1. I am afraid that adults will compare with other children.
"Every time someone else's children take the math test first, look at you." "Neighbor Linlin plays the piano much better than you." ... Every child has strengths and weaknesses, but we like to compare our children's weaknesses with those of other children. Good parents will focus on encouraging and supporting their children instead of comparing them. The result of comparison is to make children bored and lose trust in their parents.
The effect of encouraging and supporting children is completely different, so that children can find the feeling of being trusted. Therefore, to encourage children, we must grasp the child's psychology and master the correct methods, and we cannot blindly stimulate children.
I am afraid that adults will emphasize the sense of sacrifice.
"It was for you that I resigned!" "I have worked so hard and suffered so many grievances, all in order to give you a better life." ..... This will make children feel that their birth has brought pain to their parents, and every day of life is accompanied by a great sense of guilt. This kind of psychological burden makes children often suppress themselves, for fear that they will not meet their parents' expectations, and they are cautious and treading on thin ice.
I am afraid that adults will scold me in public.
"Do you know that my child still wets the bed?" "The last time my child failed the exam, it was a shame." "How can you even break things? Really worthless. " Every child has deep self-esteem, and your unintentional words may make him feel that he can't hold his head among his relatives and friends and aggravate his inferiority. We should give up the habit of criticizing in public. Unless the child makes a big mistake in principle, we will stay until we get home.
4. I am afraid that adults will scare themselves.
"Don't cry, I won't want you if you cry again!" "Mom won't like you if you don't finish this bowl of rice!" "If you don't get good grades, you can only pick up garbage in the future!" ..... These threats will make children worry that they will be abandoned. The survey results show that if parents often say "If you do this again, I will be Xx" to their children before they are 6 years old, then the children will gradually develop a negative personality, feel inferior and depressed, and be afraid of getting along with strangers.
5. Afraid of parents quarreling
Quarrel in front of children, parents quarrel, children are the most injured. They are afraid of losing their parents' love and the breakdown of their families, so they often ignore and suppress their feelings and be the rescuers of their parents' emotions.
Children live in a family where their parents are not harmonious for a long time, and it is difficult for them to have love and security. When a couple has a conflict, if they can't control their emotions for a while and quarrel in front of the children, please remember to make up in front of the children. Let the children know that although mom and dad have contradictions, they still love each other, and this home is warm and safe.