Treating children as outsiders is useful for both husband-wife relationship and parent-child relationship.

Case 1: Hong Tao: "Xu zhēng and I are a family, and our children are just tenants at home. 」

Recently, there was an incident of "divorce due to knocking over food" in an online forum. After the incident, the child knocked over the food that his mother wanted to eat. At present, the father only comforts the child and does not ask the child to apologize. He even forgot that the food was originally for his mother. Afterwards, his wife packed her things and sent a text message back to her parents' house saying that she wanted a divorce. At first glance, I thought the woman was making a mountain out of a molehill, but in fact, the wife mentioned that "you take care of the children and don't care about me at all", which punctured a long-standing crisis in marriage and seemed to reveal that similar things had happened in the past, which made her disheartened.

After having children, the husband and wife were promoted to be parents. Many things put children first, but they accidentally violated the taboo of marriage. Everything is about children, regardless of your partner's mood! Xu Zongheng, the Golden Horse Award-winning actress who starred in The Long Road, married actress Hong Tao. Hong Tao once said a meaningful sentence: "Xu zhēng and I are family, children, just tenants at home. 」

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How do you say this? Before giving birth to a child, it is your other half who vows to take care of each other through sickness and death. After giving birth to a child, it is also your partner who is responsible for raising the child; When the child grows up, he will still be your partner and grow old with you. Therefore, even if you love your child again, you can't ignore your partner's feelings. If you want to be a good family, you must start from being a good husband and wife, so that children can grow up in a good environment.

Case 2: Treat your children like outsiders.

If you are often angry with your children's fooling around, you might as well try it in another way and get different results! Feifei just entered the sixth grade of primary school, and her mother decided to start urging her children's schoolwork. Every day after school, Feifei will accompany him to read 300 Tang poems, review math papers and recite English words ... But Feifei will always look ungrateful, as if her mother owes him lessons.

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My mother changed from worried thoughts to anxious curses, and mother and son staged contradictions and opposites every day, which made the family confused. Until one day, my mother went back to her mother's house and saw her niece doing her homework. When she met a question she didn't understand, she whispered it several times. She still didn't understand when she saw her niece, so she said softly, it doesn't matter. Let's have a rest first and then come back to solve it.

As a result, my niece said, "Aunt, you are much more patient than your mother. Every time I ask her, if she still refuses, she will continue reading and get angry. " It suddenly occurred to the mother that if she treated her children as outsiders and showed more tolerance and empathy, she might not smoke so much? Because he is his own child, he often scolds him when he is emotional, but he always scolds him. Children rarely become more active, only pushing them further and further.