Speaking of being tired of learning, I think of a news two years ago.

There was a mother in Shanxi who committed suicide by jumping off a building in the early hours of the morning after an argument with her children because her daughter in grade three was tired of school and her grades dropped.

The girl's performance has been excellent, and she was admitted to a key middle school with the second total score of the whole school. Her mother is a doctor and has a strong working ability.

It's sad that the child was killed because he was tired of learning and jumped off the building.

But to my shock, another mother said this when talking about this news: actually, I quite understand her.

Her children are also tired of learning, and she has been in a state of anxiety and mania since her children went to primary school.

The child's grades are not good, and he is coaxed and scolded. He just refused to learn, and he was distracted without looking.

I lose my temper every day when I get to school, talk back to my homework, and get angry with my breast hyperplasia, but I just can't help it.

It is rare for a mother to jump off a building because her child is tired of learning. But children don't like learning and don't want to learn, which is the biggest headache for many parents.

Many friends around me are counselors. They said that among the people who came to consult, teenagers accounted for the largest proportion, mainly including two aspects, one is suicidal tendency, and the other is weariness of learning.

Therefore, today I want to talk about the related theories about intelligence and learning in psychology, aiming at the problem that children are tired of learning and don't like learning, hoping to bring some thoughts to everyone.

0 1

Why do children get tired of learning?

In fact, many people's understanding of children's weariness of learning is not clear.

I received a complaint from a mother that her daughter was preoccupied and made an excuse to avoid school. As soon as she went to school, she said she would have diarrhea, but she refused to set foot in the school when she arrived at the campus gate.

She decided that her daughter was cheating and made excuses, so she didn't take it seriously. As a result, the child later had psychological problems.

Mother thinks that her daughter doesn't like studying, but in fact, her daughter's problem is that she is tired of studying. Loving learning and being tired of learning are two different things.

If you don't like learning, don't work hard, don't learn well, perfunctory about homework courses, and don't like learning, you may become tired of learning.

The definition of school weariness is that if a child resolutely refuses to go to school, then he will commit suicide and make a scene when he goes to school. Parents have no choice but to find a psychological counselor.

We can see that the only child shows resistance to learning, but it may be due to emotional reasons, family reasons, inability to keep up with learning or the influence of school bullying.

But if we put aside these unknown reasons (after all, everyone is different), children are born to resist going to school. Why?

02

If you don't love school, maybe it's not suitable for school.

Children don't love school. Besides their own problems, we can also look at their educational environment.

Many people may not have delved into it. At present, the courses in our school, whether Chinese, mathematics, English or arts and sciences, are actually examining children's mathematical logic and memory.

However, Howard gardner, an American educator and psychologist, put forward the theory of multiple intelligences.

Simply put, you can't judge whether a child is excellent or not by one intelligence.

Everyone uses his own talent. If he develops his brain in a way that conforms to his natural intelligence, then the child's development will be better.

Gardner believes that human intelligence can be divided into the following eight categories.

Through the table, we can find that different intelligences correspond to different fields. If you cultivate your most outstanding ability, this person can shine in the right field.

Our exam-oriented education only examines three kinds of intelligence in this form, namely, language intelligence, logical mathematics intelligence and spatial intelligence, and these three kinds of intelligence are being trained repeatedly from primary school to university.

On the other hand, school education mostly trains children's left brain function. But in fact, some children have more developed right brain function.

If our children's intelligence doesn't match the training of exam-oriented education, then they certainly don't learn as well as other matching children.

Being in such an environment that is not suitable for children's intellectual development for a long time, children cannot cultivate their interest in learning.

Coupled with parents' anxiety, teachers' criticism or contempt among classmates, children may even have resistance to the school.

Children have long been in a state of impaired self-esteem at school. Maybe a year or two. What about three years, five years and ten years later?

Children will not only hate going to school, but even cause other problems.

03

Under the theory of multiple intelligences

Put forward new possibilities for children's future.

We may not find that there are many cases of multiple intelligence theory in our real life.

Are there any people around you who didn't get good grades when they were young, but were extremely talented in other aspects and eventually achieved something?

For a familiar example, Jay Chou, as we all know, is actually a child with outstanding musical intelligence.

He didn't like studying since he was a child, and he failed in the college entrance examination twice. But he spent all his time practicing the piano and playing ball, so he became the king of Chinese music today.

He himself said that if he had been admitted to the university, if he hadn't studied piano and played ball, Kung Fu Dunk and Slam Dunk Master wouldn't have appeared.

Other children have strong interpersonal intelligence. They don't get good grades, but they get along well with everyone in the class.

They have high emotional intelligence and know how to communicate, so even if their grades are not excellent, they can become big bosses after graduation.

More commonly, children with poor cultural achievements but outstanding sports expertise and design ability are better in spatial intelligence and sports intelligence.

If these people's talents were suppressed and they were not supported, it would be difficult for them to achieve today's achievements.

The theory of multiple intelligences can make us reflect more on the fact that children are tired of learning.

Of course, this does not mean that children are not allowed to go to school. It is absolutely not advisable to blindly prevent children from going to school.

I just hope that parents who have children who are tired of learning at home can think about it: if the child works really hard, his grades are still not good, and you just find that he is talented in another field.

Is it possible to think about it? Maybe the college entrance examination won't have to let children go to college. Maybe you can try to let your child go his more talented way.

It will be easier for a person to follow the path of his own talent field, get more praise and make faster progress.

There are many special classes now, and it is better to identify children's talents. Schools will also recruit special students.

The formation of the education system is a combination of many factors. We cannot change this environment, but we can change ourselves.

If you spend a lot of time against the school curriculum, it is still ineffective, and it is not impossible to change the direction, so that children can achieve something without setbacks and grow up happily and healthily.

04

Take the road of talent field.

Children will be more relaxed.

Finally, I will tell you a true story about teenagers' problems.

The boy was born in a happy family. His father is a government official and his mother is a university teacher, but he never inherited the excellent genes from his parents.

He is so stupid that other children can recite ancient poems. He can't even count the numbers within ten. What is more troublesome is that he is particularly naughty, restless and restless.

On the first day of school, I injured my child and destroyed the school piano. Later, he changed many kindergartens, but in the end he didn't escape the fate of being thrown out.

His father was angry and forced him to go to school, but he was not a fuel-efficient lamp. He not only smashed the TV set at home, but even burned the documents in the study and even alerted the fire brigade.

His father couldn't bear it and sent him directly to a mental hospital. ...

A month later, my mother, who was on a business trip in other places, came home and learned about it. She divorced her father angrily and moved out.

Followed by day and night care, but he is still not at ease, still in the primary school.

Later, his mother simply rented a house at school and asked him to repair the damaged items.

It was in this room that he found the direction of life.

He used a screwdriver, pliers and other tools to turn scrap metal into a car and a small plane. He was very satisfied himself, and his classmates admired him for this and became friends with him.

His personality is becoming more and more cheerful, but his grades are still not good.

Because the parents are excellent, other children either go abroad to get a doctorate or take the worst postgraduate exam, and he may not even get into high school.

Instead of blaming him, his mother gave him three choices:

The first is to go to an ordinary high school, and my mother will find a way; Second, vocational high school auto repair; The third one chooses nothing.

In the end, he chose the road of auto repair.

At first, others couldn't understand, but fortunately, his mother has been supporting and encouraging him.

He is very talented in this field. Before graduation, he was called "car prodigy". Later, I opened my own shop, and now I have formed a chain brand.

This problem of teenagers may also have problems such as ADHD.

However, from the perspective of multiple intelligence theory, his mother has well guided the development of his natural intelligence.

Such a middle-class family, let children choose vocational high school, public opinion pressure is not small, but his mother insisted.

Therefore, even if the child's growth is not as good as expected, he is still happy and healthy and shines in other fields.

Finally, I want to share a passage with you:

I hope every child can take the most comfortable road.

Our children are all seeds. Maybe everyone's flowering period is different. Some flowers bloom brilliantly early, while others need a long wait.

Don't be disturbed by other flowers, take care of your own flowers carefully, watch them grow up slowly, and accompany them to bathe in the sun and rain, which is also a kind of happiness!

What's more, even if your seeds don't bloom, they will eventually become towering trees.