This article is a little dragon bag with a fan filter. It uses the aura of love beans to write a mysterious word called "EQ".

How do you rate Zhu Yilong's EQ?

Zhu Yilong is recognized as a mudslide by journalists and fans. Whenever a reporter asks questions, this slow-moving actor always has a kind of cuteness that stays deep and naturally erupts. Not much to say, give you a feeling:

Reporter: What impressed you most about Luo?

Zhu Yilong: This role is different from what I played before.

Reporter: What's the difference?

Zhu Yilong: Every place is different.

Reporter: ...

Reporter: In the future, your drama powder will pick someone else. What are you going to say?

Zhu Yilong: No, I feel very good from the bottom of my heart. I think White and I are both fine, both fine. Well, what's the problem?

Reporter: Do you understand the meaning of the question?

Zhu Yilong: No.

Reporter: ...

Reporter: Are you nervous about singing on the stage?

Zhu Yilong: OK, I'm so nervous. I'm so nervous.

Reporter: So how did you overcome this tension?

Zhu Yilong: I haven't got over it yet.

Reporter: ...

Reporter: Weibo has 9 million fans. Are there any fan benefits?

Zhu Yilong: Well, I've been thinking about it, too, but because a lot has happened recently, and then I don't want to say it's just a selfie, it seems a little unreasonable.

Reporter: ...

A word "benevolence and righteousness" means that all men are brothers within the four seas. )

Although Zhu Yilong's response to reporters' interviews often shows the appearance of being slow to respond, not saying much and not knowing how to take over, unlike other artists, he immediately gives people a decent, tactful and vague ...

This slightly cute way of coping didn't make fans and reporters feel perfunctory and indifferent at all, and even Zhu Yilong was on the red list of artists with the highest degree of goodwill when interviewed by reporters.

If he really just lacks interview skills, you can hardly see that he was criticized in the interview. Even when discussing changing majors, his story is clear and coherent, and he can clearly feel his strong personal attitude. Even the golden sentence that often appears:

"My pride only allows me to do this."

"It is not particularly difficult for actors to support themselves and live a good life, as long as you don't want too much."

"You used to be poor because you didn't play well enough. Because an actor is a very intuitive profession, the audience will agree if you play well, and everyone will disagree if you play badly. "

What we can all see is that he is communicating with people as an actor rather than an entertainment star. No matter what questions he is good at, no matter whether his answers are deep or shallow, we can all feel his seriousness and respect in his doubts, thinking and hesitation.

Compared with other stars who are proficient in language skills and words, he is clumsy because he is not good at rhetoric and flattery, but he is still likable because we see sincerity in his clumsiness. This is really admirable. Zhu Yilong's seemingly dull and clumsy coping style is precisely the natural expression of his high EQ. This is a terrible person with high emotional intelligence!

What is EQ? There is a book called "The so-called high emotional intelligence is talking", which gives the public the impression that people who can talk are all people with high emotional intelligence. This is a big cognitive misunderstanding!

The relationship between EQ and IQ?

Not only do people misunderstand the definition of "emotional intelligence", but there are also well-known fallacies about the role of emotional intelligence!

For example, "80% of success depends on emotional intelligence." This statement comes from "the contribution rate of IQ to career is 20%", and this inference has not been confirmed. Even some books say that "a person's success = 1% IQ +99% EQ", which is sheer nonsense!

For example, Zhu Yilong's popularity, although his EQ contributed, was not the dominant factor of his success, or even had little influence. There are many factors that affect success: wealth, family, class ... and mysterious luck (Zhu Yilong can be said to have certain qualifications in these aspects). Therefore, for EQ, we should not be overly superstitious about its role in success.

Since emotional intelligence can't have a decisive influence on success, why should we advocate high emotional intelligence?

Because the main performance of IQ and its influence are obvious, the analysis and research on IQ is earlier than EQ. However, with the development of the times, the work pressure is getting heavier and heavier, the social form is becoming more and more complicated, and the interpersonal network is becoming more and more dense ... The importance of emotional intelligence is highlighted-emotional intelligence can solve problems that intelligence can't solve.

First of all, we should clearly know the relationship between IQ and EQ. Professor Wu Weiku from Tsinghua University Institute of Economics and Management said:

People with high IQ and EQ are proud of the spring breeze. People with low IQ and high EQ should get help from noble people. People with high IQ and low EQ have no talent. People with low IQ and EQ can do nothing.

It can be seen that in order to succeed, emotional intelligence is as important as IQ. However, basic EQ is a necessary and sufficient factor for jobs or skills in specific professional fields (emphasizing IQ), while basic IQ is a necessary and sufficient factor for jobs or skills in non-specific professional fields (emphasizing EQ).

Of course, some studies have concluded that the emotional center was formed earlier than the thinking brain, but it cannot be proved that intelligence is more important than emotion. After all, if a person's IQ is below 25-a real idiot-he can't have a high EQ. But a person who has removed the amygdala (the center for judging emotions) can continue to live a normal life without feelings. It can be said that IQ is the basis of high EQ.

We should know that a person's IQ is the expression of intelligence level, and intelligence is manifested in many aspects, such as observation, memory, imagination, creativity, analytical judgment, thinking ability, adaptability, reasoning ability and so on. , including the combination of quotient (CQ) and emotional intelligence.

Based on an experimental report by Richard Lynn, a scholar at Cambridge University in England, the average IQ of East Asians (including China, Japanese and Koreans) is 105, which exceeds the global average. However, it is difficult to define EQ with scientific, comprehensive, systematic and professional indicators.

What is EQ?

Emotional quotient (EQ) is an intangible soft power, which mainly refers to people's qualities in emotion, will and frustration tolerance. Daniel Gorman, Ph.D. in psychology at Harvard University, believes that EQ includes: (1) the ability to understand one's emotions; (2) the ability to manage emotions correctly; (3) self-motivation; (4) the ability to perceive the emotions of others; (5) interpersonal management skills. Therefore, talking does not mean high emotional intelligence.

Now we can talk about why Zhu Yilong's EQ is high! Judging from Zhu Yilong's work experience, the actor scored high in five aspects:

1. Correct self-awareness ability: actor, with clear goals (absorbing professional knowledge during study and honing acting skills after employment), ordinary and good-looking. ...

2. Excellent emotional management ability: you can calm down when you don't hear a person talking in the early stage of your debut, you can hold your breath when you are tepid in the middle stage of your debut, you can let your hair down when you suddenly break out in full swing, your work rhythm can be kept stable, and you can control your facial expressions even if you are scared out of your mind. ...

3. Hard-core self-motivation ability: Don't change your image and style because of external preferences, treat your work and career with a professional attitude, and don't forget the initiative. The future is expected. ...

4. Good emotional interaction ability: When there are some problems in the studio, stay with the team, calm the enthusiasm of fans and give appropriate feedback in time, full of sincerity. ...

5. High interpersonal management skills: the actors and staff who have worked together are full of praise, especially the directors and predecessors; Soon established a sincere and close contact with He Jiong, the host of Hunan Satellite TV; I especially remember sending flowers to the role of mother in the play on Mother's Day. ...

Although Zhu Yilong has not achieved perfection in these aspects, it can achieve perfection in every aspect, which is the ultimate! Otherwise, think about it. In school, it is the first in the class or the highest score in all subjects, but the total score is 1?

So, Barabara has learned so much, some people may question: You said that EQ can't determine Zhu Yilong's success, and then you used the success of Zhu Yilong's career to prove his high EQ. What's the use of emotional intelligence?

Emotional intelligence is certainly useful!

Why is EQ important?

Emotional intelligence is related to our ability to express and control emotions. Actors are experts in emotional expression, and many of us are born actors. Successful people need excellent performance in leadership, coordination, interpersonal skills and social analysis.

Maybe some people pay more attention to the lubricating function of high EQ in interpersonal relationships, and think that being good at socializing is the performance of high EQ, but the author thinks that the core of high EQ is the feeling and expression of oneself and others' emotions, and high EQ is more important for maintaining the true self.

If a person pursues enthusiasm in interpersonal relationships and ignores his true emotions, it is easy to become a "social chameleon".

Social chameleon: In order to win a good impression, they act according to other people's wishes rather than their own hearts, don't mind saying one thing and doing another, and pay more attention to understanding other people's thoughts and expectations through clues rather than expressing their true feelings, so in front of different people, they are all smiles and behave differently at will.

This trait can be used like a duck to water in professional fields such as performance, diplomacy, politics and sales. But returning to life and continuing this trait makes people feel insincere.

When we look at Zhu Yilong's non-acting life segments, it is not difficult to find that he properly distinguishes and accurately controls the emotions in his work and real life. This ability to maintain his true self is due to the consistency of his deep feelings and values.

Fundamentally speaking, all kinds of skills influenced by emotional intelligence will eventually form a person's character. There is an extreme saying that "personality determines fate", which shows the importance of emotional intelligence.

In addition, high emotional intelligence will have a "skyrocketing" phenomenon. "Surging" is the highest realm of emotional intelligence, and it is the state where emotions reach the extreme under the purpose of performance and learning. At this time, attention is highly concentrated and selfless.

In marriage, the difference of emotional intelligence is an important factor leading to the disintegration of marriage. Marriage is the closest relationship between people, and emotional communication plays an absolute role in this relationship. If both parties can't express their emotions effectively, or even have emotional communication obstacles, they will form a bad and contradictory marriage relationship.

The importance of emotional intelligence has many other important influences. Emotional intelligence is so important, is it the same as IQ, and the innate determinant is greater? The answer is yes.

How to become a person with high EQ?

High EQ must have a certain IQ basis. People with high IQ have advantages in learning knowledge, memory, thinking and innovation, but the advantages of not learning IQ are not obvious.

The emotional demonstration of parents plays a key role in the important period of emotional intelligence training in children and adolescents, but if we miss this period, our emotional intelligence level will not be completely determined.

As long as our IQ is within the range of normal people, and the brain parts and neural connections related to emotions are not destroyed, we can still improve our EQ through learning the day after tomorrow. Depression can be treated, which shows that people's emotional management ability can be adjusted and improved through methods and skills.

Then how can we improve our emotional intelligence and be a person who understands the world, is not worldly, greasy, hypocritical and unpretentious like Zhu Yilong? You only need to use the following five tools!

Mirror-see your emotions

First of all, looking for a "mirror" to look at yourself and know yourself is the basis of emotional intelligence management. Only by truly understanding your inner feelings and emotions can you make correct control and express your emotions accurately. For example, when you are constantly blaming in extreme anger, find your inner mirror and look at yourself: "I am very angry now, very angry."

Scissors-A Reasonable Clip of Emotion

Then you need a pair of scissors to get rid of those unnecessary emotions in time. Once you know your true emotions, you will be much calmer and have more rational intervention, instead of venting these emotions in a completely different way (such as rude and mean abuse and accusations). You said: I am angry, very angry! Then the other person will know why you are angry. This way is more conducive to solving things than endless excuses.

Nail-go deep into your post

Then find a position and wedge a "nail". If you have more than one nail in your hand, you can hammer more nails. With a fixed nail, you have your own position and won't be taken away by others. And with the complexity of the environment you face, the deeper your nail needs to be, the more stable it will be. You can't go too far. If you buy all the nails, you can't contact your social resume.

Connect others' emotions with ropes.

Then, find a "rope" and hook it with other people's emotional links. If you only pay attention to your emotional cognition and control, you will become an emotional island and become an autistic person. So we need a rope to radiate our emotions and then accept others' emotions. The more ropes, the more emotions you get from others, and the more likely you are to become a person with high emotional intelligence in the eyes of others.

Distinguish the emotional relationship of markers

Finally, you need a marker. You can't have all the ropes, and you don't have time to take care of all the ropes, so you need to screen out your most important, most needed and strongest ropes, and then mark them with emphasis, so that you can know which ropes you need to pay attention to and maintain in time.

Interestingly, the deeper the relationship, the less energy it takes to maintain it. For example, dating someone of the opposite sex who has just met for a few days is more energy-consuming than dating a close friend who has been friends for ten years. This is not to say that the new relationship is more important than the old one, but the old one. We invested enough energy in the early stage, so we are strong enough.

Finally, the author wants to say that although we like people with high emotional intelligence and recognize the importance of emotional intelligence, we don't want everyone to become a world with high emotional intelligence. The composition of this world is complex and diverse. We need both leaders and followers. We need politicians as well as scientists and technicians; We need beautiful words and art, as well as rigorous mathematics and logic. This is a world that is not just emotional intelligence and IQ.

Moreover, in the ever-changing society, we still value emotional sincerity rather than social skills. Regarding the argument about the quality of EQ, the author thinks that everyone has his own background color of life and his own landscape painting, and there is no need to change his favorite color because of other people's likes and dislikes.

May we all know the world, so we are not worldly, know the routine and not enter the routine, and become a sincere person! Like Zhu Yilong. ...

note:

1. The analysis of Mr. Zhu Yilong in this paper is purely personal. Please correct me if there is anything wrong.