These are three true stories.
1 One word from her can kill me.
Z is an excellent girl, just like the type that almost all boys at that age like. Good study, good popularity, long hair shawl and handsome face ... so it's not surprising that I secretly like her. But z doesn't often talk to boys. I didn't say a word.
I have to admit, I like to be handsome and thick-skinned But in front of Z, I am always embarrassed.
When I was playing basketball, I saw Z pass by the basketball court. I want to show it. What if she looks up and sees it If you grab the ball in one step, you have to dunk. Blessed by the Buddha, let her see my handsome figure ... When I took off, I felt my legs tighten and I clearly heard a "stab". A distracted basketball flew sideways, hit the backboard and bounced back to the ground. Everyone around me froze and burst into laughter. "Ha ha ha ha-his crotch is cracked-"When I fell to the ground, I looked down and my pants were torn, revealing the stripes of my underwear. I quickly stood up with my legs between my legs, blushed with embarrassment and growled, "Stop laughing, what's so funny!" " She ran back to the classroom, clutching her back. Later, I never dared to think how I ran back to the teaching building in front of her. It was a nightmare.
Once my Chinese teacher asked me to recite a text, but I never recited it. When I woke up the next day, my back was still incomplete. Finally, the teacher couldn't bear it. He slapped the book in my face and told me to stand in the back. The whole classroom was silent. I didn't speak. I picked up my textbook and walked slowly to the back. When I passed Block Z, I lowered her head and couldn't see her face clearly. I was holding a book when I was standing in the back. I don't know whether I am reading the text or just trying to block my face. What is there to stop? Who doesn't know it's me? When the bell rang, I pretended to be indifferent and got rough with the boy next to me and returned to my seat. When she passed Z, she was still sorting out her textbook notes with her head down. At that moment, I was suddenly glad that Z didn't care too much about herself, so that she wouldn't remember how I made a fool of myself.
I guess I'll just have to look up at Z. I hope she can see her best side, and I hope she can't see it when she is embarrassed. Like a monster without magic, my inferiority complex has nowhere to hide in front of her. One word from her can kill me.
Another day, I quarreled with my deskmate.
"You look at you, so stupid! This question is so simple, you won't! "
The deskmate is Z's roommate, a woman. Not to be outdone, she said, "You are so stupid! You are a diaosi! "
"What? ! "I can tolerate anything, but I can't say that I am a diaosi. "You are the female diaosi! Nonsense! "
The deskmate said, "You are diaosi! Everyone says you are! "
I became angry from embarrassment: "Who? ! Who said that? ! "Swear that you won't let that man go.
When the name Z popped out of my deskmate's mouth, I felt blood rush into my brain and my face turned red. It's like I'm full of gas, and there's nowhere to spread it, which only makes me tremble. I seem to see the sneer at the Z-corner of my pants on the basketball court, and the disdain in her eyes when I can't recite the text in Chinese class. I seem to see her standing in front of me, gently opening her lips and saying contemptuously, "You diaosi."
She can kill me with one word.
I don't know what to do, I can only rush out of the classroom as quickly as possible. As soon as the door opened, it crashed with a clash, which puzzled people at the same table and at the door. Z is joking with his classmates in the corridor. I tried to avoid her when I ran, but I stepped on a pool of water and slipped to the ground. There were several exclamations and snickers.
I sat there, silent and motionless, as if I had lost my strength. Is it still necessary to struggle?
He didn't say anything. I looked like a joke.
They are deskmates, but they are in heaven and earth. Boy X is a bully in the grade, and my grades are average and not outstanding; He is tall and handsome, and all my boys nicknamed "dinosaur" avoid him.
I even maliciously guessed that the reason why the teacher arranged the seats like this was to prevent him from puppy love.
At first I thought that X would avoid me in disgust like everyone else. However, he paid no attention to what others said and gave me a serious lecture when I asked questions, over and over again.
X's buddies can joke, push and scold. "ah! Do dinosaurs like you! " "Look at you! Your wife? " I was ashamed and annoyed, and roared, "It's none of your business!" I am afraid to see the traces of anger on his face and hear the cruel words in his mouth. He smiled helplessly and said, "Stop it. Girls have a thin face. " Relieved, at that moment, my heart will melt.
My skin may not be delicate, but my heart is still soft. Who wouldn't like such a gentle boy as a girlhood?
In biology class, the teacher is talking about meiosis. I spread out my textbook and didn't want to attend the lecture. I quietly took out a book "How to Write a Love Letter" from the hole in the table and put it on it. Seeing the teacher's enthusiasm, I should not have seen me. I turned over the pamphlet intently, and suddenly found that the teacher had stopped talking and felt a strange silence around me. Looking up, the teacher's angry face was in front of him.
My face turned pale in an instant.
"Don't listen to class, what are you doing? ! "The teacher saw the brochure in my hand, grabbed it and looked at the cover. Maybe I didn't say the title for fear of losing face, but I'm not sure anyone can see it. "Don't listen to class and go out and stand! Get out! "
Beside X, without saying a word, he bowed his head and turned over a page. I walked out with my head down. At that moment, my face turned from pale to red, and my ears buzzed as if I could hear nothing.
The sunshine outside is dazzling. I feel fine. No one can see my expression clearly.
"You should listen carefully in class, otherwise how can you do the problem?" Come in from the outside after class, X said with a faint thin anger.
"Well, I see. It won't happen next time ... "I whispered with my head down. He cares so much about himself, embarrassed, but more ecstatic.
I will take everything he says as the standard. A semester is a sweet torment. Finally, the final exam is over and the summer vacation is coming. That night, I made a bold decision
After the evening self-study, the students rushed back to the dormitory. My roommate has gone to the toilet, and only I am still sitting in the dormitory hesitating.
Finally, I got up the courage, grabbed the windowsill, put my hands together to make a trumpet, and shouted at the opposite boys' dormitory: "X, I like you!" " "
After a moment of silence, there was a commotion across the street. People gathered on every windowsill of each floor opposite, and the boys began to run to the window to watch the excitement. Crowded, but there is no sign of him.
Didn't you hear me?
I shouted again: "X, I like you!" " "
"X, I like you!"
"X, I like you!"
He still didn't show up.
My voice is getting louder and louder every time, but I am desperate every time.
The boy across the street whistled and flashed; The back of my dormitory is also crowded with surprised girls.
I don't have time to analyze whether those people's eyes are more contemptuous or more pitying.
It was already a sea of people, but X didn't appear.
I see. He thinks it's funny. Everyone knows it, but only he turns a blind eye.
Finally. Anyone who is liked by a girl like me will feel humiliated ... it's strange that a girl is so bold ... but he knows I'm not beautiful, but am I also a girl? Don't I want a beautiful face and a good figure? ! Don't I want to be beautiful and smart? ! Too bad I'm not! Don't!
However, what can I do? !
Even if the answer is no, I hope he knows what I mean ... as long as he appears, I just hope he appears, even if there is no happy face before.
I lay on the windowsill, tears streaming down my face.
This time, he didn't say anything. I looked like a joke.
He is like the dazzling sun, but my secret is dark.
There are two handsome teenagers in Class One who are famous for their achievements.
One is W, who was a star-studded figure at that time. Almost every grade has suitors, from junior to senior, from girls to boys, no exaggeration. Fair complexion, meticulous facial features, slender but thin figure, the standard of beautiful teenagers is nothing more than that.
The other one is me. Actually, my facial features are not very good, but I like neatness. Coupled with good grades, beautiful handwriting, and a little talent for reading aloud, there are actually many girls who confess. Perhaps neatness and introverted, for boys of that age, is already valuable.
Especially W, known as "Grade Grass", it is more common to be followed at school every day.
Sometimes we happen to meet at the school gate. As soon as I met W, I greeted him loudly and whispered, "Let's go, someone is following me."
I also had an epiphany. I looked back at a girl who followed me closely, and quickened my pace with him.
"It's really annoying, these people are too crazy." I said.
"Oh, it's annoying." He frowned and smiled and said, "Stop it. Oh, by the way, I didn't write my math homework. Let me borrow yours. "
I don't know how many times this plot has been staged. Every morning, W will go to school early to make up his homework. I don't know why, but I actually enjoy this process: my exercise book is spread out in front of him and placed side by side with his exercise book on the table; The sun is getting brighter in the morning. He made up his homework. I sat next to him and ate the egg tart he brought. We chat with each other. I can't help laughing when I finish my homework every day and think of the same situation the next day.
He doesn't like studying, and insists on the theory that learning is useless. I don't know how many times I have said it, but he can always refute it with various reasons.
"Why do you study so hard? Do you still swear in classical Chinese? Do you need a quadratic function to buy food on the street? Is it necessary to calculate the air resistance when jumping off a building? Do you need to recite a chemical reaction when buying snacks? "
I obviously think this statement is full of loopholes, but I don't know how to answer it, or I'm too lazy to correct it seriously. From time to time, a few naughty boys next to me will shout "Good point! That's right! "
This situation suddenly changed in the third year of high school. W began to study very hard and pestered the teacher to ask questions after school at noon. Sometimes he is impatient with the teacher and doesn't beg for mercy until after lunch.
"Did you fight chicken blood?" I asked.
"You don't understand, I am dredging the blood of Xueba in my body." He has a bad smile.
At that moment, I actually felt a voice in my heart expanding infinitely-"so cute! So cute! " I pressed my chest and it was beating violently. I seem to be blushing.
W is clever, and with a little effort, his grades begin to soar. The teacher is surprised and often praises him in class. Moreover, the girls in the class are going crazy and often rub problems around his seat.
Looking at such a scene, I have a kind of ignorant anger. I want to get rid of all those girls, and I want to occupy the position next to him. ...
I am a propaganda committee member, and the head teacher asked me to find some people to do a blackboard newspaper about the mobilization of the college entrance examination. W offered to stay and help me. And I said with disgust, "What would you do? Don't get in the way here. " My heart is happy.
I rolled up my sleeves, made a draft on the blackboard with chalk, and stepped back from time to time to observe the overall effect. W picked up a piece of chalk and gestured to me: "Is it red?"
After a while, he began to struggle with his face and his breathing was not smooth.
"Why? Tired? You are too weak. " I look helpless.
"No." He smiled and paused for a moment. "Actually, actually ... I seem to like a girl."
So much for a bolt from the blue. I want to be surprised. I wanted to make fun of it as usual, but I stayed where I was as if by magic. For an instant, I had an impulse to cry. Fortunately, the afterglow of the sunset covered my pale face.
"I have a stomachache." I rushed to the door without saying a word, leaving him with a surprised face.
That day, I calmed down and went back to the classroom to listen to his secret love. I listened quietly without saying a word, fearing that breathing would bring pain. I have never seen the yearning and shyness on his face. It turns out that his smile can be cruel.
I painted the blackboard badly that day.
I smiled and said that day: I wish you find true love as soon as possible.
The afterglow of the sunset that day was beautiful. He was like a dazzling sun, but my secret was dark.
I like W, I like to watch him make up his homework, I like his lovely complaints, I like his unyielding ... those handwriting are still beautiful, but they let me see the emptiness in black and white. I stayed up all night writing for a long time, sealed it in a homemade envelope, affixed with precious stamps and stuffed it into a glass bottle. I took it with me and buried it in the garden in front of the teaching building.
I buried it, I buried me for three years, and every bit was him.
These three stories, which may happen every day, are so small that I don't even know what to say for comfort.
Like a person who has no heart, even the smile will become dim; Try to change yourself, just to get even a little attention from that person; No matter how much time I waste, I won't admit that all this may be doomed to be wrong from the beginning; People who regard themselves as treasures are abandoned like shoes, but they don't even have an angry position; Countless times I told myself to forget it, but even if it hurts, I can't let it go; Reluctantly say your blessing, only to understand that it is not so great to fulfill a person.
"In fact, I don't think it's worth it, but I have no choice. As soon as you appear, others seem to be like this. "
If you can choose to start over, maybe he or she would rather never meet him.
If someone has ever looked up to you so foolishly, please be kind to him or her.