1, parent-child conflict.

Dabao is used to his parents' loving habits, so he will be psychologically fragile and sensitive. It is difficult to accept a baby younger than yourself and let parents give more attention and care. Dabao will have a psychological gap. When conflicts occur, he should pay more attention to older children. Don't "penny wise and pound foolish". Whenever two children have conflicts, the parents around them will say, "When you are older, you should make way for your younger brother and sister." In this case, humility is a label of virtue, but it should not be a rope for kidnapping children. If we only rely on the majesty of parents to ask older children to let their children go, the needs of both sides will not be met and balanced. This solution is only superficial calm, and the fundamental need-what the child wants is not solved, and the next contradiction will still occur.

Teenagers' cognitive and moral development is limited. When they show their right or wrong, they may solve the problem in a rough way. For example, I often hear that older children abuse two children. The needs of older children are always ignored by their parents, and the inner contradictions of older children will become more and more fierce.

Communication is the main way to solve problems. The premise is to treat children with respect and patience and guide them from the perspective of older children. Good family education can help children form correct values, morality and social outlook.

2. The economic pressure has doubled, and the pressure to educate children is great, and the education of children cannot be guaranteed.

From the milk powder, clothes, toys and diapers after the birth of the child to the tuition and living expenses later, raising a child puts great pressure on parents. If there is a mortgage, parents have little left except for the expenses of their two children. And now people pay more and more attention to children's education and don't want children to lose at the starting line. In the prime time when children start from kindergarten to university, parents with conditions dare to take their children to do experiments without taking any extra long classes to let them develop. Don't expect remedial classes to have a 100% return on children. Only what children like is meaningful, otherwise they will wear themselves out and let children wear "small glasses", which is really a loss of wife and a loss of soldiers.

3, mental stress, less free time.

Having a second child is really not a matter of adding a pair of chopsticks. It makes the mother tired and the child miserable. To sum up, money is not supported. No money means that children's life and study have no quality. No one brought it, which means that children and mothers must be housewives. Not only hard, but also easy to be pessimistic. I finally pulled Dabao up, hoping I could relax. As a result, she gave birth to a second child and beat herself back to her original appearance. She didn't even have time to catch her breath.

4, affect the work

For working mothers, the most fearful thing is during pregnancy and childbirth. Although some companies can take paid vacations, the reality is really cruel. Once people are gone, the hard-won position may be handed over to others. Moreover, even if they don't care about the position, employers and companies are not afraid of those married women who are not pregnant. After all, once they are pregnant and have children, the interests of the unit will be damaged.

Benefits of having a second child:

1, Dabao won't be lonely if he has company.

For some parents of the only child born in 1980s, it is really unbearable. When I was a child, I was lonely. I don't have any brothers or sisters to share happiness and sadness. When my parents are old and decide something, there are no brothers and sisters to fight with me. It's really unpleasant So I want my children to stop being like themselves and hope to help each other when they grow up.

2. Conducive to children's mental development and avoid overindulgence.

Most babies with brothers and sisters will consider other people's feelings before doing anything, such as having something delicious to share and something fun to play. Family is a micro-society. Learning to deal with family relationships first is also conducive to children's future interpersonal relationships.

Problems to be considered before giving birth to a second child

economic problem

It costs twice as much to have two children as to have one. Although our life is much better now, and many material necessities can satisfy our children, the consumption level is not as good as before. In the past, we only had to live, and some had to eat and wear. Now early education, special classes and training classes are coming. Even if it is not compulsory, everyone's children are in early education. Everyone's children are talented and have nothing to eat except their own children.

The question of who to take the child to.

According to the usual idea, many people will choose to bring their children to their parents. When they only have one child, they can consider it this way. However, if they have two children, it will be different. When their parents are old, a child is already in trouble. How do two children absorb physically and mentally? If you simply quit your job and become a full-time mother, you will lose an income at home. Can dad afford the expenses of this family alone?

Age problem

The first child and the second child had better not be too far apart. Originally, I thought that Dawa could help take care of Xiaowa when she grew up, but if the two children are very different in age and Dawa is in a rebellious period of youth, it is impossible for them to sit together peacefully. The big baby is rebellious and the second baby is noisy. It is already a headache to think about it. If you are a single couple, it is even more important to have children as soon as possible. When single couples are in their twenties, their parents are usually in their fifties and sixties, and their physical condition is still relatively good. They don't need to take care of their parents. By the time they are in their thirties, their parents may be in their sixties and seventies, and they may not be able to take care of the elderly and children. Moreover, it is difficult for elderly couples to conceive, and the risk is relatively high. Postpartum mothers don't recover as fast as young mothers.

The question of having a boy or a girl.

If it's two girls, that's great. Girls are like China Merchants Bank. A pair of sisters attract two rich husbands. If it is a man and a woman, brothers and sisters love each other, or brothers and sisters are well maintained, it will be too sweet. A man and a woman are like Ping An Bank, family happiness! If two boys are born, the younger brother may be angry and cry by his older brother, and the boys, like HSBC, will really be "crazy". Many couples hope that a man and a woman born to them can be reconciled, but this kind of thing depends on luck after all. If you meet a family that prefers boys to girls, the first child is a daughter and the second child is a daughter, can this family accept this second child? If the first child is a boy and the second child is a boy, the economic pressure is too great, and you are worried that the child will not get a good wife in the future.

Reasons for blindly giving birth to a second child

Believe in the saying that many children are blessed.

Before family planning, many families thought that a family with more than two children was happy enough, and it was not so hard to take care of children in turn when they were old.

Excessive pursuit of boys

Although it is a scientific and civilized society now, it refuses to give preference to boys, but many people have some stubborn ideas that they just can't listen. If the first child is a girl, a boy must be born.

The second child policy opens the second child, and parents blindly follow suit.

After opening the second child, some parents think that they have finally bid farewell to the one-child era and have experienced the only child themselves, so they want to have a second child like most families.

Finally, no matter what the mothers choose, I just want to say to you: "You are very lucky!" " "