Parental growth

0 1 parenting is breathing, not holding a long breath.

Life is a marathon. It wasn't until I ran the 1 th marathon in my life that I realized that running a marathon was not always at a constant speed, but a little faster than usual when I was in a good state, and then I adjusted it and continued my next sprint. The same is true of parenting. You must learn to find the rhythm that suits you, so that you can go further and go more smoothly.

Life has three growths: the first growth is that I find myself not the center of the world; The second growth is when you find that no matter how hard you try, you can't change things; The third growth is the time when you are willing to work hard for it even though you know that the outcome of things is uncontrollable.

Experience: Yes! Big J's articles always come to my mind easily. After Bao Xiao was born, I also tend to be anxious. I can't wait to occupy Bao Xiao's time with education all the time, but I have to grow up by myself, so for a while I read English every day as an early education. Later, this state ended, because I started working and didn't have much time and energy to take care of Bao Xiao. Divided into two extremes. Self-growth is also the source of my anxiety. I feel that I have to learn everything, but nothing I do every day can be effective. Because of a serious lack of energy, I often anticlimactic, and then clap my chest and regret it. Bao Xiao's education was completely shelved, and he felt guilty that he was not a good mother.

I just think sprint can pursue speed with sprint mentality, but how can children grow up overnight? Now slowly let go of yourself, reduce unnecessary needs and desires, explore the skills and interests you really care about, and try to finish them one by one, such as reading and taking notes. I always believe that there is always a way to achieve what I really want to do.

Now education in Bao Xiao is also relaxed. I was an assistant when she was growing up. As long as I try my best to provide a good enough environment, the rest is up to her.

Be a "real" rather than a "standard" parent.

In this section, through a story insisted by the adopted son of a reader's mother, combined with the handling methods when he got along with little D, Big J expounded a point: truth is more important than standard!

Parents are not gods, emotions will exist, and parenting standards cannot be fully implemented. This requires a clear understanding of your true feelings. You can directly say to your child: Mom loves you very much, but mom is really tired now. Can you give her a rest and play by herself?

I tried this method. 19-month-old daughter seems to really understand. Playing with building blocks quietly, I really have the urge to cry.

Therefore, I often reflect on my way of dealing with people, gradually accept my imperfect self, and no longer force myself to act according to the standards, but learn to think about the background stipulated by the standards and my threshold expectations.

We don't need so much "focus" on raising children.

This section discusses the problem of anxiety, telling that after reading other parenting articles or Niu Er's experience, she will feel anxious about her education for her children. Finally, Big J gave up the concept of "catching all the dishes in the basket". When he thought about what "dishes" he wanted to cook, he needed to choose the ingredients he needed: which ones must be cooked? What can I do properly when I still have energy? What can I not do first?

Then by specifying some small goals and achieving them one by one, I developed the habit of persistence and gained a lot of growth. I have a deep understanding of this, such as the habit of reciting words early. Although I am lazy sometimes, I just read the words once, but now I can basically recognize the familiar words. I also insist on writing in Japanese. I obviously feel that my expression and narration are smoother than before, and I don't want to write anything hard, because the small goal is to write, not how good the article is. It's important to form a habit first.

Golden sentence: From "list" parenting to "goal-oriented" parenting, change a little every day, change the mode of self-dialogue, and take positive thinking as the guidance.

Everyone is very anxious. We don't need to overcome anxiety, but we should learn how to get along with it. Life is a process of constantly achieving a relative balance between satisfaction and enterprising.