If your mind is stable enough, you can estimate what the other person wants to convey according to your own experience and understanding of the other person.
But mentality is not a mathematical formula. If I don't teach you, you can use it skillfully. Mentality needs to be cultivated, and it needs experience and sentiment to improve.
"When did you start to say goodbye to naivety?"
"I want it for the first time, but I can't get it."
This sentence is particularly appropriate in my love experience.
To tell the truth, I was not inferior when I was a student.
Ordinary family, ordinary school, no luxury but no shadow of childhood.
I met that girl until I was a sophomore.
Many years later, I looked at the photo taken at that time and lamented more than once how I fell in love with such an ordinary woman.
Yes, she is not beautiful, and there is nothing to recommend it when you think about it.
In my memory, once she sang in public, and all her likes and dislikes were booing, but she silently bowed her head and studied a prominent nail on the table.
However, this is enough. For a little boy who likes singing and showing off, and thinks that the stars hold the moon, your ignorance is the best way to attract his attention.
I began to wonder, unwilling, and began to think:
"What makes her ignore me? Why don't you pay attention to me Where is my singing is not good, or she thinks she is better ... "
Once you acquiesce that a person is "superior" to you, everything about her has a halo in your eyes.
With this unwillingness and curiosity, I began to pay attention to her, get close to her, and began to have nothing to say with her. I even got her QQ number (WeChat was not popular then) and mobile phone number, and sent her poems by Tagore and Dai Wangshu in the middle of the night. ...
However, in response to me, except for a few absent-minded perfunctory words in person, there was only a stagnant silence in the mobile phone.
The more silent she is, the more I think about it. Subconsciously, I have given her ten thousand reasons to despise me. In my imagination, her attitude towards me changed from neglect to contempt, and then to neglect.
Later, she did not say a word. As soon as I saw her, I consciously fell into the dust.
Finally, this kind of unrequited love, which seems to be love, seriously affected my study. The teacher talked to me and went away.
I used to feel that I was too naive and inexperienced at that time, so I was so persistent, so inferior and so painful.
However, I have talked with many "seniors" in love and workplace, and suddenly found that although they are very successful in a certain field, even if they have talked about love more than once, they are more or less thinking, anxious and even vaguely inferior to those who ignore them, and feel that they are "not worthy" of others.
I sum up this mentality as "the mentality of the persecuted".
When you face a strange field (such as love, or a love object you have never been in contact with), you will definitely feel nervous and uneasy.
If you attribute this tension to a natural reaction and believe that it can be solved, you will soon be able to adapt to the new field and find a simple way to deal with it.
Unfortunately, most boys (and some girls) lack love consciousness and experience in their growing up.
When they come into contact with their favorite object, that admiration, addiction and desire can knock them down at once and make them addicted to each other.
In this case, it is difficult for them to put their minds right, and all the less positive actions of the other party will be interpreted as unfriendly or even contempt by them who are nervous inside.
"I obviously didn't do anything, but he said I was too cruel to him ..."
"I just didn't reply in time. She said I didn't love her ..."
In that kind of "persecuted" mentality, you have tortured him countless times in his heart, and you haven't replied for a while.