I haven't seen my father for over two years. What I can't forget most is his back. That winter, grandma passed away.

Finally, my father's job was handed in. This is a day when it never rains but it pours. I went to Xuzhou from Beijing to attend my father's funeral.

Go home. I went to Xuzhou to see my father, saw the messy things in the yard, and thought of my grandmother. I can't help crying.

Father said, "Don't be sad, but God never shuts one door but he opens another!" " ! 」

Going home to sell pawns, my father lost money; Borrowing money for the funeral again. These days, the situation at home is very bleak.

Half for the funeral and half for the father. After the funeral, my father will go to Nanjing to work, and I will also go back to the north.

When we study in Beijing, we will go together.

In Nanjing, a friend made an appointment to go sightseeing and stayed for one day. The next morning, you will cross the river to Pukou, and in the afternoon.

Drive north. Because my father is busy, he has decided not to send it, and found a familiar waiter in the hotel to accompany him. It's him again

The three men told the waiter carefully. But he finally worried that the waiter posted it inappropriately; I hesitated for a moment. Actually, my place.

I'm twenty years old and I've traveled to and from Beijing two or three times, so it doesn't matter. He hesitated for a while and finally decided.

Or you can take me yourself. I advised him not to go two or three times; He just said, "Never mind, they can't walk well! 」

We crossed the river and entered the station. I bought a ticket and he was busy looking after the luggage. There is too much luggage, so you have to be careful of the porters.

Tip, you can go there. He is busy bargaining with them again. I was so smart that I always thought he didn't talk much.

Beauty, you have to interrupt yourself. But he finally negotiated the price; Walk me to the car. He reserved a car seat for me.

A chair; I spread out the purple coat he made for me and sat down. He told me to be careful on the road and vigilant at night, didn't he?

Get cold. And let the waiter take good care of me. I laughed at his pedantry in my mind; All they know is that money is always white.

Tuo! Can't people my age take care of themselves? Well, now that I think about it, it is true.

Smart.

I said, "Dad, you go." He looked out of the car and said, "I'll buy some oranges." You're right here

Here, don't go. I saw some sellers waiting for customers outside the fence on the platform over there. Go to the platform over there

You have to cross the railway, jump down and climb up. Father is a fat man, so it is naturally more troublesome to walk there. That's what I should do

He refused to go, so he had to go. I saw him wearing a small black hat, a big black jacket and a dark blue cotton coat.

Robe, hobbled to the railway, slowly lean down, it is not difficult. But he crossed the railway to climb the moon over there.

Taiwan Province is not easy. He climbed up with his hands and his feet shrank again; His fat body leans slightly to the left, revealing.

The way you work hard. Then I saw his back, and my tears soon flowed down. I'm afraid of him, so dry your tears quickly.

Yes, I'm afraid others will see it. When I looked out again, he had come back with the bright red orange in his arms. When crossing the railway, he

Put the orange on the ground first, climb down slowly by yourself, then pick it up and leave. When I arrived here, I hurried to help him. he

Walk with me to the car and put the oranges on my fur coat. So I jumped on the dirt on my clothes and felt very relaxed.

After a while, he casually said, "I'm leaving. Write to me there!" " "I watched him go out. He took a few steps and came back.

The boss saw me and said, "Go in, there's no one inside." When his back is mixed with people coming and going, he can't find it anymore.

I came in and sat down, and my tears came again.

In recent years, my father and I have been running around, and the situation at home is getting worse and worse. He went out to make a living when he was young.

Independent support, have done many great things. I didn't expect the environment to be so depressing! He was so sad that he couldn't control himself.

If you are depressed in the middle, it is natural to send it out; Family trifles often touch his anger. He treats me differently. But the most

I haven't seen him for nearly two years. He finally forgot my shortcomings and only thought about me and my son. After I came to the north, he

Wrote a letter to me, which said: "I am in good health, but my arm hurts, so it is not convenient to lift chopsticks and pens."

About the time to go is not far away. "I read here, in the tears of glittering and translucent, saw that piece of hypertrophy, green cotton cloth.

Robe, the northern shadow of black cloth mandarin jacket. Alas! I don't know when I can see him again!

Parental responsibility

In ancient times, parents didn't know what responsibility they had for their children. At that time, parents thought that giving birth to children was a kind of magic, because of the role of elves; What they don't know is their own strength. So even the concept of "parents" was vague at that time; Not to mention responsibility! (Habhouse once said this) Their attitudes and methods towards children are probably based on natural love and traditional superstition. Without conscious standards, it can be asserted. Later generations know progress, and the concept of worshipping elves gradually disappears; A group of parents will understand that children are only the result of sexual intercourse, and there is nothing strange about it. But what is the relationship between children and parents? What are the responsibilities of parents to their children? Parents who do their duty gradually have various opinions. As far as China's theory is concerned, from the time of Mencius to the present, the so-called orthodoxy is probably like this: sons continue to worship, that is, sons live for their parents, parents, …. Parents should raise their sons and be filial sons-the youngest should be able to earn money to support their families, and the oldest should be able to honor their ancestors. But now, the second condition seems more important. It is also a great responsibility for parents to marry their sons-not for their sons, but for their ancestors and themselves; Because the first purpose of marrying a daughter-in-law is to continue worship! As for the daughter, everyone does not attach importance to it, and even hates it. Sell her as a prostitute, concubine or servant girl, and foster her as a daughter in someone else's house; Sending her to the nursery is an ordinary and unimportant thing; As for those who regard her as "losing money", it is more common! Under such circumstances, parents have little responsibility for their daughters! Ordinary people are just born to be human and grow to be human; When I grow up, I will learn some tips and housework from my mother, waiting to get married. These are not certain responsibilities, but are "free to do" by parents. Just married, parents have to bear some responsibilities, but it is also quite minor. At these times, parents finally have obvious responsibilities for their sons and some responsibilities for their daughters. But they are all calculated after the baby is born. As for the responsibility before birth, it's actually not. Everyone seems to have never thought of it-it's even more surprising to tell them! In their vague minds, there are only two things: "having a son" and "having more sons", which is their hope-but not their responsibility-before the baby is born. Although those who have not given birth to sons after the age of 30 all go to be concubines, take tonics and try their best to give birth to sons, it is not their responsibility after all. So these parents' children just gave them a muddled life! Therefore, everyone has the right to have children at will.

With the development of modern biological science and life science, "human body research" has become increasingly complex. The viewpoint of "people's responsibility" has changed greatly, and the viewpoint of "parents' responsibility" has been greatly corrected. From biological science, we know that children don't live for their parents; On the contrary, parents mostly live for their children! It is better to say that "prolonging life" is related to the natural requirement of "prolonging life", and there is another requirement of "expanding or developing life", which was buried by custom or ethics before, and now it is put forward again. So now parents should stop putting their children in their own style and call them "dutiful sons". We should give them enough strength to develop freely and surpass themselves successfully! As for the equal treatment of children and women, it is even more obvious from the life science and real life of sexology research. At this time, parents should be responsible for the new science and can't be as casual as before. They know that bearing children is not only a personal right, but also a social service, so bearing children and accompanying parenting are easy to bear social responsibility. Children should not be raised only as their own heirs, but as the later generation of society! In this way, you can treat your daughter at will, and you should protest about raising your son for the benefit of your family and yourself. After this view becomes a trend, it will form a new morality: "Being a parent is the noblest and most sacred obligation and right of a person, and it is also the most important opportunity to serve the society! "So, being a parent is not a rash and easy thing; People should consider their own abilities before becoming parents. -rushing to be a parent without parental ability, leading to the birth or development of a child with mental and physical defects, will be sanctioned by society and conscience. In such a society, children will be blessed. However, I am ashamed to say that this new morality is only an ideal realm now!

According to our standards, there are almost no responsible parents in today's society, paying special attention to China! In other words, parents have little responsibility! STD patients, alcoholics, lunatics and idiots can get married and have children openly! Although some people lament that their children get genetic defects from them, no one has ever protested their reproductive rights! Therefore, there is no hope for the disabled and deformed people to decrease! People who are too poor to support themselves can have many children; I would rather let them endure freezing and hunger, or even give them to others and sell them to others, but I never doubt their rights! No one doubts their rights! As a result, more children are displaced without education or support! This determines the tragic fate of our future generations! This is the result that ordinary parents have never been responsible for the reproductive society. It is also the result of society's laissez-faire towards fertility. Therefore, we believe that for the sake of society, fertility should not be free; At least this freedom should be restricted! Those who are not only mentally and physically defective, but also have no financial ability to raise children should be restricted; Even those who can't educate their children, even those who can't educate their children according to their own needs and the needs of the later generations of society, should also be punished by a kind of morality. -teach them to punish themselves, consciously not to have children, or control children. At present, there are many rich children and petty bourgeoisie children, either because their parents dote on them, or because their parents are busy with their affairs, they can't have enough opportunities to receive a good education, so that they can't develop a sound personality to adapt to the future; Some have to use printed education in the ancestral old shop "Ziyuepu", and there will be no fresh and lively enterprising spirit! In a family with many children, parents are more likely to have these tendencies if they are not adequately taken care of! Although the disadvantages of this kind of childbirth are not as serious as the first two, they are enough to become a major obstacle to "progress" and they are the same! And this kind of abuse is very common-look at your friends, your relatives, your children, and even your own children, which one can really "take care of yourself"! You'll worry about them or us, too -so it is more noteworthy.

Nowadays, the standard of living is getting higher and higher. In the petty bourgeoisie, the cost of raising a child is enough to reduce the happiness of the family, and the number of children is inversely proportional to the happiness. Those poor people also feel that their children are a great oppression. In fact, these situations have happened before, but they are not so touching now. Among the petty bourgeoisie, the emerging intellectual class can feel this pain most keenly. However, although everyone feels it, they feel that fertility is dominated by "nature", which is beyond human power and has to be decided by fate. It was not until the last two years that the knowledge of biology, especially eugenics, gradually spread to the general intellectual class, and they realized that imperfect fertility could be limited by manpower. Last year, Mrs. Shanshun came to China to spread the theory and method of birth control, which had a great influence. From then on, we know that not only imperfect fertility can be restricted, but also perfect fertility can be restricted, as long as the parties are unwilling, they can freely restrict it. Therefore, for children, they pay more attention to before birth than after birth; Therefore, parents also have obvious responsibilities before the birth of their children. It is their fault that parents have the freedom and right to have children, or give birth to unhealthy children, or can't afford to raise children. They should be condemned by conscience and society! Moreover, from a social standpoint, it seems that the responsibility of parents before the birth of their children is greater than that after the birth of their children. Although these ideas can't become a trend at present, they have sprouted and fattened up, at least among the intellectuals. I hope that the efforts of the intellectual class, while demonstrating, will try their best to publicize these theories and methods to the most remote places and the lowest society; When parents not only "know" that they have these responsibilities, but also "are willing" to undertake these responsibilities, then a new morality based on eugenics and birth control theory will be established.

This is the gospel of our children!

In the near future, I hope that the society will have two kinds of conscious sanctions against fertility: one is moral sanctions, and the other is legal sanctions. People with physical and mental defects, such as those with sexually transmitted diseases, should be banned from their reproductive rights by law, which is a legal sanction. This has been implemented in eight States in the United States. However, to be effective, such sanctions must meet several conditions. First, medical skills must be developed and can be trusted by society; Second, the details of household registration (such as heredity, etc.). , should be loaded); Third, carry out public health inspection; Fourth, there must be a just and powerful government; Fifth, social tolerance. These five kinds can't be done in China at present, and it is difficult to achieve legal sanctions for the time being; We must work hard in all aspects. However, although it is impossible to ban "child-rearing", it is possible to discourage "child-rearing" anytime and anywhere. Teach people to know the responsibilities of parents, teach people that being a parent now should be the result of free choice, that is, people can freely take what they have to have children, and teach people how unreasonable and irresponsible parents are, how harmful and shameful they are to society! This is what you can do if you like. This gives people a new moral standard to punish themselves, which is the starting point of social moral sanctions.

So now we can directly establish moral sanctions. And the effect of this effort is easy to see. Among the births with inappropriate conditions, except for the one that is not perfect in the future, the others seem to be beyond the scope of legal power and need to be punished entirely by morality. Because moral sanctions are not only easy to start and effective, but also more important; Naturally, our efforts should pay special attention to this direction!

Although imperfect childbearing can be punished by law in the future, the power of law, sometimes poor, still depends on moral assistance; The implementation of the law depends on social tolerance, and the foundation of social tolerance will still be based on morality. Therefore, unhealthy childbirth also needs moral sanctions; This is especially true now that legal sanctions have not been realized! Willow disease, alcoholism, ... we hope they feel their physical defects and repent their sins; With the power of repentance, he decided not to pass on his sins to future generations to aggravate his sins! This deprives or stops the right to be a parent. But this kind of consciousness is very difficult. So we hope that their families, relatives and friends will always remind them, monitor them and alert them! There is no consciousness at all about lunatics and idiots; Only rely on them to protect people, families, relatives and friends. In this case, we hope that these protectors can understand the responsibility of the reproductive society, understand their responsibilities to the younger generation, be alert to what they know, and categorically deprive or stop the parents' rights of the defective protected person! These types of people had better not get married or be isolated from the opposite sex; At least use birth control to make them sterile! As for those who are too poor to "afford" their children, we can easily win their sympathy by teaching them not to abuse education. As long as they are taught the simplest and most economical methods of birth control, and often carefully explained and persuaded, they will gradually believe and follow them. But in this case, it is more difficult to teach them to believe in our method; Because it conflicts with their belief in nature and fate, and with the traditional thinking of many children-they will think it is a sin, just like abortion in the old days; And wonder if this is a trick for foreigners to take something out of their bodies! However, the traditional concept is still not stubborn, and the suspicion of magic is expected to be reduced because of the clever propaganda means and the long time. The economic oppression is the inevitable practical oppression in front of them, which they can't resist! Therefore, as long as the propaganda is proper, it is easy for them to gradually believe and pursue. Only those rich people-bureaucrats or businessmen-and some petty bourgeoisie, this idea of moral sanctions is extremely difficult to invade! They have considerable economic ability and stubborn traditional ideas, and they don't and don't want to know that they should limit their fertility; They don't know what inappropriate childbearing is! They only give birth naturally and treat their children with traditional attitudes and methods. The result is to put them in their own style and make their own sacrifices! This destroys the child's personality development and spiritual life as much as possible, but thinks that parents have done their duty! This misunderstanding responsibility is worse than unknown responsibility; Because the unknown is easy to be included in the proposal, and the misunderstood is often self-righteous and refuses to change. Such people really don't deserve to be parents! Because they can't really take responsibility. For these people, although it is difficult for us to convince them to believe us, we must try our best to let them know the truth of biological evolution and social evolution, and let them take children as the standard, "understand them, guide them and liberate them"; This will improve all inappropriate parenting methods in the past. And make them have the determination that when they feel that they can't take the responsibility of proper parenting, or don't want to take this responsibility, they must resolutely take birth control measures and stop following the rules, which will lead to mistakes of others and themselves. Naturally, this kind of propaganda should be undertaken by the emerging intellectual class; Although the emerging intellectual class can also be said to belong to the petty bourgeoisie, they are particularly oppressed on the issue of fertility, and because of their thorough understanding and awakening attitude, they are different from others in the same class.

But there is still a question: how will their parents be responsible for the existing children born due to various improper births? I thought that the children of people with sexually transmitted diseases had to let Mr. Nature do the dirty work, and only fallacies and heresies were not allowed to spread any more. If parents of children from poor families can't educate them, society will help them as much as possible, for example, building more homes for poor children. But the power of social acceptance is limited, and most of it is still dominated by Mr. Nature! This is a very sad thing, but the economic organization can't be changed for a while. What can we do? We must "do our best". As for those who base their children on the elderly, we hope they can improve, as mentioned in the last section. Emerging intellectuals also have a tendency not to have children; They often feel indifferent or even disgusted with their children born without paying attention to them before, so they are unwilling to do their best for them. Here, I want to point out clearly that the most important principle of biological evolution and life development is that the previous generation is sacrificed to the next generation, and sacrifice is the ladder of progress! May they-in fact, I am included-sacrifice considerable energy for the education of their children for the development of the next generation; May they lay a solid foundation for their children's future life with great patience, and may they remember their own happiness and never forget their children's happiness! It takes a lot of self-control. In short, it is the responsibility of parents to let their children live a better life than themselves; On the one hand, it also makes the society get some sound, excellent and vital molecules; Not optional.

In order to make society more suitable for survival and less suitable for survival, we re-evaluated the responsibilities of parents:

Parents are not irresponsible.

Parents' responsibilities should not be based on their elders, but on their families; Young people should be the standard and society should be the standard.

We hope that parents in society are responsible; No irresponsible parents! "Being a parent is the noblest and most sacred obligation and right of human beings, and it is also the most important opportunity to serve the society", which is a new morality pointed out by biology and sociology.

Since parents' responsibilities may change from unclear to clear, it is not necessarily impossible to change from incorrect to correct; The establishment of new morality is always due to our efforts, and it is particularly important to compare the responsibilities of parents to their children. This is our responsibility to all young people! Work hard!

(Original1February 3, 923, New People's Daily? Spark supplement ")

I come from Yangzhou.

Some Chinese textbooks choose my article, and the notes say that I am from Shaoxing, Zhejiang, or Jiangdu, Jiangsu-that is, Yangzhou. Some people suspected that the people in Jiangdu, Jiangsu Province were wrong, so they specially wrote a trustee to ask me. I said my two places of origin are correct, but if I speak Mandarin, I have to come from Shaoxing, Zhejiang. Shaoxing, Zhejiang is my ancestral home, and I have filled it out since I was in primary school. Up to now, I have served in the school for almost 30 years, and I still reported this place of origin. However, I have only been to Shaoxing twice, and I only stayed for one day each time; But no one in my family can speak Shaoxing dialect except my late mother.

My family has been a junior official in Donghai, Jiangsu since our ancestors. The East China Sea is Haizhou, and now it is the end of Longhai Road. I was born in Haizhou. When I was four years old, my father went to Shaobo Town to be a small official and took us there. I don't remember all about Haizhou, but I still have a feeling for Haizhou dialect, because there are many Haizhou accents in my father's Yangzhou dialect. I have lived in Shao Bo for nearly two years, but I live in the Palace of Eternal Life. The courtyard of Wanshou Palace is very big and quiet. The canal is at the door. The river bank is very high, so I often throw tiles into the river to play. Shaobo has an iron cow bay, where an iron cow is suppressing it. My father's errands often take me to see it, ride it and touch it. I almost forgot about the situation in town, too. I only remember studying in a family's private school in the town, where I met a good friend named Jiang. I often go to his house to play, and at night I sit with him on the trunk of a fallen dead tree in his deserted garden and chat, reluctant to go home. This is my first good friend, but unfortunately he died in his teens; Remember that he is thin, maybe it is lung disease?

At the age of six, my father moved his family to Yangzhou. Later, I welcomed my grandparents. My father has been an official in Jiangxi for several years, and my second brother and I have been to Jiangxi for one year. But my hometown has always lived in Yangzhou. I went to primary school in Yangzhou and didn't graduate; Go to high school and graduate; I went to middle school and graduated. My English is due to a Mr. Huang in high school, who has passed away. And Mr Chen Chuntai, who is now a famous math teacher in Beiping. These two gentlemen explained English clearly, which aroused my interest in learning. I only hate myself for not learning English well, and I am ashamed of these two teachers. There is also a Mr. Dai, who has already passed away. I learned Chinese from his old man's house when I was in his evening school after the Revolution of 1911. I graduated from high school. I was eighteen, and I was admitted to Peking University Preparatory School that year. Since then, I haven't been in Yangzhou often.

In the winter when I was eighteen, my parents married me to Yangzhou. My wife, Ms. Wu Zhongqian, is from Hangzhou and actually grew up in Yangzhou. She has never been to Hangzhou; That was the first time to accompany me later. She later died of lung disease in Yangzhou. I once wrote an article for her, For a Dead Woman. My grandfather had been dead for several years when I married her. Grandma died a year after her marriage. They are all buried in Yangzhou, so my ancestors lived in Yangzhou. Later, the dead woman was also buried in this ancestor. My mother passed it two years before the Anti-Japanese War, and my father passed it four months before the victory of the Anti-Japanese War. Unfortunately, I'm not in Yangzhou. They were also buried in that ancestral home. What makes me sad is the death of my second daughter! She has a good temper, loves reading, is responsible and is best for her friends. I'm an adult. I don't know what happened. I finished it in a day and a half! She was also buried in the ancestral hall. I have nine children. Besides the second daughter, another boy died in Yangzhou before he was one year old. The other four children born to his dead wife have lived in their hometown in Yangzhou for many years. This hometown was not dissolved until the early summer of this year, but there is still an elderly aunt there.

The relationship between my family and Yangzhou is probably enough for the ancients to say "born in Sri Lanka, died in Sri Lanka and sang in Sri Lanka". Now the four children born of his deceased wife have all claimed to be from Yangzhou; I grew up in Yangzhou more than them, so I should be regarded as a native of Yangzhou. But in the past, I have been riding on the wall so carelessly, and more often I called myself from Zhejiang. Why? This is partly because the newspaper is in Zhejiang and consistent; Half there is something else. The first reason is that the place of origin is not important. At that time, being a cosmopolitan, even the nationality felt narrow, let alone the nationality of provinces and counties. At that time, I thought the hometown association in college was the most boring. Almost all the people I live with are from Yangzhou, but I don't go to Jiangsu or Yangzhou Association because I am from Zhejiang. However, although he is from Shaoxing, Zhejiang, he has never come into contact with an authentic Zhejiang person, so he also

No one dragged me to Zhejiang Association, let alone Shaoxing Association. Maybe this is the advantage of amphibious or wall riding? However, after leaving school, I often go to Shaoxing people. Because I can't speak Shaoxing dialect, I know almost nothing about Shaoxing except the flower carving and Lanting, so I often have to admit that I am a fake Shaoxing person. It's half a joke, but it's a bit embarrassing.

Another reason is that I hate Yangzhou people a little; I hate the meanness and vanity of Yangzhou people. Small eyes like beans, empty bluff, stingy without examples. For example, a late member of the Central Committee of Yangzhou was walking down the street in a chartered car. Besides pulling a rickshaw, four people were pushing and running beside it. I once wrote a short article pointing out these problems of Yangzhou people. Later, this article was included in the collection of essays "You and Me", which was rejected by the Commercial Press for fear of "gossiping about Yangzhou" again. Of course, this is also because they always think that I am from Zhejiang, and it will offend Yangzhou people if Zhejiang people call me Yangzhou people. But I don't deny the benefits of Yangzhou. I once wrote an article "Summer in Yangzhou", and I also mentioned the peach blossoms in Fuyuan Temple in Yangzhou in "Looking at Flowers". Besides, now that I'm old, I feel stingy and empty, which is rustic, and it's not just Yangzhou people. A long time ago, I used to

I promised people that I was from Shaoxing, partly because Shaoxing people were a little angry, but Yangzhou people seemed too smart. In fact, Yangzhou people are not angry. My friend Mr. Ren (Erbei) has been running a middle school for so many years. No matter whether people pay attention to it or not, it is not enough to be "angry"! Of course Shaoxing people are angry, but there may be other things I hate, but I don't know. This may be Q's idea? However, I did gradually develop feelings with Yangzhou.

Yangzhou is really a famous place as some people say. Needless to say, Yangzhou in Li Dou's Record of Yangzhou Original Boat is enviable. But now it is declining, and the economy is declining by leaps and bounds. Just look at those listless salt merchants. Yangzhou people are called Jiangbei Lao in Shanghai, and this name means the lower class in one sentence. Jiangbei was bullied in Shanghai, learned a little Shanghai dialect and pretended to be a Shanghainese. At this point, they can get carried away and bully the old people in the new Jiangbei. This has developed the inferiority complex of Yangzhou people. Since the Anti-Japanese War, many Yangzhou people have come to the southwest, mostly claiming to be Shanghainese, relying on that little Shanghai dialect; Even if there is no such thing, he still calls himself a Shanghainese. In fact, Yangzhou people also have their pride in the local area. They call the people in the north of Xuzhou "Kuzi", and those people are talking about Kuzi. They laugh at Zhenjiang people who speak hillbilly and Nanjing people who speak Lickitung dialect, although both places are in the south of the Yangtze River. English is what they call foul language. Of course, it was Man Zi who said this. However, these words have to be said at home with the door closed. Look at Shanghai. I'm half as short as a horse. I dare not say anything. Yangzhou is really declining!

I am also an old man in Jiangbei, and a lot of Yangzhou accents are signs, but I don't want to be a Shanghainese. Shanghainese are too cunning. Besides, Shanghai is too strange to me, and the degree of strangeness is similar to Shaoxing. Because I know that Shanghai may be more prosperous than Shaoxing, but Shaoxing is my ancestral home after all, and Shanghai has nothing to do with me. But when I get old, people all over the world can't do it. I want a hometown. Mr Yu Pingbo has a poem that says "I have lost my hometown". In fact, he lost his hometown and found another one; What is enviable is that Suzhou is mentioned in his poems, and Suzhou is his hometown. His childhood was spent in Suzhou, so every bit is dear and warm, and his childhood memory is the simplest and truest, with the deepest and longest influence; All kinds of joys and sorrows are the most interesting in retrospect. "Blue light smells like childhood", but it's not just blue light, everything in childhood is like it. In this case, if you spend your childhood there, even if it is your hometown, is it similar? In this way, only Yangzhou can be regarded as my hometown. What's more, my family is "born in Sri Lanka, died in Sri Lanka and sang in Sri Lanka"? Therefore, no matter whether Yangzhou is good or bad, I should always be a Yangzhou native.

Written on September 25th 1946.

(Original load 1946 10, person, volume 1, period 10)

Buy a book.

Buying books is also my hobby, just like smoking. But I'm not very good at these two things, especially buying books. In this place of Beiping, the books bought like me are really cold and gray. However, what this article wants to talk about is neither know-how nor experience. It's just a short story. It doesn't hurt to think about it. When I was in my hometown middle school, my family gave me one yuan pocket money every month. Most of them worked for a Guangyi bookstore and got back some magazines and new books. The boss surnamed Zhang, a little jerk, always holding a hookah; But he is very nice, and we don't think he is bourgeois. He is willing to keep accounts for our children. I always owe him more than one yuan when I miss my relatives on holidays. He didn't rush it; Talk it over with your family and pay back one yuan first. At that time, I bought a favorite book from Zhang-Buddhism (by Jia Fengzhen, published by Zhonghua Book Company). I didn't buy second-hand books at that time because I had them at home. Only once, I don't know where I found the name of Wen Xin Diao Long. I was anxious to read it, so I went to the second-hand bookstore for a stroll: one company took out a copy of Guangzhou and asked for one yuan, but could not afford it; Later, I bought another one. The book is also good, but the paper and ink are even worse, but it only cost a small ocean triangle. This book is still there. Two or three years ago, it was changed to leather with magnetic blue paper, but it seems to be out of place.

I came to Peiping to study philosophy, but I still like it.