"Marriage is slow, divorce is fast."
Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt divorced. They are not separated, not incompatible, but divorced because of serious differences in the way they educate their children. According to foreign media, Julie asked for custody of six children, thinking that Pete might drink too much marijuana and have anger management problems, which would endanger the children. We in China always say that I won't divorce you for the sake of children. And Julie is, for the sake of the baby, so I want to divorce you. I think it's good.
We always think that divorce will hurt children, but it is not. It is the problem parents who will hurt the children, and it has little to do with divorce. Some couples maintain the so-called family integrity, but in fact, like enemies every day, parents who always greet each other curse each other's whole family, which brings a strong psychological shadow to their children. Still less? On the contrary, in some single-parent families, even if the husband and wife are separated, they give their children a lot of love and a lot of security, so that they can grow up healthily and in the sunshine.
I know a very cheerful child. His name is Tony, and he is a kindergarten classmate of Tang Wei. He has a round face and small eyes, and he loves to laugh. His smile is a bit like the super cute Republic of China. When Tang Wei was 3 years old, they had activities in kindergarten, and both parents would go. At that time, several children were playing games on the playground, accompanied by their mothers. Every child is inseparable from his mother. His mother walked away and cried for her. Tony, on the other hand, is very calm when playing with water alone. Tang Wei went over and asked him, where is your mother? Pointing to the distance, he said that my mother was on the phone, and she said she would be back in 10 minutes. Then he continued to have fun. Later, when his mother came over, he played games with her. Both mother and son are playing crazy. I thought at that time that my parents must love such a safe child very much. Because Tang Wei and Tony both like airplanes, our two families made an appointment to go to Zhuhai to watch the air show. When I talked to Tony's mother, I realized that she and Tony's father divorced two years ago.
Tony's mother said that her parents had bad feelings since she was very young. Her father habitually cheated on her, and her mother was heartbroken and humiliated, but she didn't want to divorce because she felt that the home she had worked so hard to build could not be given away to others in vain. So for many years, the situation in her family was that her father continued to cheat and her mother continued to complain. She was caught between two people and was in a dilemma. All three of them were tortured. Her mother always said to her, "Look, if it weren't for you, your father and I would have divorced." . The implication is that she has suffered so much for her children and suffered so much injustice. How great and tolerant she is. But being reasonable has nothing to do with children. You chose each other, you chose to get married, you chose to have children, and the children didn't force you. Why do you want to force the pot of failed marriage on your child? But her mother said so much that she felt that she was a wrong existence, which was particularly painful. She always thought that "if she didn't have herself, her mother might be happy", so she committed suicide in middle school. Later, she went to college, went abroad, read a lot of books and made many positive friends. Her mentality is much better. Therefore, she doesn't want to follow her mother's old path.
When she got married, she found that her husband was cheating on her. After her husband's showdown, she realized that this was not the first time he cheated. She decided to divorce without hesitation. Even if the child is only 1 year old. At that time, her mother advised her that any man should just turn a blind eye without causing trouble, and make do with it for the sake of the children. Who hasn't? She wants to say that I can't just do it for the sake of the children. I don't want to spend my life on a scum man like you. Her mother was very sad and said, your husband is a co-pilot now and makes a lot of money. When I became a captain, I heard that my annual salary could be millions. A divorce is cheaper for others! She was very angry and said, no matter how much money he earns, a man who has cheated repeatedly is worthless to me, and whoever loves him will take it. Her mother threw out a common saying from China, "Look at this child, can you stand it? He has no father at such a young age. " She can't agree. Why can't a child have a father? His father is not dead.
If the father loves his children, he will still love them after the divorce. If he doesn't love children and is divorced, he will still ignore them. In China, are there still few invisible fathers in the family, regardless of children? For one thing, she did not expose her mother. In fact, her mother refused to divorce, not because her mother was not independent economically and spiritually at that time, and she could not live alone after the divorce! She doesn't want this. She thinks that those who say that children are too young to divorce are not because they are too fragile, but because they are too fragile and not strong inside. She thought it over. What children need most is a sense of spiritual security and material satisfaction. If she can give these two things, then she can afford the marriage. She really did it. The first thing she did was to clear her mind. Because she knows that for children, the mother's emotions are the most important. Mom is the most important person to a child and the whole world to her. The barometer of the world is on her face. What food to eat, what clothes to wear and what early education classes to attend are not as important as mom's good mood.