One day his wife said she wanted to eat loquat. He took a piece of paper from the table and wrote some words on it with a pen. After writing, he asked the servant to buy loquat. His wife took the newspaper and read it. She burst out laughing. It turned out that it said "buy five catties of pipa". Two of the five words are misspelled, and the word "loquat" is misspelled as "pipa". After his wife saw it, she wrote a doggerel in the back:
Loquat is not this kind of pipa,
It's only my poor cultural level.
If the pipa can bear fruit,
The city is full of flutes and drums.
The guy blushed when he read his wife's poem. The pronunciation of "loquat" and "pipa" is the same, both pronounce pípa, which is homophonic. But "loquat" is a kind of fruit, and "pipa" is a stringed instrument, with completely different meanings and writing methods.
There was a Wu Zetian in the Tang Dynasty. When she became emperor, she wanted to take a new name, but she felt that the existing words were not enough to express her present glory, so she wanted to create a word herself. At that time, there was a feudal superstition about the sun and the moon, and everyone thought that the sun and the moon were sacred. Wu Zetian compared herself to the sun and the moon, and she wanted to hang high in the sky forever like the sun and the moon, so she got the word that the sun and the moon were above the sky: baa.
Cattle and physics
A cow and a horse are grazing in the same trough. The cow proudly shows off: Hey, Marco, I found that I am a great cow. I made a new discovery recently.
The horse quickly asked, Niu Ge, what did you find? Don't keep me in suspense, just say it!
Niu said excitedly, now I know why physics is called physics. Do you know who founded physics?
This horse is also very knowledgeable. It said, well, it seems to be a guy named Newton, right?
The cow said: Yes, this is the buddy. Because of his great contribution to physics, in order to commemorate him, people used his ox character in physics. Speaking of physics, it is also a cow science.
Ma smiled: Hey, Niu Ge, I think you only know one thing and nothing else. How to write "Woods"? It's a cow character here, but there are some other characters. Doesn't mean anything, okay? It just means no, that is to say, physics is not bovine science.
Cow is furious: Bah, you crazy horse! Get away from me, I'm crazy about you! Hey, I am so great that I can easily understand another idiom!
example
The meat said, "See? I mean "my wife" and "my wife". There are dialects as evidence, and in some places men will call their wives' flesh and blood'. "
The old woman said: "In this way, I am a Boba character above the female role, which means I am a Boba girl and my figure is super punctual. With elegant vocabulary as evidence, people often say that swaying is to praise me for my exquisite curves. "
It's really easy for us to find advantages that we don't have, and we usually find a lot of strong evidence to prove it.
China's written legends were first created by Cang Xie. Only with written words can human beings truly enter the civilized era. The creation of characters in Cangjie was initiated by China and the source of Chinese civilization. A stone tablet of Cang Xie Temple in Sanhuali, south of Qishan County, records the legend of Cangjie's word-making.
According to the myths and legends in ancient books, Cang Xie, named Huangshi, is the official history of Xuanyuan Huangdi. According to historical records, Cang Xie with four eyes was born with virtue. He often observed the bending trend of Kuixing, observed the traces of birds and animals' hooves, and created the original characters according to their similarities, which eliminated the ugliness of knots at that time and created the foundation of civilization. He was addressed as "Cang Xie of Wen Zu".
Ancient people can only talk but can't write, so it is inconvenient to record things. Legend has it that once, Cang Xie's mother went out to pick mulberry, and Cang Er was knitting baskets at home alone. Suddenly, a friend of the same year came to tell him that a tiger on the mountain killed a yellow cow in the village and ate it. Cang Xie was so angry that he made an appointment with a partner to kill pests. Before he left, he drew a tiger on the western wall and a circle with a small dot in it, which means he won't come back until the sun goes down. When Cang Xie's mother came back, she saw a tiger painted on the wall, and there was a well next to it. She mistakenly thought that her son was driven by a tiger to jump into a well and fainted with anger. In the evening, when Cang Xie came back from hunting, he saw his mother's face sallow and dying. He asked what sadness was, and she explained the reason. She died soon after being frightened. Cang Xie is both sorry and sad. From then on, he rode a donkey and mule, left home, observed local conditions and customs, recorded dialects and dialects, and made up his mind to create words.
There was no paper at that time, so Cang Xie recorded the collected data of bark and reed leaves. The donkey was overloaded and was exhausted when he reached Cangjiemiao Village in Qishan County. Cang Xie couldn't walk any further, so he found a thatched cottage to stay, and he was busy drawing and writing from morning till night. At that time, he was thinking about the words "Chu" and "Chong", which should be "Chong" on the mountain and "Chu" thousands of miles away, but because the frog's cry disturbed his thoughts, he reversed these two words. In a rage, he filled it with thick ink and threw it into a nearby pond. The idea of ink painted all the frogs' mouths with ink, and the frogs stopped barking. Today, the frogs' mouths here are all black. There is a poem that says, "Cangjie has a strong concept of word-making, and the little frog cackles, and the magic pen taps the ink to seal his mouth, and he is silent forever." It is said that Cang Xie created many characters here, and there is a folk poem to prove it: "Cang Xie created a stone millet, Confucius read seven buckets and seven buckets, and the remaining two buckets were useless and scattered to neighboring countries for foreigners."
The word-forming methods of Cang Xie and Cang Xie are discussed in many dictionaries and regulations. "Wrote a book" Lv Chunqiu ". Huainanzi records: "Shi Huang was born as a writer." The preface to Shuo Wen Jie Zi: "Cang Xie, the history of the Yellow Emperor, foresees the hoof tracks of birds and animals, and knows that today can be different and different, so he makes a book about it. "Cang Xie, the recorder of the Yellow Emperor, saw the traces of animals and birds, knew how to distinguish different things from their essence and external manifestations, and began to create words.
"Crawling" in mourning
In the Northern Song Dynasty, there was a scholar named Chen Lie in Fuzhou. He is pedantic by nature and always follows ancient etiquette.
Once, his old friend and famous calligrapher Cai Xiang had a funeral at home, so he led more than 20 students to Cai's home to offer condolences. When he approached Cai's family, he said to his students, "The Book of Songs says,' When people mourn, they should crawl to save them.' Now, please share this ancient gift with me. "So, under the leadership of Chen Lie, more than 20 disciples squatted on the ground together, crying and crawling, and entered the Cai family. The Cai Xiang family were shocked to see this situation, and the women were even more scared to escape.
In fact, the "mourning" in the poem "Gu Feng" does not refer to funeral, but to disaster; The "crawling" here is not the original meaning of "hands and feet, down-to-earth", but the extended meaning of "doing my best"
Chen Lie's ignorance of the past and his adherence to the so-called ancient rites led to a big joke. There was a painter named Li Li. After he heard about it, he also drew a special painting called "Crawling Map".
"micro-beard" students
Face book is a book that registered students' appearance characteristics in ancient times. Before every exam, the government should check it to prevent impersonation. When an official visited Jiangsu, Shen Tinghui, a lifelong member of Changshu, was greatly alarmed and said, "I will definitely be fired!" " "It turns out that Shen Tinghui is in his thirties and has a little beard, so the face book is full of' micro beard'. However, it is said that the official has been training "micro" to "nothing", and anyone who fills in "micro beard" when necessary is considered to be out of the examination room. Shen Tinghui wanted to ask the management to revise the book for him, and he couldn't be found until the day before the exam. In the middle of the night, Shen Tinghui had to run to the barber shop to shave off his beard. When he entered the examination room, he named Shen Tinghui. The official who inspected the school looked at Shen Tinghui carefully and said, "This man is another account. The face book clearly says' need', why not? "It turns out that this book has a friendship with Shen Tinghui. I have changed the' micro beard' in the book to' beard' in advance, but I haven't had time to say hello to him. Gal, Shen Tinghui no beard, this has become a family debate. He had to leave the examination room in frustration.
Another life member was also fired because he had a little beard and his face book was covered with "micro-beard". The man refused to accept it and quarreled with the official. The official was furious and said, "Don't you know that Zhu Fuzi's annotation regards' micro' as' nothing'?" The student smiled and said, "What if you said that in Mencius, Confucius said that he was naked when he was" incognito to Song "? What a scandal it will be! " Hearing this, the official was speechless. From then on, he will never use "micro beard" to exclude people.
"Wei" is a polysemous word. It means "less": "Although there are strange evils, the untreated ones are very small." I'm a little embarrassed, but I'm left. "'micro-service' means putting on casual clothes to hide your identity, which makes people unable to understand." Micro means "hidden". For example, "Confucius was at odds with Lu Wei and was killed by Sima Huan in the Song Dynasty. He lived in anonymity in the Song Dynasty." (Mencius Zhang Wan) That official knows only one thing and nothing else. It is inevitable that he will make mistakes when he generalizes everything.
"Bi" said to "Bei": Husband and wife have a fight, so why divorce!
"Towel" said to "coin": son. If you put on a doctor's hat, you will be worth a hundred times.
The "ruler" said to "do": Sister, the results have come out. You are pregnant with twins.
The minister said to the giant: the same area as you. I have three rooms and two halls.
Jing said to Pin: Didn't you decorate your house?
Lu said to Chang: Compared with you, my house is a fence.
"Zi" said to "Mu": Did your company lay off staff?
"Qian" said to "Sun": It's sunny, why not wear a straw hat?
"Man" said to "Man": Unlike you young people, you can hardly walk without crutches.
"Do" says to "Do": Balance is the last word!
"Bing" said to "Qiu": You see how cruel the war is, and both legs are blown off!
"Zhan" said to "Dian": Did you buy a car?
"He" said to "Dan": Timid, please hire a bodyguard?
"Da" said to "Tai": It's actually very simple to do hernia surgery.
"Tian" said to "Yue": It's time to lose weight.
Man said to Cong: Why haven't you had the separation operation yet?
"Earth" said to "Ugly": Don't think that wearing a shawl will look good, but it is still old-fashioned in the bones.
"Inch" said to "Guo": Grandpa, did you buy a recliner?
"You" said to "A": Is it tiring to practice one finger meditation like this?
Mu said to Shu: If you have a mole on your face, consider yourself a beautiful woman.
The fork said to you: When did you get your face fixed? What is the mole on your face?
"Shit" said to "urine": Dry and thin are just different.
Ears are here.
The new magistrate is from Shandong. Because he wanted to hang up, he said to the master, "buy me two bamboo poles."
Inquired that the "bamboo pole" in Shandong dialect was "pig liver", and quickly agreed, ran to the butcher's shop and said, "Master Xinxian wants to buy two pieces of pig liver. You are a clever man.
You should know it! "
The shopkeeper, a clever man, immediately cut off two pieces of pig liver and presented a pair of pig ears.
Out of the butcher's shop, the master thought, "My master told me to buy pig liver. Of course this pig ear is mine …" So he wrapped it up and stuffed it into his pocket. Go back to the county government and report to the magistrate: "Report back to Grandpa, I bought pig liver!" "
The magistrate was very angry when he saw that the master had bought pig liver, and said, "Where are your ears!" " Hearing this, the master turned pale with fear and quickly replied, "Ear … Ear … here … in my … pocket!" "