getting sick.

After several times, I couldn't help telling her: You can go home and take care of the baby yourself. It is better to take care of yourself than to take care of the elderly.

She hesitated for a moment and said that it was tiring and annoying to take care of the children, but it was easier to go to work.

Although my salary is not much, it is enough to buy clothes and cosmetics for myself. I don't want to go home and be a yellow-faced woman.

If I really want to go back to take care of the children, my mother-in-law will look down on me and think that I don't work and have no income, pointing fingers at her son.

two

My colleague's remarks show three ideas.

1. I am tired of taking care of my children and want to escape the hardships of taking care of my children.

In this world, there are some pains to eat. For example, the hard work when studying, the hard work when practicing in the unit, and the hard work of raising children.

As the old saying goes, you look old at three years old. In the modern scientific concept of parenting, there is another saying that 0~3 years old is the most critical growth period for a baby.

Parents who are a little more reliable will know that there are many sensitive periods in the baby's growth process, such as language sensitive period, reading sensitive period, action sensitive period, subtle things sensitive period and so on.

The sensitive period is fleeting. If parents don't notice the baby's sensitivity to something, don't have good guidance, or even hinder the baby's self-development, then it will be very difficult or difficult to make up for it later.

It is not worth the loss to escape the hard work of taking care of children and miss the first three years of their growth.

I am afraid that taking care of my children full-time will sacrifice my quality of life, and I am afraid that I will become a yellow-faced woman.

Every mother will have this kind of worry, but will taking care of her children full-time sacrifice the quality of life and become a yellow-faced woman?

Those star hot moms are still hot and charming after giving birth.

Mothers will say that female stars have a lot of money to hire nannies, don't have to take care of their own babies, and have personal trainers. Of course, they can keep healthy. Ordinary people can't afford that money.

Do you have to spend money to keep your figure and temperament? You can keep fit without spending money on your baby.

There is a fitness inspirational article in the circle of friends, which introduces an ordinary Korean mother who takes care of her baby full-time, finds time to lose weight and shape according to local conditions at home, and completes the gorgeous transformation from 65KG to 45KG.

Compared with the photos of successful weight loss after delivery, men were shocked, women were shocked, and immediately became an example for countless mothers to learn.

She didn't spend money on going to the gym. What she spent was her own strength and determination, and a strong sense of self-management.

3. The influence and incomprehension of family members' old ideas.

The old people's concept of parenting is very different from ours.

Knowing that the old man can't take care of the baby, but throwing the baby to the old man because he is afraid of hard work is as stupid as looking at a big pit in front of him and falling into it while walking, but praying blindfolded that he can walk by the pit.

Calling parents-in-law to take care of the baby has disrupted the normal life of the elderly and given them the most difficult task. They are also very hard, and naturally they will treat their children in some simple and rude ways.

For example, children learn to eat by themselves, and the old people think that children eat slowly and feed them, which leads to children eating badly and have to chase after them all the way.

For example, when a child tries to do some simple housework, the old man is afraid that the child can't do it well or break the cups and plates at home and won't let the child do it himself, so the child is no longer interested in housework and becomes a "lazy child".

The dolls are their own, not others'. Giving birth to a child is an instinct, not for parents, nor simply for carrying on the family line.

If the mother makes up her mind to take care of the baby and doesn't ask the elderly for help, most family conflicts and parenting conflicts can be avoided, and the mother herself can grow up quickly.

As for worrying about being looked down upon by the elderly because they don't go to work, this is purely redundant.

If you don't disturb the elderly to take care of their children, you won't disturb their normal life and increase their hard work. What reason do they have to blame you for not going to work? Unless you want the elderly to take care of the children and you don't want to go to work.

There is a price for the elderly to take care of their children, which is equivalent to hiring a nanny. Of course, you have to pay for this money yourself.

three

I was deeply moved by my father's words on the title page of Reading for Love.

Your time and dedication

Is the best gift for him (them)

-Jim Brozi (Alice's father)

This gift is so precious that some mothers really give it to their children.

One of my high school classmates resolutely resigned and stayed at home as a full-time mother after the baby was born. Without the help of the elderly, it is much more difficult to cope with the baby's eating, drinking, sleeping and all kinds of emergencies alone like a war every day than to go to work.

Students are not afraid of hard work. She knows not only to raise children's bodies, but also to raise their souls.

When she was pregnant with a baby, she taught herself to be a baby nurse, actively studied scientific parenting knowledge, and began parent-child reading when the baby was 8 months old.

She has always believed that it is right to be raised by the mother when the baby is 0-3 years old, and has been trying to put scientific parenting into practice.

Her efforts and efforts were not in vain.

When the baby 16 months old, he can eat by himself. He is not picky about food, does not run around, and does not need adults to chase after him.

The baby has developed a good habit of reading picture books, reading several picture books every day, and even reminding her mother to accompany her to read stories.

The baby has also developed a good habit of doing things by himself. The books he has read and the toys he has played will be packed and put in a fixed place, and his mother doesn't need to clean them up.

As long as the weather permits, students will take their babies hiking in the park twice a week. Little people under the age of three can walk 10,000 steps a day. They are healthy and seldom get sick.

Baby has a positive and sunny personality, likes to try new things, is curious and practical.

She is willing to share her toys and food in the kindergarten class, which is very popular with teachers and children.

Kindergarten is coming, so students don't have to worry that their children can't adapt to the new collective life.

How worry-free this baby is!

My classmate, like that Korean mother, attaches great importance to self-management, and her appearance and figure are almost the same as those of her girlhood.

Her family is a typical virtuous circle of loving mother, loving father and loving baby.

I want to be such a full-time mother!

It can be seen that being a full-time mother is not as terrible as I thought. With the courage to take responsibility and proper methods, children will grow into carefree "angel babies".

Avoiding responsibility, regardless of asking, children will become troubled "devil babies."

four

The Bible says:

Having children is a blessing from God, and children are a gift from God.

Raising children is a mother's mission. Understanding and embracing this mission will enable us to display our best inner qualities and gain a brand-new self-awareness and personal growth. Many mothers have also gained new careers by raising their children wholeheartedly.

I don't force all mothers to go home and be full-time mothers. Every family is different.

I hope that mothers can devote themselves to their children's growth and self-growth whether they are full-time or not.

Temporary relaxation can't bring us good harvest, and it is likely to bring visible and terrible consequences.

The more difficult things are, the more we must persist. It is the responsibility of every mother to break the comfort zone for her children.