Children are probably in such a mood: by chance, you look up and see a crescent moon hanging from the willow tip. So in the next few nights, you always subconsciously glance at the bright moon in the blue sky and unconsciously look forward to the full moon night. But when this night really comes, the bright moonlight collides with you, and instead of expecting joy, you have a lot of inexplicable sadness and melancholy.
The moon's profit and loss are like this, as are defects and perfection.
We always think that defects are a stumbling block to success, a little sludge on flowers after rain, and a mole on moral conduct, but we don't realize that defects make it possible to pursue perfection.
Defects do not prevent us from pursuing perfection. Zuo Qiu is blind, his grandson is lame, and Sima Qian lives in seclusion, but he can shine brilliantly in history. Helen Keller was deaf and blind when she was a child, and Churchill stuttered when she was a child. The former used words to bring light to hundreds of millions of readers in the dark, while the latter's speech in World War II still sounds inspiring today.
However, perfection is a desperate situation. "If the water is clear, there will be no fish, and if people observe it, there will be no disciples." If you say, "There are a lot of fish in the pond, swimming around in the air, what is the clarity worth appreciating?" Life is full of ups and downs. If you see through the world of mortals and can't benefit others, your talent will lose its value. What's more, it's as perfect as a full moon, "it gets brighter every night." Perfection often blinds the eyes of pursuers, making people lose the motivation to move forward and even go backwards.
Heidegger once said: "In this school of life, misfortune is better than happiness." In Shi Tiesheng's eyes: "Everyone is disabled". They are telling the same truth: defects exist objectively, and they urge us to pursue perfection.
Lu Xun's insight into social ugliness and defects gave birth to great works. They lit up the road of national progress like torches. Kafka experienced a flawed childhood and had to face the fear of "no identity" and losing his spiritual home as an adult. Only this Austrian western Western jackdaw created epoch-making works in the history of novels, such as The Trial and The Castle, and became one of the three founders of modern western literature.
It is this defect that inspires writers to start the new century with pens. It is the defect that guides human beings to pursue perfection unremittingly. It is a defect and provides a riverbed for the extension and advancement of history.
"Looking for him in the crowd, I suddenly turned around, but the man was in the dim light." The more mature the skill, the more perfect the realm, and the more aware of the hidden defects in perfection. The shock of Guanyin with a Thousand Hands needs the foil of the defects of deaf-mute dancers; Venus's elegant beauty is attributed to the broken arm that makes people think endlessly. The passion of the Symphony of Destiny flows in the notes and comes from Beethoven's indomitable soul.
I would rather be a crescent moon, and have the tenacity and courage to overcome the defects among the defects.
I would rather be a crescent moon, expecting, pursuing and creating a life without regrets on the night when I embrace defects.
Author: Lv Qian No.1 Middle School
Inferiority and transcendence
We all have a life dictionary. You can find many words in your dictionary: happiness, happiness, pride, understanding, fear, sadness and so on. If you are like most people, when you look up the dictionary, inferiority will come into your eyes at an inappropriate time:
"It's not easy for me to fall in love or show love," said a young man, "because I don't think I'm likable or funny."
"I always suffer from insomnia. I always dream that I failed the exam. The teacher turned to me, and my parents simply called me stupid. I can't understand the teacher's lecture. My grades are not good. I know that no matter how hard I try, I can't catch up with them, because they are too smart ... and the college entrance examination is coming. I really don't know what to do. I died like this, but I was afraid that my parents would be sad. If you can't go to college, it will be a disaster! How can I live up to my parents' hopes! ..... I liked music and played the violin very well, but my parents said it would waste time and affect my study, so I gave up two years ago. "
"My deskmate's math score is better than mine, which makes me very uncomfortable. Besides, she is more beautiful than me, and I am nothing. This is really unfair. Fortunately, I scored 5 points more than her in this English exam, which made me very happy. "
"I really want to ask the teacher questions, but I'm afraid the teacher will joke that my questions are too superficial. I have walked in front of the teacher's office several times, but I still don't have the courage to walk in. I am even afraid of the teacher asking questions in class, because I am worried about the sparse laughter of my classmates when I can't answer well. " A high school student said.
"Finally after school, homework is done. I want to go back to rest. I'm tired all day. But other students are still struggling, so I have to force myself to sit down and continue licking that hateful English word. "
"What's the point of finishing one thing?" A sad young man asked, "I always feel that others know more than me, and I will never catch up with them." I've always wanted to prove myself. I'm exhausted. "
"I can satisfy the wishes of others, but I can't satisfy my own wishes; I can win all kinds of fame, but I don't think I can do anything. When I wake up every morning, I feel bored and empty. " Homosexuality theory.
"By chance, I met a very elegant young man. His manners and conversation attracted me, and we fell in love. One night, we couldn't help having sex Although I know it's not good, I can't refuse his request. I felt sad when he told me to drop out of school, find me a job and marry him at once. Because I don't think I deserve him. Although I consider myself a beautiful girl, she has a good family and a good job. So, later, he said that the melancholy thing I attracted him was gone, and I dared to refuse him. When I want to be angry, he said that he likes the way I am angry. I can't be angry at once because I feel inferior. " A beautiful girl said, "At last, because I was hesitant, we finally broke up, and now I have nothing ..."
Inferiority exists in every corner of life. Most teenagers are disappointed with themselves and their identity. In this world of idolatry and star worship, we look in the mirror, hoping to see a great image, but what we see is a acne face that appears regularly. Most disappointed young people don't want to express their feelings, because letting people know their inner world will make them suffer.
"Incompetence and inferiority complex are common in our world." As psychologist James Dolby said, "Inferiority exists in all our lives, especially in teenagers." It puzzles us.
Scientific understanding of inferiority complex
Introduce Ah's childhood experience:
Although inferiority has always been with us, the scientific understanding of inferiority began with Adler, a German psychologist in the 20th century.
Adler believes that all people have an inferiority complex when they are young. Because a person's physiological mechanism is not fully developed when he is young, everything depends on adults to survive. Parents are omnipotent gods in their eyes. Seeing that adults are superior to themselves everywhere, every child will feel inferior At the same time, Adler pointed out that inferiority is not a bad thing, on the contrary, it is the main driving force for everyone's development, and inferiority makes people have a strong desire to seek strength.
When a person feels inferior, he will try to accomplish something to overcome it. After success, people's hearts will be in a relatively stable period. After seeing others' achievements, they will have a new sense of inferiority, so as to urge themselves to make greater progress, and so on. Of course, inferiority doesn't always make people progress. If a person is discouraged and thinks that his efforts can't change his situation, but he can't get rid of his inferiority complex, then he will try to get rid of them in order to maintain his mental health (self-unity). It's just that these methods will not make him progress. He will indulge himself and numb himself with a false sense of superiority, which is similar to Ah Q's spirit, because people with inferiority live in his imaginary spiritual world, which leads to the same situation of inferiority. Therefore, his sense of inferiority will accumulate more and more, and his behavior will fall into self-deception and form an inferiority complex.
Of course, different psychologists have different views on the generation of inferiority complex. For example, some social psychologists believe that inferiority is the result of a person's incorrect attribution.
After things happen, people always try to analyze the reasons behind this result. But different people often have different views on the same thing. For example, in a basketball game, both players lost. Some players may think that their team is unlucky, or the venue is not good, or the ball is not easy to play (external attribution), while some players may think that it is their own strength and losing is inevitable (internal attribution). Inferiority is often attributed to failure itself and has nothing to do with the environment. That is, you only see your own shortcomings, but you can't see your own advantages.
If you get high marks in the exam, people with low self-esteem will think that the teacher happened to give an outline, while if you don't do well in the exam, you will think that you are stupid. The research on attribution shows that women have more wrong attribution than men, which may be related to social culture. )
So many times, people feel that cowardice and inferiority are entirely caused by their own psychology, which has nothing to do with the actual situation.
Another factor related to self-confidence is fatal self-evaluation.
Many people look for self-confidence and self-esteem everywhere, but they never look for it from themselves. "It's just ..." "If ..." It seems that as long as they achieve something, once they get it, they can become confident and soar overnight. They always pin their self-confident search on external satisfaction. They are used to comparing with others. They are content with the poor advantages compared with others, because their wages are a little higher than those of their neighbors, because they see a little more than others in a certain place and boast, or because their clothes are not bright enough and too old-fashioned, because their scores in a math exam are a little lower than those of their deskmates, and they are heartbroken and crying. Of course, if their colleagues win the prize, but they don't, it will kill them ... hope to adopt!
Our profound understanding and evaluation of ourselves affects all our major decisions and choices, thus shaping the life we create for ourselves.