So, where does their confidence come from?
Self-confidence comes from self-esteem. A person will be confident first, and then self-esteem will come from the respect of the outside world. I have been here for more than two years, and my deepest feeling is that parents and teachers here treat their children as adults, whether they are talking or playing.
A respected child is confident.
Canadian schools have always emphasized "encouraging education" and "respecting education", that is, they hope that children will establish a positive self-awareness and not use their own shortcomings to measure the advantages of others. Tell an episode, the son of a friend who lives abroad is inactive and timid. He is not very active in every outdoor activity in kindergarten. When the sports meeting was held at the end of September, his grades were obviously not good. Three-and-a-half-year-old children have strong self-esteem, drooping little heads and are very unhappy.
She wasn't there then. The following conversation took place after she took the children home:
Friend: Is today's sports meeting fun?
Son: Not funny (firm answer).
Friend: Why not?
Friend: Because I don't like playing ball, running and jumping around.
Friend: Oh (I just wanted to ask him something, but he was interrupted by his cheerful and high-pitched voice. )
Son: Mom, but I like painting. Among my classmates, I draw best. I am especially good at talking and telling stories. I can tell several stories. I can speak Chinese and English.
Seeing her son list himself so clearly, she was almost confused. At the moment, she didn't think about how to treat him. She just said, "Great, son, you are great!" "
Son: "yes, mom, that's what my teacher said." He said I was the best, the most special and the most powerful. "
The next day, when she went to kindergarten again, she specifically asked the teacher. The teacher smiled and lowered his eyes. She told her friend that he behaved badly and was unhappy at the sports meeting that day, but unhappiness was not the most important thing. The most important thing is that the child's self-confidence has been hit, so she helps the child discover his own strengths and specialties.
The teacher told a friend that every child's growth and development are different, and his friend's son may be the type with late motor nerve development. After a while, his interest in sports may come up at once (the teacher is right, motor nerve development is quite late, other children can climb in 8 months, and her family will be two and a half years old; Other people's children leave at the age of one, and her family leaves at the age of one and a half. But at present, his language expression ability and logical thinking ability are better than those of his peers. As teachers and parents, we should pay more attention to children's strengths and develop their strengths, so that children will become more and more confident.
Children who can play are confident.
When I first went to kindergarten, my child's "separation anxiety" was quite serious. For about a week, they refused to go in at the school gate, either clutching their skirts or tugging at their father's car door. Every day, the teacher "pulls" him from them or the car.
How good is it? One day, a little older boy came out of the classroom and said to his clumsy son, "Come and have a look at my new toy with me." It is a green dinosaur! " "On another occasion, a girl about her age did not hesitate to open her arms to her son, and her face was full of tears.
To tell the truth, such a scene surprised me. Those two children are completely comforting their peers like adults, moving like clouds. They expressed the friendship between their classmates to her son, but as parents, they saw their confidence in a full atmosphere.
Indeed, the kindergartens here have never promised or advertised that "you can read, add and subtract in one year" and "how many words you can know and what talents you can learn", but have enough equality and respect, enough social opportunities and enough play time.
As soon as I enter the park, the teacher will give parents a handbook, emphasizing that the most important task of children in kindergarten is to "play": "If I am piling wood, please don't think that I am just" playing "because I am learning balance and modeling, and I may become an architect in the future"; "If I look around in the grass and pick up stones and branches and put them in my pocket, please don't think I'm just playing. I am exploring and imagining. I may become a botanist in the future. "
I think this kind of education may not let parents see the immediate learning effect immediately, but it will be quite inspiring to cultivate children's creativity, interpersonal skills, honesty and friendliness.
The teachers there always emphasize: "children of this age must be able to play, and they can play anything as long as there is no danger." If they try more, they will know how to communicate. Children who can communicate will live in the future, but those who can live can have confidence in the crowd. "
Children who focus on their own strengths are confident.
It should be our common sense that most foreigners are poor at math.
I once saw such a story on the Internet. The author studied in America and stayed there as an engineer. One day, he found that his colleague turned out to be "10.5-0.3=?" It is ridiculous to use a calculator to calculate such arithmetic. He was given a manual root sign on the spot, and foreigners were dumbfounded.
Under this post, many people leave messages, and America doesn't even understand this. How can she become an engineer?
The author replied that he had the same problem, but his colleague told him, "It doesn't matter whether math is good or not in our place. The important thing is that you have a good one. " When he was a child, he failed all the math, Chinese and science classes, but I got an A in tree climbing and handicraft classes. Later, I took a computer class, and my grades were not bad, and I generally passed, but I actually got full marks in modeling and design. "You say, what should people like me do if they don't become engineers?"
Get full marks in one subject and fail in n subjects, and you can be an engineer. This is what our ancestors said, "one trick is fresh, eat all over the sky", right? The problem is that, in China, the chances of "one recruit with fresh skills" children going to college are slim, and most parents in China pay more attention to their children's overall grades, especially those subjects that "fail".
But foreigners are different. The perfect engineer said that his parents had never been angry with the subjects he failed, because "I still have excellent courses. Why should my parents be angry? " They are very happy that I can get an A. For them, it doesn't matter if I get a zero in math. As long as I have an excellent subject, it means that you know how to work hard in the subject you are interested in and have the ability to learn. In their view, math is no different from music and physical education class. "
Therefore, this child who only got full marks in one course and failed more than N never felt inferior. On the contrary, he was super confident all the way. In his memory, he was a "super student with full marks in model design" and "failed in mathematics and Chinese". This information is not in his mind at all. He focused on his own strengths and successfully embarked on a position that suited him.
In short, confident children can grow up well, because inferiority is a unique negative attribute of human beings. Once a child loses confidence in one aspect of his ability, he may lose confidence in other aspects of his ability, which will eventually lead to the overall backwardness.
Therefore, as a parent, I really want to learn from the generosity and optimism of foreigners, be good at tapping the advantages of children and let them know that everyone is a unique individual. Maybe he doesn't know math, but he is popular and has leadership ability. Maybe his composition is not good, but he paints well and has artistic cells; Maybe he is not good at expressing himself, but he is good at sports, running and jumping, creating opportunities for his strengths and making him grow into a unique self.