02. A man can't find a girlfriend, so he can only tell his fortune. Fortune teller: You are doomed to have no women in the first half of your life. The man's eyes lit up: What about the rest of his life? Fortune teller: You'll get used to it for the rest of your life.
03. The reporter asked a white-haired grandfather, "Grandpa, your legs and feet are so flexible and your spirit is so strong. What is the secret of staying young? " Grandpa said: "The wind blows and the sun shines, getting up early and staying up late, two packs of cigarettes a day, freezing at MINUS 40 degrees in winter and basking at 40 degrees in summer, and three meals a day are irregular." 365 days a year, we must ensure that we are close to nature in the wild every day. " Reporter: "Ah? Grandpa, what do you do? " Grandpa: "Dry steel bar." Reporter: "Uncle, how old are you this year?" Grandpa: "29."
04. I did very well in the final exam, but I failed only arts and science.
I buy adult tickets every time I go to the cinema, but I have never seen an adult movie in it.
06. At present, the most frightening thing is that there is no lower limit for achievement; Social failure; People are ugly, but they are headstrong without money.
07. Life is like running on a treadmill. You are so tired that you vomit blood, but in the eyes of others, you still stand still.
08. After taking the exam for so many years, why not have an anniversary celebration? For example, if you have taken 40 exams, you will take 20 exams; If you pass two courses, you will get one; Take two courses and you will be exempted from the exam.
09. A woman asked a man, "Do you know what is the strongest in the world?" The man replied: "I don't know!" The woman said, "Your beard." The man asked, "Why?" "Because you are so thick-skinned, it can still break the skin."
10. Today, my husband and I had an affair. I went to bed early in his shirt and then posed as ecstasy. When my husband came in, he was really anxious to strip my clothes. While picking, I said that this shirt is old and expensive, so I won't give it to you!
1 1. The company issues benefits in the New Year, and according to what constellation, it issues corresponding things. A friend Pisces sent two live fish, an Aries sent a lamb, and an Aquarius sent a high-grade water cup. What a surprise! I'm so happy. I never thought Virgo was good, but now I'm rich.
12. A student went to see a doctor. The doctor checked and said, "It doesn't matter, just an injection." The doctor wiped the students' arms with cotton wool three or four times. Thinking that he was seriously ill, the student asked anxiously, "Doctor, is the problem serious?" The doctor said seriously, "classmate, it's time for you to take a bath."
13. Getting rich is the dream of every office worker, and being in a daze is the wish of every office worker.
14. "What's it like to have a math class?" "Do you know what it's like to watch Korean dramas without subtitles?" "……"
15. Teacher: The hybrid between a wolf and a dog is called a wolfhound, so what is the hybrid between a tiger and a lion? Xiaoming: It's called Lao Shi. Teacher: Get out!
16.？ Whenever the teacher asks questions, I bow my head and pretend to pick things up and persist for many years.
17. Take off my clothes, I am an animal. Put on my clothes. I'm the devil wears Prada!
18. People are unlucky, and drinking cold water will also plug their teeth; Water is even more unlucky, even if you drink it, you will be trapped between your teeth.
19. Only tall people can be called high cold, while those who are cold and short are called quick-frozen dwarfs.
20. An ungrateful girl wrote a letter to her lover asking for the dissolution of the relationship. Soon, she received a reply: "No. I am busy dating my girlfriend and have no time to think about it. "
2 1. Advice when most needed is least heeded, 1. If you are a man, please don't have a dog. If you have a dog, don't have a dog that can jump into bed. If your dog can jump on the bed, you shouldn't sleep naked. If you really like sleeping naked, don't feed sausages to dogs.
22. Every time I talk about losing weight, I just want to scare my little fresh meat.
23. Now you scold me because you don't know me yet. When you get to know me better, I promise you will hit me.