Don't die first, then find an interesting math book. Only by truly understanding his interest in a subject can he have the motivation to learn. Just like you play a game, it's because the game has something that appeals to you.

Actually, don't get excited about math. Find some simple auxiliary materials to practice first. Complex topics are accumulated by the simplest propositions, so don't think that this is an unnecessary process of self-deception, and get back a little confidence. Then from simple to complex, we first prove geometry with simple theorems such as "parallel intersection", and finally prove the problem even to a whole page, and all of them are based on the first few simple principles.

Starting from simplicity, we can not only understand and cultivate our patience and carefulness, but also gradually enhance our understanding and interest in mathematics. If you do as I say, it still doesn't matter. Stick to it and form at least one habit, which is much better than you are now. Don't you think so?