First of all, our teachers and parents should not indulge in puppy love. We should treat it correctly and rationally, and we should not be emotional or ashamed and angry. Like a treasure, if you lose it, you will feel sad. You feel rich when you keep it, and so do people's feelings. If you keep it, it will become a kind of motivation. How can students cherish their feelings? First of all, we must find out the reasons why middle school students fall in love.
First, the reasons for middle school students' love
There are many reasons for puppy love, mainly in the following aspects:
1, children's physical and mental development to a certain extent, have curiosity and mystery about love, thus having a good impression on the opposite sex, and then having puppy love. There is a saying in the Book of Songs: "My fair lady, a gentleman is good at walking", which is the result of human nature.
2. Affected by unhealthy film and television programs and reading materials. Many cultural programs and pop songs have contributed to the negative impact of puppy love. Some people also like literature. They are emotional and sentimental. They often use romantic plots in literature to compare their own lives, and unconsciously follow their favorite heroes to pursue "ideal love".
3, learning is not invested, poor grades, no lofty ideals. In the shadow of exam-oriented education, they seldom get special attention and can't get pleasure from their study, so they abandon themselves and fall into love, so as to get psychological compensation. (This is not suitable for your daughter)
4. Negative influence among classmates. When puppy love has become a more and more common "landscape" in children's eyes, when children's good friends who get along with each other day and night, or look up to their "top", "class flower" and "handsome boy" forever, they actually join the ranks of puppy love, which is quite terrible for students' psychological impact and temptation. At this time, if there is another friend of the opposite sex who is not annoying, write a note and offer affection, students at this time will easily surrender and fall in love.
For various reasons, some students lack family warmth and affection, which leads to weak personality. Strong vanity, mainly girls, they are generally spoiled and want to have a support, so they accept the hospitality and praise of the opposite sex.
6. In order to live up to the hopes of teachers and parents, many students study hard under the baton of the college entrance examination, ignoring their own psychological and spiritual needs, resulting in great psychological and mental pressure. The psychological counseling system in middle schools is not perfect. Even if this pressure is eliminated, students can't tell. Occasionally meet a speculative "confidant" of the opposite sex, and they will lose control of their feelings.
Of course, it is not enough to know the reason of puppy love. More importantly, how to prevent it.
Second, the prevention of puppy love among middle school students.
For middle school students, puppy love is generally unconditional, and love is everything, very simple and pure. Teenagers in the state of puppy love seldom realize the responsibility of this relationship and have no goal of establishing a family. They only know how to taste the sweetness of love, look for the only feeling of "I only have you in my eyes", and regard a help and a comfort as a sign of love, which is infinitely magnified and beautified. Ignore the persuasion of teachers and parents, and even react more strongly. At this time, it is difficult to persuade them to turn back. The simple way is to "input in advance" and take a vaccination first.
Prevention of puppy love: warn students in advance that film and television literary works and romantic love stories are "ha ha mirrors" of life, which can only be used as pastimes, not as textbooks for life.
Music, film and television works and romance novels are just one of the tricks in the business of record companies, film and television companies and publishing houses. They package, publicize and hype stars, which is just a means for them to make money. Therefore, don't be obsessed with pop songs, but keep a clear head on the meaning in the songs; Can't imitate film and television, can't be led by the nose; We should laugh at the romantic story of a stroke, frost and snow in a romantic novel. Try to shut out a large number of movies, magazines and songs that are not good enough to avoid harmful misleading.
Prevention of puppy love 2: improve students' psychological quality and immune ability. Put an end to class chaos, avoid chaos, get things done, and don't let people have fantasies because of fantasies.
Middle school students are curious and sensitive to new things, especially good at catching shadows. They are often trivial things. If you want to roll a watermelon among your classmates, the parties may really fall in love in public opinion and gossip.
Prevention of puppy love: psychological compensation for poor students and single-parent children.
Poor students and single-parent children are psychologically vulnerable groups in schools. Teachers should pay more attention to these students and give them psychological compensation to get them out of psychological helplessness. It is easier to use the 16-character policy, that is, "move with emotion, know with reason, act with action and persevere"
Prevention of puppy love 4: Help students set lofty goals.
Let the students understand that there are many things that lead to emotional injury in the college entrance examination. Puppy love is not a game, but a costly gamble and a double-edged sword, which often leads to both losses. At the same time, students should also understand that middle school students are not fully mature and unpredictable in the future, just like buying eggs to hatch birds with their own pockets, they don't know what will hatch, not to mention that they don't have an environment to hatch eggs. State interests in many ways and guide them to treat lofty ideals.
Of course, Freud, a famous psychologist and psychoanalyst, said that the more things are imprisoned, the more people yearn for them. The society is more and more open, but schools and families are more closed, and students lack the correct guidance and self-adjustment ability. Therefore, when this kind of imprisonment conflicts with biological laws, students are easy to fall into impulsive anxiety, and some even take risks. This also requires educators to give full play to the leading role, dare to reform and dare to solve this mysterious veil.
Finally, in adolescent education, we should pay attention to two misunderstandings:
Myth 1: Opposing puppy love cannot be equated with opposing male-female communication. In traditional education, even if we don't object to male-female communication, we won't help students understand the necessity of male-female relationship in order to save a little trouble. But in fact, the school is a relatively simple small society. Free and normal communication between boys and girls in this competitive and relatively harmonious environment can reduce the shyness and mystery of male and female communication and increase psychological stability. At the same time, it can supplement the differences of thinking patterns between men and women in the process of communication, which is conducive to stimulating intellectual development and psychological maturity.
Myth 2: Puppy love is a problem among students. What most teachers do is to "chase" students with the cooperation of home and school. However, the result is not ideal. Students often take orally, which leads to psychological confrontation. The result is that "wildfire never completely devoured them, and they grew taller again in the spring breeze". Therefore, to carry out adolescent education, the role orientation of educators must be changed from "police" to "life mentor", and the educational strategy must also be changed from "chasing" to "reasoning and counseling". Let them be willing to hide this relationship for a while.
Human life is an irreversible process. Without regret medicine, the situation of life is changeable and the outside world is wonderful. Students should cherish their precious study time, and when they can't take responsibility for others materially and spiritually, don't rush to pick flowers that are not in bud, as it will lose the opportunity to see them in full bloom.
Bibliography: 1, by Harvard girl, published by Writers Publishing House in August 2000.
2. Huang Quanyu: Quality Education in America, Guangdong Education Press 1999.
3. Luo: "Changing" Chasing Blocks "into" Reasoning Counseling ""Class Teacher "March 2006 5438+0
4. Jiao: "How to Treat Puppy Love" and "Class Teacher" 200 1 May
5. Fang Lu: "Explain the true meaning of education with love"
6. Wang Shunbing: "Suffering Education" West Normal University Press 1999 10.
I hope it is useful for you and your daughter, and I wish your daughter a smooth journey!
Please adopt it if it is useful to you!
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