June fireside blacksmith,

Fishermen in the twelfth lunar month,

Say whatever you want,

Shout whatever you sell!

Take this month for example. How about the blacksmith? He has to work, too, "June fireside blacksmith"! "Fishermen on the river in the twelfth lunar month", how cold it is in the twelfth lunar month, fishermen on the river have to sleep in the middle of the night to catch fish! Let's talk about cross talk again. Stand here and say, always hold a fan, fan it in summer and hold it in winter! Why do you always carry it? You have scratches on your hands! Telling stories is inseparable from this fan. Holding it is everything. Speaking of writing letters, saying that books are pens and repairing books are pens; Speaking of fighting there, there are knives, guns, swords, halberds, axes, cymbals, hooks and forks.

The same fan, different fan methods, who is divided into: "bra, martial liver, monk collar, media shoulder." I don't believe you. You see, this fan is a scholar's chest, a martial arts fan's belly, and a monk's big collar. It is called "a bra full of martial arts". There is an old pedant who is studying. This fan is half closed and half fanned, and the corridor walks with square steps. Can't live without "what is it?" If you talk to someone, turn off the fan first.

"Oh, long time no see."

Then: "Where are you going?"

"I met a few poetry friends and talked about poetry." Give a dozen fans and a few slaps.

"This fan of yours is really nice. I must learn it and pay tribute to it. "

This one quickly handed over and bowed. It is disrespectful to reach for it. You have to pick it up with both hands. The man took it and read the next paragraph first:

"Good, good, Liu Chunlin, top. This bone is really safe! "

You're happier praising his fans than inviting him to dinner, and you're afraid of idiots coming:

"Let me see your fan," he took it and slammed it. "Not bad!"

He is so distressed that he can vomit blood! -"Bra".

"Wudu", look at the martial arts practitioners, fanning their bellies. There was a sumo camp in Beijing when I was a child. Sumo is wrestling. You see, they are all straight arms, wearing small clothes, camel hand ropes and one-headed boots. Fans are all red-faced mulberry paper, and there are no pictures. Even if there is a painting, it is still "five ghosts catch Liu." Meeting is not a "tea soup pot". "Good for you!" Let me compare it with that man: this is the pot body (referring to one's own body), this is the spout (referring to the right hand) and this is the pot handle (referring to the left hand with a fork at the waist). When they meet, they say, "Hello!" Isn't this a "bowl"?

"It's so hot today!"

"Yes!"

"Have you practiced?"

"Didn't practice, the whole body stiff panic! This day is too hot! " A belly. -"Wudu".

"Monk Taoist collar"-an old fan collar of a monk. They call it chanting Buddha, and monks see monks:

"Oh, brother, where are you going?" As he spoke, he fanned himself in his big collar.

"I didn't believe in Buddhism these days. I picked up three things yesterday. I went and came back early! "

"Why?"

"The master is not dead!"

If you are not dead, what are you doing?

"bra, belly, monk's collar", and "media shoulder"-the matchmaker fanned the shoulder. These people are all carrying feather fans, strung hundreds of doors and walking around. One shoulder:

"The old lady, have a meal? Has this gentleman spent his summer vacation? This gentleman is not young, is he? Have you decided? "

One build what did not build, chatting, chicken feather fans fanned their shoulders!

The matchmaker may say that the dead can turn over when they meet someone. Matchmaker's mouth, wow! Good hype! Zhang's parents and Li's family are short, and three monks have five eyes! Let you nod and smack! Not now, there's nothing to eat in this business! Now every place is looking for its own partner, and the matchmaker is at a loss. Old age is an arranged marriage, paying attention to "parents' orders and matchmakers' words"! Matchmaker, a bunch of people in the city, two mouths, then eat and drink: can you say it for nothing? When we came to Beijing, it was the custom to send four pairs of pig legs and four pairs of lamb legs. How embarrassing! How beautiful it is to cool the cooked mutton the next day! Eating matchmakers is all fat! Why thank the leg of pig and leg of lamb? There is a reason. Wow, the matchmaker said that his legs were thin when he ran back and forth when he got married. Thanks to this pig leg and lamb leg, let him eat this leg to mend her leg.

When you are a matchmaker, you can gain weight for more than ten months a year! Almost more than a month. Which month? From the beginning of the twelfth month to the sixteenth day of the first month, it doesn't matter! Why? In the old society, there was a saying: "If you don't marry, you won't be settled." So you've been hungry for more than a month without a matchmaker? Don't! I have gained weight for over a month. How many daughters-in-law are there at home? Wow, how many daughters are there? That matchmaker has been longing for a new season for more than a month. How come? This matchmaker, so a dollar to buy things. What to buy? Buy a red ribbon, cut it into pieces, and buy some peanuts, chestnuts and dates. She will come out after the 23rd of the twelfth lunar month until the 16th of the first month. Where are you going? Go anywhere! Wear a new blue cloth jacket, but there is no new blue cloth jacket. Wash old ones. Whether you recognize it or not, go to someone's yard, pull the door, go indoors, grab a red ribbon, peanuts, dates and chestnuts and sprinkle them on the kang! What are you doing? Look for Qing Ji! Peanuts, dates and chestnuts look good together! Jujube and chestnut are called "early Gigi Lai", so it is good to raise a son early! Where are the peanuts? Even better, sons miss girls and girls miss boys. She threw away all the peanuts, dates and chestnuts. Flowers are raw, girls and boys are raised. When she came in, she sang:

"Give you a chestnut, give you a jujube, and have a big fat child next year!" Sprinkle such a handful of peanuts, dates and chestnuts on the kang after singing!

As soon as you enter the door, look, wow! The man is not at home, just a young woman. She looks at the room: red kang enclosure, red curtains, come on, grab! Newly married. This wife has been married for less than half a year, and the Chinese New Year is coming at the end of the twelfth lunar month! How nice it would be to have a big baby next year if you throw such a kang of dates, chestnuts and peanuts! Give me two foreign currencies. Throw a handful of worthless dough into the bag. It was two yuan a bag of noodles! If you want to compete again, let's have another one or three. This room comes out and that room goes in. There are several families in a compound, and any one of them makes money! When you come out of this house and enter that house, you will also "give you chestnuts to eat dates and have a big fat baby next year." The lady gave the matchmaker a mouth and finally kicked it out! What's going on here? This lady is a widow! Damn, what bad luck! Clever mouth, sometimes it looks wrong!

There's nothing wrong with being a matchmaker. How could she lie? Wow! Who does she want to bribe? Wow, help who cheat! How do I know? I have a family neighborhood-everything special happens in our neighborhood-there is a matchmaker in our neighborhood, whose surname is sour plum, and those two films are like small knives! We, uh, I have a landlord, and her family is quite rich. The old lady is in her sixties. She has no son and only one daughter. The girl is twenty-one years old. Who is this girl going to marry? This attribute will follow! I've been dating this girl since I was a teenager, and no one wanted her until I was 2 1 year old. Why? This girl has a disability. What disability? Offset seam-Beijing is called gap, and the south is called flower mouth. This girl has a gaping nose and a gaping mouth, even her gums are gaping, reaching to the end! That's not counting, double, one on each side! The girl put her hand under her nose. You see, it takes 180 talents. When this hand was raised, you threw up right after dinner! The old lady loves the girl, so she is a master. She is quite old and good-looking, but there is something wrong with her. Let the matchmaker tell me it's time to stop. Wow, thanks to the matchmaker for hearing that four rooms and one living room, 5,000 yuan is now foreign. This matchmaker is greedy for this, and the whole city is talking about it. He shook his head at everyone, but he didn't succeed after talking for more than half a day! Later, I met a young man who also entrusted the matchmaker to hold the wedding, saying that when it was finished, there was a heavy thank you. This guy wants beautiful people, not disabled people. This guy has a disability-no nose, and there is a big hole here. Both sides have this condition: there are no disabled people at this end and no non-disabled people at this end. But both heads are disabled, alas! The matchmaker also called! Otherwise, how can we call the matchmaker "matchmaking mountain"-she can pinch two mountains together! The ability to move mountains and pour seas! She really described these two documents. In fact, she must tell all about her mouth and nose, but she can't hide it. How can I put it? Tell that person:

"Uncle, this marriage is over, you don't have to do anything for the rest of your life. The grandmother and the old lady you married are the only girls. You can enjoy this property tomorrow, and you can deposit as much money as possible in the bank. Needless to say, you can't spend your whole life on this girl's savings! "

The young man speaks without a nose, and there is this smell:

"I tell you, I don't love her six golden mountains. Although I don't have a nose, this girl has a problem. Don't tell me everything! "

"Do you want to, I look good. Don't complain in the future? There is nothing wrong with this girl except her bad mouth! "

What does this young man think? Open your mouth! Bad mouth is funny.

"Oh, that doesn't matter! What's wrong is not a problem, slowly persuade her! "

How to persuade? This question is not easy to persuade!

The boss said it was done. Talk to the boss.

"The old lady, run for more than half a year this is quite! This young man is one year older than your lady, and he has a good figure and looks everywhere. If you don't get married again, your young lady will never get married in this life! "

The old lady said, "But don't hide it. Our girl is disabled. I won't give this man any disability. Don't hide it. Don't hide it! "

She still wants to say that she has no nose in her head:

"Old lady, don't say you still thank me for my money and house; This is a great event in your young lady's life. I can't be wicked If you don't spend money, I can't do that wicked thing. Young man, everything is fine, but there is nothing at the moment! "

I told you, no nose! "Nothing for a while", nothing for a while means no nose! The old lady wants to turn left, thinking that she has no property!

"That's no problem. There is nothing to be afraid of at present. I will always accompany you. Besides, I have to live in the future! "

Why would he have it? No, wow!

"I have money here, I will make it up."

Did you make up for it? What will you make up for it? You didn't! Dig yours out and put it in his house? Not suitable!

I'm ready! It's time to stop, even worse! How come? Look at each other. Damn it! Don't blow this picture! The matchmaker has a high idea. She told this man:

"You don't like each other. The first door of my hometown can't get out, and the second door can't get out; Look at the photos. I'll bring them to you. It is appropriate for you to leave the photo, but it is not appropriate to return it to others. Don't delay other people's affairs. If you marry me in the future, it won't be my son. I will lie to you. You can sue me in court! "

The boss is also like this:

"People are not local, in other provinces! I am very busy, so I can't ask for leave. If I can't get there, I will delay my work. Look at the photos! "

Look at the photos! Both heads are disabled. How can I take this photo? Photos can't stop the five senses! But according to the bust, bust is according to the upper body, not the lower body! Oh, this matchmaker's idea is too high! Men take pictures, women take pictures, she takes pictures with her, and she plays with them when she arrives. Don't people have noses? He wants a garden-a distant view and a close view. There is a flowerpot on the rockery, and there are peony flowers in the flowerpot. This size is not as good as that of the young man. Let him stand next to the flowerpot and smell the flowers with that flower head. Just like seeing peony in the garden, Xiang! When he smells it, takes it and reads it, it will be bad to come back! Don't you have a nose? Without a nose, isn't this flower covered Come on, it's cute. Woman, what if there is a gap? She told her to call? Stand here and put the earphone here for a while, it will block it! What a wicked matchmaker!

It is easy to be deceived to say that this is a photo. It's probably ok to look face to face! Who said that? Listen to the matchmaker. Yes, it's worse to be cheated! This is also the matter of sour plum-sour plum has done a lot of wicked things in her life!

This file is relatively fresh! It is also that both sides have disabilities, those with disabilities do not want to marry, those with disabilities do not marry, or look at each other. She was stunned. What kind of disability is a man? This man is lame! Although he is limping, he wants to say that he is beautiful and has something wrong. Where is that woman? This woman has a good eye! See what you want to do, and be beautiful! Well, she said both sides! When I say "sail", I mean "sail", which is the last stage. How about this stage? That's settled: girl, stand at the door and gossip with the matchmaker, as if to send someone off on the way, stay here and say a few words; When he came to the woman's door, the man didn't know her. Look who's standing with the matchmaker. This woman doesn't know this man. She whispered to the matchmaker:

"Look, come on, import, what clothes to wear, what hat to wear, see if it works, and if it doesn't, it will succeed."

The man said: she lived in vain, she can't do it! Men beat women at the door, cripple! Women look down; The woman is watching at the door, hanging a line, and the man despises it. Neither side wants to, so blow it!

The matchmaker's idea is high! She let the man ride a horse. Isn't that man lame? He is riding a horse! With a whip in his hand, he slammed the door and saw who the matchmaker was standing with:

"Well, all right!"

Woman, it's at the door. Wow, open a door, close a door, so that the door can cover a little face, and this problem is completely blocked!

It's time to stop! Let go. In old age, let go, celebrate and never meet again; Nothing happened. When worshipping heaven and earth, the children are covered with hijab, and the bride can't see that he is lame, and the groom can't see that the bride is eyes. Start playing as soon as you enter the bridal chamber! How come? After entering the bridal chamber, take off the hijab! The groom walked down the aisle, "Yo!" Both of them got a fright:

"Ah! Why are you lame? What's wrong with you lying? I wasn't lame when I took the photo. Why am I lame now? Tell the truth! "

The man will explain-the matchmaker gave it to him early;

"Yes, don't be lame! I am riding a horse. I just came out of your alley when the rickshaw was firing loudly. The horse was stunned. I ran more than ten miles and fell, and my leg was lame! Don't be lame yet, this leg is lame! What happened to your eyes? Tell the truth! "

How can a woman hide and say:

"Yes, I heard that you fell lame, and I cried my eyes out in such a hurry!"

What a coincidence!

What a coincidence! The matchmaker's purse is full!