Men are more addicted to physical greed, while women are lost in emotional greed.
Last time in the counselor's notes, I talked about men's physical greed and ignorance. This time, I will focus on women's emotional desires.
Almost all the women I know, or the women I have met-including you-are eager to live with themselves for a long time, and are openly or secretly looking for such a person: he (madly) longs for us, gives us enough attention, meets our needs at any time, appreciates us, never thinks we are "bad", we have nothing against him, and he will never want to break up with us.
But one day we will find that such a perfect player is hard to find, and we can only accept what we have. In other words, when only a few wishes are satisfied, we are very happy; Even if they are not satisfied, they "hang" each other, trying to transform him and play a game that changes the living, hoping to finally harvest an ideal perfect man.
But such a perfect man often exists only in dreams. It is not even the truest desire and need in our hearts, but an illusion formed by our parents, friends and acquaintances, books and movies, and our experiences and experiences.
Every woman has her own vision. She believes that only by finding this or at least finding a similar person will she be happy.
Scarlett, the heroine in Gone with the Wind, wakes up after a million robberies: it turns out that she doesn't love the Ashley she dreamed of in Seeds of Love.
She imagined him as a perfect statue, flawless, like a distant and noble myth; Imagine him as a hero, but in the end, I found that this is exactly what he lacks. He always dreams, dreams, and never has any practical judgment. She thought wearily, "I only love an idol I made up, an idol without life." I made a beautiful hazel suit, and then I fell in love with it. When Ashley rode on a horse, I saw that he was so handsome and different, so I dressed him in that suit. I refused to see what kind of person he really was, whether it fitted him or not. I've always liked that beautiful suit-not him. "
The greatness of the masterpiece lies in its ingenious and vivid description of the life dilemma and psychological activities that most of us can't express. Many times, a woman's greed just falls in love with the fantasy in her mind. She just needed someone to project her strong feelings, and he just appeared at that time and place.
Milan Kundera said that every woman yearns for the weight of a man. This desire can easily make women kidnapped by men and emotions. What every woman wants to get back is the weight of fireworks other than men and emotions, and the heart of life.
Last Thursday, I went to the west of the city to visit my admired teacher H: a beautiful woman who knows how to spread love and beauty to everyone around me. She carefully arranged a bright and warm residence with flowers and grass in the old residence allocated by her unit. In her spare time, she also helps her neighbors grow flowers and plants in the yard. There is a green school around her apartment, with flowers and flowers. She has been teaching for about 30 years. More than 3,000 students who have taught her regard her not only as a teacher, but also as a priest. Many years after graduation, they will still talk to her when they encounter troubles and difficulties.
She raised Ling in an unknown inner room. She has excellent academic performance and outstanding talents: writing, painting and drama performance are easy. She encourages her beautiful girl to fall in love, gives her courage when she hesitates, and gives her arms when she is frustrated.
In order to dispel the distress of life and keep in good condition, she often meditates for 3~4 hours. If I am fine, it will be sunny. The confusion and pain received from others can only be eliminated in a meditation mind.
She will also openly mention her divorce and remarriage, and talk about the disasters brought to her by men. More than 20 years ago, at her fresh and warm dining table, there was an intense past like the Count of Monte Cristo. The thrilling past is faintly visible behind the light language.
It turns out that she is not a female classmate without stories.
After experiencing greed and ignorance, I learned to give up. In other words, only after experiencing greed and ignorance can we embrace the joy of parting. So she will encourage Ling to experience love earlier.
Perhaps only by fully experiencing and seeing greed and the bitterness and bitterness it brings can we become peaceful and silent, no longer fight hysterically with life, no longer amplify our own pain, and no longer crave emotions so crazily.
There are very few sentient beings who have wisdom and reach parting directly. Only when they have experienced the eternal love, the entanglement of love and hate, the loss and disillusionment, and met many people and things that can be recalled, can they embrace the joy of parting and find the sincerity of life.
It is for the most beautiful and ordinary people.