A portrait

Xingfu Xiao

School begins. The first class is geometry. Standing at the door with a big triangle and compass in his hand, Mr. Wang is our new head teacher. His burly figure, dark face and bushy eyebrows simply don't show that he teaches geometry. The more I look at him, the more he looks like the "black sigh" in The Legend of Heroes of New Children.

In class, he stood up straight and looked at everyone, then bowed to let everyone sit down, full of military demeanor. Maybe it really is a demobilized soldier! It seems that he must be quite good.

Well, no matter how bad he is, no one can interfere with my "little hobby" in class anyway. To tell the truth, my "little hobby" in class is drawing, drawing. Almost all the teachers who have taught us have taken photos in my notebook. Today, I saw "Black Sigh", and my hands have long been itchy. So I immediately drew on the geometry cover.

After more than half a class, I didn't hear any news about "Black Sigh", but I drew a funny portrait-the "Black Sigh" rode on a war horse, waving a big triangle and compass in his hand, and kept shouting: "Go, March on geometry!"

After painting, I gave it to my deskmate Xiao Qiang and kept telling him. Who knows, I was watching it excitedly when suddenly a hand reached behind me and took it away. I was afraid that the teacher would see me, so I quickly said, "Stop it, stop it, I'll show you later ..." I turned around, alas, no! It was Mr. Wang who took the painting.

I immediately became nervous and my heart kept beating like a fish that had just landed. I saw his thick eyebrows tightly wrinkled, as if twisted into a black rope. I beat drums in my heart and thought, "A catastrophe is imminent, and this' reprimand' is doomed!" Suddenly, he put the picture down again and looked at me. He just smiled and jokingly said, "It's a good painting, but it's similar." My beard is not that long. " After that, I walked back to the podium and began to talk about the class with great aplomb.

A few days later, Xiao Qiang suddenly told me that Mr. Wang asked me to go to the math teaching and research group. Unexpectedly, Mr. Wang saw me coming and asked me with a smile, "You like painting, don't you?" There will be a parent-teacher conference tomorrow. Would you please be responsible for beautifying the blackboard in the classroom? ""good! "Of course I would. I'm here to draw, not to prove that two angles are equal. Why not?

I painted until the evening and finally tidied up the blackboard. I hooked the blackboard with lace, and on the left I drew two young pioneers holding two clusters of flowers, as if welcoming parents ... Then Mr. Wang came in. He looked at the blackboard and nodded and praised: "Yes, yes, this painting is very tasty, but its head is a little big." The ratio of human body to head is 6: 1. Look at these two people, it's like dancing with a big-headed doll. "My face suddenly turned red and my heart was pounding.

I went home with Miss Wang. On the way, he talked about national affairs from small things in class, talked about today and tomorrow, and sometimes asked me, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" Do you want to be a painter? "Seeing that I didn't answer, he went on to say," I like painting, especially portraits, just like you. "

Hey, after the parent-teacher conference tomorrow morning, come to my house this afternoon and we will study together, ok? ""good. "I was tempted by his interest. I looked at Mr. Wang excitedly and saw him smile so kindly. " Be sure to come tomorrow afternoon and bring your geometry book! ""... "I'm so excited that I don't know what to say to the teacher. A cool evening breeze blew, making my heart sweet. ...

The next morning, I reviewed my lessons and drew a full-length portrait of Teacher Zhang. In the afternoon, I ran to Mr. Wang's house with my geometry book and that painting. When I saw Mr. Wang drawing something alone at the table, I called out softly, "Mr. Wang." When Mr. Wang saw me coming, he said happily, "You see, I'm busy today, too. Let's see how I drew this portrait of the chairman? " I walked over, ah, this portrait of Chairman Mao is really well painted, as if Chairman Mao was smiling at me, and there are still a few words written below:

To Xiao Fuxing:

I hope you remember Chairman Mao's words: study hard and make progress every day.

Wang Zhibin

"For me?" "Well, what about yours?" "That's great! Miss Wang, I'll give you one, too! " "Yes, what photos? I handed him the photo. Miss Wang looked at my painting, narrowed her eyes and said, "It's just like me!" Then he said half jokingly and half seriously, "which one?" Why did you remove the newspaper from the geometry textbook? " My face suddenly burned with shame.

Extended data

Mr. Ye Shengtao carefully scrutinized and revised The Portrait from the following six aspects.

0 1, correct inaccurate words.

In addition to changing "a portrait" into "a portrait" and "book cover" into "Bao Shu paper" mentioned in the article, there is also a composition that says "I showed it to my deskmate Xiao Qiang and kept telling him". Teacher Ye changed "non-stop" into "quiet", which is more in line with the actual situation of the class at that time.

What is written in the composition is the photo taken by Mr. Wang. Mr. Ye Lao changed the word "painting" to "geometry textbook" because Mr. Wang took a textbook with pictures, not pictures. The composition also says that Teacher Wang "talks about today and tomorrow, and keeps asking me". Mr. Yip changed "always asking me" to "finally asking him" because Mr. Wang can't always ask the same question, so it is reasonable for Mr. Yip to change it.

02. Change the sentences that are not fluent into fluent ones.

I wrote in my composition: "I am still shouting:' Go, March on geometry!'" "The words used in this sentence are inaccurate, because shouting is shouting and cheering, and the picture can't make any sound." Mr. Ye Lao changed it to spit out a few words from his mouth ... "This not only conforms to the meaning of the picture, but also expresses it accurately.

In the composition, I wrote "my face suddenly turned red", and the last sentence was "my face suddenly blushed". These two sentences are not true, because I can't see the change of my face at the moment. Mr. Yip Lao changed them to "My face is hot at once" and "My face is hot with shame at once", which is authentic.

I was seduced by his interest in the composition. This sentence didn't make it clear what "I" was evoked by Mr. Wang. Mr. Yip adjusted the word order and changed it to "My interest was seduced by him". The composition also wrote: "I saw his thick eyebrows frowning, as if twisted into a black rope." The metaphor of "twisting into a black rope" is inappropriate and exaggerated. Mr. Ye Lao changed it to "I saw him frowning", which was not only concise, but also in line with the actual situation at that time.

03. Break down long sentences into short ones.

For example, "Mr. Wang standing at the door with a big triangle and a big compass is our new class teacher" is changed to "our new class teacher, Mr. Wang, standing at the door of the classroom with a big triangle and a big compass". Change "Two Young Pioneers on the left holding two clusters of flowers" to "Two Young Pioneers on the left holding flowers", so that long sentences are broken into short sentences, which are not only clear and clear, but also catchy to read.

04, delete the repeated words.

There are many such modifications. For example, "he talked about national affairs from the small things in his class, today and tomorrow." In this sentence, the word "le" is used too much, which seems cumbersome. Mr. Yip Lao deleted it. Another example is "I saw Mr. Wang drawing by himself at the table". The word "by the table" is unnecessary, and Mr. Ye Lao has also been deleted. Deleting repeated words and sentences will be much cleaner and more concise.

05. Add words to make the expression clear and complete.

For example, composition, I like painting, especially portraits, just like you. Mr. Ye Lao changed "I especially like painting portraits" to "I especially like painting portraits". Because "especially portraits" can also be understood as pictures that especially like portraits, and with the word "like painting", the meaning is very clear.

For another example, in the composition, "Qiang suddenly told me that Mr. Wang asked me to go to the math teaching and research group." I didn't expect Mr. Wang to see me coming, so he smiled and asked ... "The two sentences here are not well connected and don't reflect the meaning of' unexpected'. Mr. Ye Lao added "I thought I was going to be scolded", which made the sentences more closely connected and the meaning expressed more accurately and completely.

06. Correct typos and improper use of punctuation marks.

There are several places in the composition where "image" is written as "image", and Teacher Ye corrected them one by one. There are also many changes in punctuation marks, some commas are changed to periods, some periods are changed to commas, and exclamation points are changed to periods. These changes are worthy of careful consideration and very reasonable.

There are also several obvious punctuation errors, such as "I called out softly:' Miss Wang'." You can't use a colon in the middle of this sentence. "The heart is like a fish that has just landed, jumping." The middle should be separated by commas, and there is no need to pause "fluttering".

"Just like welcoming parents …" "This makes my heart sweet …" The ellipsis used in the two sentences is also unnecessary. These are all revised by Mr. Ye Lao, which shows how carefully and seriously Mr. Ye Lao revised this composition.

Edited on April 8, 2020

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Five comments

Pretender 009 1

I told you this is a modified version of the portrait! ! ! Send things everywhere! ! ! I want to report you! ! ! Hey, hey! ! !

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Full portrait of Xiao Fuxing

1963, when I was in the third grade, I wrote a composition called portrait, which was written by the teacher who taught me plane geometry. His teaching is very interesting, and he is also very interesting, which makes him feel that this composition is very interesting. Recommended by my Chinese teacher, this composition won the prize in the Beijing Children's Composition Competition. Of course, I'm glad. One day, the Chinese teacher brought me a thick big book and said to me, "Your composition is going to be printed into a book. Do you know who modified it for you? " I opened my eyes wide, some puzzling. "It's Mr. Ye Shengtao!" The teacher handed me the big notebook and said, "Look how carefully Teacher Ye revised it. You can learn a lot from it! " "I opened my notebook and saw that there were 20 winning essays in this essay contest. When I turned to my composition, I suddenly froze: the first thing that caught my eye was the red revised symbols and the small characters added after the revision, which were dense, and red circles, hooks, straight lines and curves were everywhere on several pages. The composition is like someone had a major operation, bleeding and dressing. When I got home, I carefully read the revision of my composition by Teacher Ye Lao several times. The title "a portrait" was changed to "a portrait", and I immediately felt the accuracy of the words. There are many changes in such places, and there are many places where long sentences are broken into short sentences. I remember one thing clearly: "Why did you remove the cover of the geometry textbook?" Mr. Ye Lao changed it to: "Why did you remove Bao Shu's paper from the geometry textbook? Delete the verb "Bao" in the original sentence to make the sentence clean and standardized. It is more accurate to change the "book cover" to "Bao Shu paper", because the book cover can be considered as the cover of a book. I really benefited a lot. After all, watching the fire from the other side of the bank is different from being there. This not only made me see all kinds of faults in my composition, but also made me realize the arduousness of literary career: it is difficult to achieve great success without great efforts and meticulous work. Although I have never seen Mr. Ye's face, I have been corrected by him seriously, peacefully and enthusiastically, like a spring breeze. Mr. Ye Lao wrote a short comment at the back of my composition: This composition is full of concrete facts, revealing his love for Mr. Wang. Xiao Fuxing could not have written so kindly and naturally if he had not been deeply moved by these things about painting. This essay has built up my confidence in writing. I was only 15 years old at that time. When I was a teenager, I was able to get the guidance and encouragement of a great writer who was famous in the literary world at home and abroad. My inner excitement is beyond words, and my confidence and fantasy rise like a bird. That's a mind that only children of that age can have. This summer vacation, the Chinese teacher came to me and said, "Teacher Ye Shengtao wants to invite you to his home!" " "I'm surprised. It is natural for a great writer like Mr. Ye Shengtao to meet a junior high school student. That day, the weather was fine. In the afternoon, I came to a quiet alley in Dongsi North Street. Mr. Elymus's granddaughter Ye Xiao Mo met me at the door. The courtyard is a typical quadrangle, bright and elegant. Just entering the yard, a green Parthenocissus wall came into view. The summer heat was reduced a lot, and the sun turned green and jumped, like a gentle elf flashing a fuzzy light spot on it. Ye Xiao Mo led me to the living room, while Mr. Elymus was waiting at the door. When he met me, he shook hands with me like an adult, which made me feel a lot shorter. After sitting down, he asked my age in strong Suzhou dialect and said with a smile, "You are the same age as Xiao Mo!" So casual and kind, the mysterious aura on the writer's head disappeared, and my sense of bondage disappeared. The more approachable a great writer is, it turns out that he is as kind as an ordinary grandfather. I want to be interesting. That afternoon, Mr. Ye Lao didn't talk about my award-winning composition or writing. He didn't teach me the secret of literary creation, the life guide of elements and so on. On the contrary, he asked me several times about my academic performance in various subjects. I said that I won excellent medals for several years in a row, and my academic performance in arts and sciences was not bad. He said, "Great! People who love literature should not only read liberal arts books, but must read more books in various subjects. " He asked me to recite Chinese historical dynasties, but I didn't recite them, and some dynasties still recited them backwards. He added: "We China people must know our own history, not to mention people who are engaged in literature." I know this is a criticism of me and an expectation of me. We talked harmoniously, as if I were not a child, but an adult and an old friend of his. The earnest, simple and inclusive expectation contained in his kindness melted my little heart, so that I don't know when dusk came and quietly dyed the window lattice of the sunset. I saw the Parthenocissus tricuspidata on the wall in the yard. In the evening, it was green and gloomy, like a thick lake, reflected on the glass window of the living room, constantly swaying and looking vivid. At that time, I had just finished reading an essay "Climbing Tiger" written by Mr. Ye Lao, and I asked, "Is that" Climbing Tiger "about them?" He smiled and nodded: "Yes, that was written a few years ago!" " "Say that finish, he narrowed his eyes and looked at the ivy outside the window. I don't know what the old man remembered at that moment. I should be glad that I met a writer for the first time in my life, and it turned out to be such a great writer, an epileptic with exemplary personality and works. His equal and sincere dialogue with a child made my 15 summer full of vigor and vitality, as if it had grown up that summer. I seem to know or vaguely understand that this is done by the writer, and this is written by the writer. At the same time, before my eyes, Parthenocissus tricuspidata is always so green.

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The full text of Xiao Fuxing's A Portrait.

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Where can I find an original portrait of Xiao Fuxing?

The first class is geometry. Mr. Wang is standing at the door with a big triangle and compass in his hand. He is our new master. His burly figure, dark face and thick eyelashes really don't show that he teaches geometry. The more I look at him, the more he looks like the "black sigh" in the biography of new generation heroes. He straightened up, looked at everyone and bowed to them. It seems that he must be good at humming, whether he is good or not. Anyway, no one can interfere with my "little hobby" in class. To tell the truth, my "hobbies" in class are painting, dyeing and painting. Almost all the teachers who have taught us have taken photos in my notebook. Today, I watched "Black Sigh" again, and my hands have been itchy for a long time. I will take a geometric photo immediately. But he painted a funny portrait-"black sigh" riding on a war horse, waving a big triangle and compasses in his hand, and kept shouting: "Go, March on geometry!" After painting, I gave it to my deskmate Xiao Qiang and kept telling him that the painting was interesting. Suddenly, I put out a hand behind my back and took it away. I was afraid that the teacher would see it, so I quickly said, "Stop it, stop it, turn around and let you see it …" I just turned around, alas, no! It was Mr. Wang who took the painting at first. I immediately became nervous and my heart kept beating like a fish that had just landed. I saw his heavy eyebrows wrinkled like a black rope, and he was playing drums in his heart. I thought to myself, "disaster is imminent, and this' reprimand' is going to be decided!" Suddenly, he put the painting down again, looked at me, just smiled gently and said jokingly, "It's not bad, but it's' similar' and the beard is not that long." Then he walked back to the podium and spoke calmly. A few days later, Xiao Qiang suddenly told me that Mr. Wang asked me to go to the arithmetic teaching and research group. Unexpectedly, Teacher Wang saw me and asked me with a smile, "Do you like painting?" There will be a parent-teacher conference tomorrow. Would you please be responsible for beautifying the blackboard in the classroom? ""good! "Of course I would. I'm here to draw, not to prove that two angles are equal. Why not? I have been drawing the blackboard until evening, which is considered a good arrangement. I surrounded the blackboard with lace. On the left, I drew two young pioneers holding two clusters of flowers, as if welcoming their parents ... Then Mr. Wang came in. He looked at the blackboard and nodded and praised, "Yes, yes, this painting is very tasty, but its head is a little big. The ratio of personal life to head is 6: 1. Look at this. It's almost like dancing with a big-headed doll. "My face suddenly turned red and my heart was pounding. I went home with Miss Wang. On the way, he talked about national affairs from the small things in class, talked about today and tomorrow, and sometimes asked me, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" Do you want to be a painter? When he saw that I didn't answer, he went on to say, "I like painting as much as you, especially people." After the parent-teacher conference tomorrow morning, come to my house in the afternoon and we will study together, ok? " "Good" I was attracted by his interest. I looked at Mr. Wang excitedly and saw him smile so kindly. "Be sure to come tomorrow afternoon and bring your geometry book! ""... "I'm so excited that I don't know what to say to the teacher. A cool evening breeze blew, which made my heart sweet ... The next morning, I reviewed my lessons and drew a portrait of teacher Zhang. In the afternoon, I took my geometry book and the picture and ran to Mr. Wang's house. When I saw Mr. Wang drawing something alone at the table, I called "Mr. Wang" softly and said happily, "Mr. Wang saw me coming. I walked over, ah, this portrait of Chairman Mao is really well drawn, as if Chairman Mao were smiling at me. There are several words written below: To Xiao Fuxing: I hope you will remember Chairman Mao's words: study hard and go to Wang Zhibin every day. "For me?" "Well, what about yours?" "That's great! Miss Wang, I'll give you one, too! " "Yes, what photos? I handed him the picture. Miss Wang looked at my painting, narrowed her eyes and said, "It's just like me!" Then he said, half jokingly and half seriously, "What about that one? Why did you remove Bao Shu's paper from the geometry textbook? "My face suddenly burned with shame /7524/

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The full text of Xiao Fuxing's A Portrait.

A portrait Xiao Fuxing started school. The first class is geometry. Standing at the door with a big triangle and compass in his hand, Mr. Wang is our new head teacher. His burly figure, dark face and bushy eyebrows simply don't show that he teaches geometry. The more I look at him, the more he looks like the "black sigh" in The Legend of Heroes of New Children. In class, he stood up straight and looked at everyone, then bowed to let everyone sit down, full of military demeanor. Maybe it really is a demobilized soldier! It seems that he must be quite good. Well, no matter how bad he is, no one can interfere with my "little hobby" in class anyway. To tell the truth, my "little hobby" in class is drawing, drawing. Almost all the teachers who have taught us have taken photos in my notebook. Today, I saw "Black Sigh", and my hands have long been itchy. So I immediately drew on the geometry cover. After more than half a class, I didn't hear any news about "Black Sigh", but I drew a funny portrait-the "Black Sigh" rode on a war horse, waving a big triangle and compass in his hand, and kept shouting: "Go, March on geometry!" After painting, I gave it to my deskmate Xiao Qiang and kept telling him. Who knows, I was watching it excitedly when suddenly a hand reached behind me and took it away. I was afraid that the teacher would see me, so I quickly said, "Stop it, stop it, I'll show you later ..." I turned around, alas, no! It was Mr. Wang who took the painting. I immediately became nervous and my heart kept beating like a fish that had just landed. I saw his thick eyebrows tightly wrinkled, as if twisted into a black rope. I beat drums in my heart and thought, "A catastrophe is imminent, and this' reprimand' is doomed!" Suddenly, he put the picture down again and looked at me. He just smiled and jokingly said, "It's a good painting, but it's similar." My beard is not that long. " After that, I walked back to the podium and began to talk about the class with great aplomb. A few days later, Xiao Qiang suddenly told me that Mr. Wang asked me to go to the math teaching and research group. Unexpectedly, Mr. Wang saw me coming and asked me with a smile, "You like painting, don't you?" There will be a parent-teacher conference tomorrow. Would you please be responsible for beautifying the blackboard in the classroom? ""good! "Of course I would. I'm here to draw, not to prove that two angles are equal. Why not? I painted until the evening and finally tidied up the blackboard. I hooked the blackboard with lace, and on the left I drew two young pioneers holding two clusters of flowers, as if welcoming parents ... Then Mr. Wang came in. He looked at the blackboard and nodded and praised, "Yes, yes, this painting is very tasty, but its head is a little big." "The ratio of human body to head is 6: 1. Look at these two people, it's like dancing with a big-headed doll. " My face suddenly turned red and my heart was pounding. I went home with Miss Wang. On the way, he talked about national affairs from small things in class, talked about today and tomorrow, and sometimes asked me, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" Do you want to be a painter? "Seeing that I didn't answer, he went on to say," I like painting, especially portraits, just like you. "Hey, after the parent-teacher conference tomorrow morning, come to my house in the afternoon and we will study together, ok?" "Very good." I was seduced by his interest. I looked at Mr. Wang excitedly and saw him smile so kindly. "Be sure to come tomorrow afternoon and bring your geometry book!" "..." I'm so excited that I don't know what to say to the teacher. A cool evening breeze blew, which made my heart sweet ... The next morning, I reviewed my lessons and drew a full-length portrait of Teacher Zhang. In the afternoon, I ran to Mr. Wang's house with my geometry book and that painting. When I saw Mr. Wang drawing something alone at the table, I called out softly, "Mr. Wang." When Mr. Wang saw me coming, he said happily, "You see, I'm busy today, too. Let's see how I drew this portrait of the chairman? " I walked over, ah, this portrait of Chairman Mao is really well drawn, as if Chairman Mao were smiling at me. There are several words written below: To Xiao Fuxing: I hope you will remember Chairman Mao's words: study hard and go to Wang Zhibin every day. "For me?" "Well, what about yours?" "That's great! Miss Wang, I'll give you one, too! " "Yes, what photos? I handed him the photo. Miss Wang looked at my painting, narrowed her eyes and said, "It's just like me!" Then he said half jokingly and half seriously, "which one?" Why did you remove the newspaper from the geometry textbook? " My face suddenly burned with shame. Mr. Ye Shengtao carefully scrutinized and revised the composition of a portrait, mainly from the following six aspects. 0 1. Correct inaccurate words. In addition to changing "a portrait" to "a portrait" and "book cover" to "Bao Shu paper" mentioned in the article, there is also "I showed it to my deskmate Xiao Qiang and kept telling him". Mr. Yip Lao changed "non-stop" to "quiet", which is more in line with it. What is written in the composition is the photo taken by Mr. Wang. Mr. Ye Lao changed the word "painting" to "geometry textbook" because Mr. Wang took a textbook with pictures, not pictures. The composition also says that Teacher Wang "talks about today and tomorrow, and keeps asking me". Mr. Yip changed "always asking me" to "finally asking him" because Mr. Wang can't always ask the same question, so it is reasonable for Mr. Yip to change it. 02, change the sentence that is not fluent into a fluent composition, and write "I am still shouting:' Go, March towards geometry!'" "The words used in this sentence are inaccurate, because shouting is shouting and cheering, and the picture can't make any sound." Mr. Ye Lao changed it to spit out a few words from his mouth ... "This not only conforms to the meaning of the picture, but also expresses it accurately. In the composition, I wrote "my face suddenly turned red", and the last sentence was "my face suddenly blushed". These two sentences are not true, because I can't see the change of my face at the moment. Mr. Yip Lao changed them to "My face is hot at once" and "My face is hot with shame at once", which is authentic. I was seduced by his interest in the composition. This sentence didn't make it clear what "I" was evoked by Mr. Wang. Mr. Yip adjusted the word order and changed it to "My interest was seduced by him". The composition also wrote: "I saw his thick eyebrows frowning, as if twisted into a black rope." The metaphor of "twisting into a black rope" is inappropriate and exaggerated. Mr. Ye Lao changed it to "I saw him frowning", which was not only concise, but also in line with the actual situation at that time. Break a long sentence into short sentences, for example, change "Mr. Wang standing at the door with a big triangle and a big compass is our new head teacher" to "our new head teacher, Mr. Wang, stands at the door of the classroom with a big triangle and a big compass". Change "Two Young Pioneers on the left holding two clusters of flowers" to "Two Young Pioneers on the left holding flowers", so that long sentences are broken into short sentences, which are not only clear and clear, but also catchy to read. 04. Delete duplicate words and phrases. There are many such modifications. For example, "he talked about national affairs from the small things in his class, today and tomorrow." In this sentence, the word "le" is used too much, which seems cumbersome. Mr. Yip Lao deleted it. Another example is "I saw Mr. Wang drawing by himself at the table". The word "by the table" is unnecessary, and Mr. Ye Lao has also been deleted. Deleting repeated words and sentences will be much cleaner and more concise. 05. Add words to make the expression clear and complete. In composition, I like painting, especially portraits, just like you. Mr. Ye Lao changed "You Portrait" to "You Portrait". Because "especially portraits" can also be understood as pictures that especially like portraits, and with the word "like painting", the meaning is very clear. For another example, in the composition, "Qiang suddenly told me that Mr. Wang asked me to go to the math teaching and research group." I didn't expect Mr. Wang to see me coming, so he smiled and asked ... "The two sentences here are not well connected and don't reflect the meaning of' unexpected'. Mr. Ye Lao added "I thought I was going to be scolded", which made the sentences more closely connected and the meaning expressed more accurately and completely. 06. Correct typos and improper use of punctuation marks. In several places in the composition, "Xiang" was written as "Xiang", and Teacher Ye corrected them one by one. There are also many changes in punctuation marks, some commas are changed to periods, some periods are changed to commas, and exclamation points are changed to periods. These changes are worthy of careful consideration and very reasonable. There are also several obvious punctuation errors, such as "I called out softly:' Miss Wang'". "You can't use a colon in the middle of this sentence. "The heart is like a fish that has just landed, jumping." The middle should be separated by commas, and there is no need to pause "fluttering". "Just like welcoming parents …" "This makes my heart sweet …" The ellipsis used in the two sentences is also unnecessary. These, Mr. Elymus has revised them one by one, which shows Elymus.