Because I am such a person, I often work hard to do something, but I am afraid that others will know.

Why? Because I'm afraid of failure. I'm afraid that after failure, people will say, you see, it's not as easy for you to succeed as I am, and you failed. So I'm afraid of being known for my efforts.

Take school for example. At that time, my math was very poor. I only got 65 points in the first exam, but the full mark was 150. At that time, everyone around me got good grades, and I was depressed, but I didn't admit defeat, so I often studied until the early hours of the morning and bought my own exercises to do.

However, I won't ask the people next to me if I have a problem that I can't. I'm afraid to hear people say you can't do it so easily, and I'm even more afraid of people saying you've worked hard. Your grades are so poor anyway. So even if you are scolded badly by the teacher, you will ask the teacher. Learning is a painful and happy thing.

Later, it was the same when the college entrance examination approached, but I found that I was not the only one, and many people in my class were like this. Some people will stay up late to study, then pretend not to do anything during the day, and usually play with us, as if they have made great achievements because of their talents, which will give you a very relaxed look on the surface. In this way, he will envy and admire, and of course, he may also enjoy such admiring eyes. But only one thing, he will never let you know how hard he works.

Up to now, I am the only person in the whole dormitory who has not passed Band 4. You know, if you don't have CET-4, you won't get a bachelor's degree certificate after graduation, so I'm scared, but after watching them all pass, I don't want to admit that I'm worse than them, so I often start studying secretly. Or if they know I'm going to the library, I'll say I'm playing with my cell phone or sleeping there. Anyway, whatever it is, I just don't want to admit that I studied hard. In this way, if you haven't passed next time, say you haven't studied hard. After that, just say I didn't expect it to be so simple. If you are more careful, you will pass Band 4.

So you can use this as an excuse anyway. Look, this is obviously because of my ridiculous self-esteem, or because I have found a good reason for my failure, so I don't want to admit something that I have worked very hard. Because if you can't work hard, you will succeed. If you can't achieve the desired result in your heart, you can calmly say that it's because you are poor. I always hope I can get better.

So I'd rather pretend that I didn't work hard, so I'm afraid of being mercilessly laughed at by others. So I can only pretend to be relaxed, in fact, this is the most tiring.