"Wonderful Congress" has a debate topic "Do you want to disguise yourself in order to integrate into the collective?"

Zang Hongfei, the opposing party, is a rock musician and stutters, but one of his views touched me very much:

We all go our own way in our short lives, not that I want to hold a group, but that I want to go this way. Look back, oh, you are on this road, too.

I used to envy those who dared to go it alone. Even if a person is full and travels everywhere, he can still have an aura of hordes.

The most restrictive thing for you in the group is that you have been taught to integrate into the group since childhood, so sharpen your head and want to cooperate with their performances. However, more often, a group of people together will not let you learn any useful skills, on the contrary, it is the beginning of depravity.

Living in the same narrow environment, everyone has emotions, which will inevitably affect people around him. So, one second he was talking and laughing with you, and the next he was inexplicably black-faced, leaving you to think for yourself, not to mention the reason. You are angry because you are narrow-minded and ignorant.

If the environment is not good, it is a waste of life to integrate into the collective.

02

My major in college is mathematics and applied mathematics, and the courses are all mathematical analysis, complex variable function and differential geometry, which not only stifled my little enthusiasm for mathematics in high school, but made me fall in love with the tone of "I am a melancholy guest in the world, recalling my life in the voice of heartbroken".

I study Tang poetry and Song poetry in professional courses, rhyme and enlightenment, white fragrant poetry, and elective courses are all opened by Chinese teachers, and I write small compositions in the dormitory every day.

I feel lonely as never before.

The dormitory I live in is more like a game room and a chat room, and my roommates can't leave the game without chatting. Although I was brought to into the pit by them, it may be because I was born with a bad feeling about games, and my interest in games has always been like that, not to mention technology.

Whenever they talk about games, I am basically air. If I don't want to be air, I must play with them, but it's a waste of time. I borrowed a lot of books in the dormitory, only to find that the dormitory is not a place to study at all.

Some roommates talk too much nonsense. If you come back from the library, you will be laughed at. If you don't want to tell them where to go, you will be subjected to cold violence. Even study will be laughed at or treated coldly, which is probably the general atmosphere in China University.

I don't want to sleep before two o'clock every morning, and staying up late on weekends is "politically correct." I can't change the bad habit of staying up late at all, and I often feel mentally tortured.

When I first entered the university, I was less than 18 years old, and I was relatively straightforward. I can't understand what they said. When you are isolated, you will only feel sad. Sometimes, as long as you don't take the initiative to talk to someone, no one will come to you.

03

Later, when I joined the student union, the information I sent or received was in a unified style-"Please reply when you receive it", "If you don't receive it, you will be at your own risk" and "Please be sure ...".

Every day, I am surrounded by all kinds of people, saying insincere words, and even being poked around for no reason, just because I am regarded as an imaginary enemy. When I am short of breath, I always think, I don't want to be with you idiots who only eat and sleep every day and haven't finished reading a book in a semester.

I have always felt that universities are more attractive than society, that is, they don't have to consider the complicated human relations in society, and they don't have to do things that they can't help themselves. But now the social atmosphere around us is too strong, either premature maturity or shameless innocence, but there is no state that college students should have.

After work, I try to integrate into the group, and I try my best to help my colleagues as long as they have needs. However, I am too tired because I don't know how to refuse.

The old teacher had only one class a day, which was inconvenient, so I changed with him. The old teacher couldn't attend class because she married her daughter-in-law, so I gave it to her. The old teacher can't go to the evening self-study because he is not feeling well, so I will keep it for him. Later, the old teacher wanted to play mahjong because he lost too much. Let me go to his class.

The group instilled in me an idea that if you can't even play mahjong well, you can't teach it well. As soon as class was over, the teachers got together to play cards and stayed up all night. In the office, the most talked about every day is the war situation last night, which card won hundreds because of its wit, and who is "Qinyuan Spring-Snow (Evil)", which is rotten upside down.

At first, people thought I was familiar with computer operation, so they asked me to write papers in each unit and exercise my ability by the way. Later, I was the only one writing the test paper for the group. Not only do you hand out the test papers, but you also have to go to the mimeograph room to print them yourself, thousands of copies at a time, and you have to hold them on the teacher's desk after printing.

Even more exaggerated, the most respected old teacher asked me to send the test paper to the students by telephone remote control and take it back to help him correct it.

What made me speechless most was that an old teacher heard that I could write, and he didn't know whether it was ironic or not, so he asked me to help him type a personal summary of thousands of words into an electronic draft. Why didn't it explode in situ?

04

In the book Shouting in the Drizzle, Yu Hua wrote this passage:

I stopped pretending to have many friends, but returned to loneliness, and I started a lonely life with the real me. Sometimes I can't stand the pain of emptiness because of loneliness, but I would rather maintain my self-esteem in this way than exchange shame for that superficial friend.

Blind conformity is the beginning of mediocrity. If you pretend to be integrated into the collective of ordinary people, you will not only be assimilated, but also lose yourself.

Ordinary happiness is easy to be destroyed, as long as fate plays a little joke. In order to keep it, we must be as strong as possible.

Just as I slowly forgot my poems and the distance, I suddenly woke up and began to say no to those unreasonable demands. Although this will lose some contacts and interests, I think it is really boring to cater to others with my own ease and happiness.

I firmly believe that I don't share the same sky, I gradually become silent, I don't deliberately cater to anyone, and I maintain a lukewarm relationship with most people. I try to spare my time and energy to show more enthusiasm and spoil to students and readers.

Now I still insist on giving students exams from 3 pm to 5 pm every Sunday, and handing out my own papers, but they are all sent directly to the owner of the printing shop, and I pay for them myself. Three classes per semester 1200 yuan.

I deeply feel selfish and deeply contradictory, but my time is too precious to print a lifetime test paper for everyone on a machine that smells like ink.

05

Chat with Josie Joe, the author of the new book "After separation, I became what you like".

She said, "I'm in a hurry to go to Beijing on Thursday and the book company on Friday. A lot of things are piled together. At the critical moment, I have to support myself. This feeling is terrible, and suddenly I feel that socializing is meaningless. "

I said: "I basically don't take the initiative to submit large manuscripts now, and I rarely speak among dozens of authors gathered by Daniel." I can't hold a group with anyone because I'm just a math teacher. "

Some readers left me a message. I like you because you didn't become a title party, and you didn't use words like "bang bang", "go to bed" and "sleep" to beat the opening rate. What you wrote was all in your mind.

A few days ago, a company wanted to buy my official WeChat account, but they needed to manage and stipulate what I should write. Now all the numbers that can be made big must be operated by the team. As long as they follow their routine, my income will certainly be multiplied several times.

It sounded exciting, but I refused. Many readers are sincere to me, and I don't want others to reply.

Of course, there are also many people who complain that I shirk, advertise, and say that my writing is worse than garbage, cursing my family and insulting with foul language. I didn't respond, nor did I say who I was blocking. I just swallow my pride and try to be funny in the message area.

On the fourteenth day of the first month of this year, I left my hometown and cried for a long time in the garage of the cinema after writing a film review on my mobile phone in the car. The fuse is that I live well in my hometown. I woke up the next day and found that my mother had gone to work on the construction site, doing that kind of heavy and tired coolie, with only 100 yuan a day.

Sometimes I feel helpless when I receive advertisements and push each other, but I can only write. This skill can be realized. Therefore, only in this way can I become stronger, earn more and let my parents finish their work as soon as possible.

06

You watched the surging crowd pass by you. You also have an ordinary face, an ordinary job, an ordinary life, an ordinary life, and even a heartbeat is an "ordinary ordinary" beating.

Are you really willing to walk in a huge team with a beer belly and walk to the end of your life?

Some people surf, some dive, and some go with the flow. What kind of person do you want to be?