The happiest thing in life is that sweetness is mixed with sadness, and now I think so. I remember when I first entered high school, my heart was full of novelty and excitement. The loneliness and indulgence of a long vacation made it difficult for me to return to the crazy study state before the middle school entrance examination, and I didn't understand that the sadness of growing up had begun to follow me ... When I was a freshman in high school, except for math, my grades remained at the forefront. I still soak in the library and go to the reading room every day. When I got home, I cooked dinner and watched TV with my brother. At that time, I watched the hit mobile Altman series, three-eyed boy, blue irrigation master, legend of the gods list ... I didn't seem to feel the pressure of the college entrance examination mentioned by the teacher at all. Later, I began to like "whirlwind boy" Jimmy Lin. Like all puzzles, I collected a lot of things about him: stickers, posters, wall charts. Listen to his songs and watch all the movies and TV series he starred in, such as "Beauty" which was being broadcast at that time. I especially like his "Jiang Xiaoyu", and I fantasize that one day there will be a boy who loves me without confession, but because the person I like is not him, he runs sadly on the muddy road in rainy days, wiping his tears while watching Aquilaria sinensis, whirlwind boy, school bully and so on. There are many wall charts and posters of him in the house. I listen to his album every day, and even my 5-year-old brother next door can hum a few of his songs casually. I also watched his racing, but not much. What I like most is his smile, brightness, sunshine and gratitude for everything in the world. If I am in a bad mood, his smile is enough to make my depressed state of mind return to normal. There is such a pure smile in the world, what difficulties can't be borne? At that time, my mother understood my behavior very well and didn't ask much. I feel that she has always been at ease with me and that I have to handle my own affairs well. Although I often say that I am stupid. Mother's understanding doesn't mean brother is happy. So, when I watched all the TV dramas of Xiaozhi, he expressed unprecedented indignation! Because he was obsessed with Princess Pearl. It was broadcast at the same time as Two Girls. And because in my family, everyone listens to the boss, so he can only expect me to be merciful and not watch the drama "Grand Prix". But this is almost impossible, because his writing speed is always a few beats slower than mine ... the initiative is always in my hands. But I am lazy and don't like washing clothes. I usually pile up a lot of dirty clothes, so I start washing them for a long time. In order to wear clean clothes conveniently, I made a deal with my brother. He helped me wash clothes and I gave up watching TV. Helpless, under my "oppression", my brother had to give in. I also easily wore clean clothes for a long time. My brother's efforts now are probably the result of my efforts at that time. Time passed for a long time, and finally, the mid-term exam of senior one was over. With my casual attitude, I'm sure I won't do well in the exam, I think. I didn't expect that except for more than 60 in mathematics, the rest were not bad. Even my composition won the third prize in the national competition. Who knows those "friends" already know what "exploitation" means. Take me out for a meal. I ate so much that I was so distressed that I saved money and bought Jimmy's new album! But now it's over. Looking back on the excitement and happiness at that time, there is still happiness spreading ... I fell in love with a boy who is a bit like Lu Yi in my first year of high school. In a moment of excitement, I told my sister everything. As a result, before I could brew a "spark of happiness", she told her mother lightly in front of me! I was ashamed at that time! Awkward! Fortunately, my mother just smiled and asked me if I was the son of the family. At that time, I wished I couldn't enter the earth and disappear in time ... The lesson I learned from this incident is that many things you think are very important are safest only if you keep them in your heart, because only you will not betray yourself. Slowly, I began to concentrate on my studies. Listen carefully in class, but the homework is always put off until the last minute and handed in after barely finishing it. Hehe, fortunately, I am a genius, so I won't be scolded by the teacher every day. My sister and brother are very envious of me. On weekends, I go to the desert to bask in the sun and play poker with some children of different sizes, or go to the watermelon field to pick watermelons to eat. When you are in a good mood, pick some wild flowers and camel thorns with different shapes as specimens. I also want to swim in the lake deeper in the desert, play all kinds of games, competitions and sing songs ... This is something that can only be done in summer. Winter is boring. After the snow, everyone went to the sandbags and rowed down from the top of the sand dunes that were not very high with a simple "small sledge" to play. Or make a snowman or something. It's freezing outside. There seems to be nothing interesting except this. Higher. There have been many accidents. First, my brother stopped washing my clothes, because the "Princess Pearl" series has been broadcast. My threats and inducements have little effect. I have no choice but to buy it with money. But my brother became so proud that he didn't agree at all. Later, I saw a lot of blisters on my hands when I was washing clothes, and I looked miserable. In the end, I couldn't bear it, and reluctantly continued to be my "slave". As for me, I get something for nothing and go to school clean. Then I secretly loved Lu Yi and was told by an unknown traitor around me. As a result, I came home from school one day and was stopped by a little girl. Ask me, "You like small bases, don't you?" When I was excited, I almost said, "Good!" She immediately said, "He is my brother. I'm telling you, he has someone he likes. Leave him alone! " I know, this is mainly because the girl likes her brother, because "Lu Yi" is an only child and has no sister. I was angry. Is it wrong to like someone? I'm not pestering him to do anything! I said, hey, I don't like him at all! Get out of the way, I said rudely, and then I left proudly ... What was left was her surprise and my sadness ... Later, I really stopped secretly loving him. I fell in love with another tall, straight, fair-skinned and angular classmate. He has a good voice. He always walks around the campus with elegant steps, like an elf ... so, every time after class, I sit down in the campus flower bed and secretly look at the "handsome guy", including the relaxed boy. Personal brother. Being unable to tell me that I like him is nerve-racking, but it is definitely a great motivation for my study. My composition began to appear frequently in the school newspaper, just to let my little brother see and appreciate it. I'm a sophomore before I know it. The pressure of the college entrance examination finally gave me in. I hardly go to libraries, reading rooms and shops, and I don't find familiar friends to play with. I spent most of my time conquering book knowledge. Every time I take an exam, my weak math hits me hard! When I am depressed, I always think I am a loser. How to work the most and get the least? But looking up at Xiao Zhi's youthful clean and hearty smile, I suddenly woke up again, and then I tried to "win the revolution"! Finally, senior three is coming! My pressure is unprecedented. Because I am a teacher of two classes, the old class, I am responsible for any discipline, classroom atmosphere and trivial matters. Actually, I don't care anymore. Think about everyone. Who doesn't want to study? Who wants to watch others write and count and others recite endlessly and be indifferent? I'm so tired and stressed. Heart, tired. At that time, we were all like overworked cows, and it seemed that we couldn't keep going. We also know what "the last straw crushed the camel!" "Obviously, in our nervous, tired and red eyes, we will never get enough sleep. We are like guns ready to pull the trigger and wait to fire. So, I try to manage with a blind eye. Later, we began to study drama. The teacher asked me to preside over an open class. At the same time, our classmates will perform together. That time it was Romeo and Juliet. I still remember that we made a beautiful little sabre for Juliet to commit suicide. Red torch, night lighting; There are also some trees for Romeo's servants to stand under. Almost everyone in the class attended, and everyone was excited to make up. Act like colorful! It's really exciting to suddenly let a group of people with no performance experience perform this play under high pressure. Therefore, when reciting lines, I am particularly serious. I think the enthusiasm for the college entrance examination is nothing more than that, right? After the performance was well received, everyone's desire to perform was higher. Perhaps it was because there was little immediate success at that time. Regardless of fatigue, everyone ran to school to rehearse the program at noon. At noon in summer in Xinjiang, the sun is poisonous, and people who are not there can't understand it! The scripts of Teahouse, Thunderstorm and other books have been arranged. We are still unfinished, and we deeply regret it for the first time. Why are there so few things in this book? We came back and rehearsed the foreign drama again. Unfortunately, the teacher is tired. For our college entrance examination, she took martial law measures and ordered it to stop. Thus, the history of drama in our class ended here. After this incident, I lost confidence in the future and only felt that the front was slim! I told my mother more than once that I didn't want to go to class. I don't want to go to school, really, I'm so tired! I only rest for three hours every day, and the rest time is either spent on study or wasted by insomnia. I'm about to collapse! Mother looked at me with sad and anxious eyes. I really want to hear her say, then don't go, then don't go ... but she didn't say, she just took my hand and said, why don't you take a vacation and rest at home for a few days. I walked away disappointed. It's not mom. I still go to class, still very tired, insomnia, doing problems, tired of learning ... I believe my mother must be more sad than me when she saw my pain at that time. What can she do? If possible, she is willing to suffer for me. But she can't suffer for me and I don't want her to suffer. I spent many days in silence. I'm disappointed and desperate. I encourage myself and strive to improve myself. No matter how uncomfortable I am, I will persist! Because every night, my mother will get up and prepare something for me, and then go to sleep tired. One day, I skipped class and walked in a deserted street, looking around aimlessly. As usual, the people in the street are busy and carefree ... Life remains the same. I didn't know where to go, so I sneaked into the Internet cafe to surf the Internet, in fact, just to talk and relieve my depressed sadness. Nameless sadness, for learning, for growing loneliness or for compassion? I don't know. Later, I told my mother again. I really don't want to go to school. My mother touched my head, held my hand tightly and looked at me without saying anything. I almost cried, and I never lost my temper loudly again, and I never said anything stupid about not going to school. I believe I'm beginning to grow up. Later, I thought, this may be the reason why I can be strong until the end of the college entrance examination and the coming of the long vacation … Perhaps, life is like this, and I didn't know happiness until I walked a long way … for reference only.