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M: Well, politeness is advocated now.
Tang: Being polite is the embodiment of one's self-cultivation as well as a national civilization.
M: Use honorific words to people.
Don: Mm-hmm.
Ma: Speak politely.
Don: Only in this way can we be commensurate with our civilized country.
For example, I saw you.
You saw me.
M: I have to talk to you like this.
Don: What do you mean?
M: Hey, comrade, I'm sorry. Let me ask you something.
Don: Look how polite it is. If you have something to do, just do it.
Let me ask you a question.
Don: Who are you going to ask?
M: I asked this comrade.
Don: Mm-hmm.
Ma: He is tall and burly with heavy eyebrows.
Don: Oh.
M: I heard that he is a crosstalk performer.
Don: Oh, what's this man's name?
His name is Comrade Tang Jiezhong. Is it in your company?
Don: Oh, now, now.
M: Ah!
Don: Yes, yes, yes.
M: Please come out and I'll meet him. Thank you.
Don: Don't thank me. I am.
Oh, you are Comrade Tang Jiezhong.
Don: Hey.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Don: Huh?
M: I haven't seen you for a long time. Excuse me!
Don: What's the big deal?
M: Did you hear this in your heart?
Don: I sound comfortable. How modest and polite.
Look, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Thank you.
Don: Kind words.
M: That's impolite.
Don: Huh?
M: It shows respect for each other.
Don: Oh.
M: I am modest and polite.
Don: Yes.
M: Hey, everyone has to talk like this.
Don: Oh, oh.
Man: You have to change the way. Don't use these polite words. You don't feel good about this.
Don: What can I say?
M: That's right.
Don: Mm-hmm.
Man: Hey! I said.
Don: What do you call it?
Let me ask you something about a person.
Don: Who are you going to ask?
M: This man.
Don: Mm-hmm.
Ma: A little taller than Wu Dalang, with a head and a tea tray. Yes, I heard that he is a crosstalk performer. What's your name? Everyone's name is Tang Lan.
Don: Hey, why do you call it a nickname?
M: Huh?
Don: Yes, I am. Can I help you?
Man: You are!
Don: Mm-hmm.
M: Don't be ridiculous.
Don: What do you mean? Don't be ridiculous. I'm Tang Jiezhong. what can I do for you?
M: I have something to do. I'm fine. Can I call you?
Don: Say something.
M: Come on, stop it. Neither side wants to. What are you talking about?
Don: Why are you here?
Ma: I said you, don't stare, don't stare. Staring is uglier than epiphysis.
Don: Drink!
M: Look, what does it look like? No, it's not. Please, please, why are you doing this? You see, sometimes angry, sometimes sick, sometimes sick, sometimes cold. Please, if you don't want to tell me, I'll ask someone else. Come on, stupid gentlemen.
Coach A: Everyone loves to listen to cross talk.
B: That's right.
Why do you like to listen to cross talk?
B: Huh?
A: Mainly because crosstalk can make people laugh. Listening to a cross talk, having fun and relaxing will make people feel very happy.
B: Alas.
A: Actually, it's not just crosstalk that makes people happy. There are many things in life that can make people happy.
B: Really?
Look. This is not recent.
B: Huh?
A: The Olympic Games have just ended.
Oh, yes.
A: China won 32 gold medals, 17 silver medals and 14 bronze medals. Ah, the number of gold medals increased by 4 compared with the last Sydney Olympic Games, ranking second, surpassing Russia, ah, how wonderful!
B: Alas.
A: How happy I am!
B: That's right.
Have you seen it?
I watch it every day.
Can you see it clearly?
B: well, I'm a silly boy. You can't read it on TV?
A: You don't understand. An expert looks at the doorway, a layman looks at the excitement. You, just watch the fun.
B: Yes.
A: I am different! Not only to see, but also to sum up while watching.
B: Oh, summary. Summarize what?
A: In short, sum up the achievements and find out the shortcomings.
B: What did you sum up?
A: According to my summary, we still keep ahead in many traditional advantage projects.
B: Oh.
What do you like, diving, weightlifting, shooting, table tennis and badminton? We are still strong.
B: That's right.
A: There are still some projects. We have made a historic breakthrough.
B: Really?
Oh, yes. You are like tennis women's doubles. Did we win the gold medal?
B: That's right.
A: The men's double rowing is also a gold medal, isn't it?
B: That's right.
A: The gold medal with the highest gold content.
B: Huh?
A: Men's 1 10 meter hurdles.
Oh, yes.
A: This is not only the first time that China won the gold medal in this event, but also a breakthrough for the whole of Asia.
Oh, yes.
A: Our women's volleyball team is also great.
Hmm.
A: How wonderful it is to win the Olympic gold medal again after 20 years!
Oh, so ... you're good at sports?
A: I ... What do I study? That's what I do.
Oh, you do sports?
You don't know me?
B: ... forgive my ignorance, but I really don't know you.
Coach XXX, haven't you heard of it?
B: ... number
A: Wow! You wait a little longer.
What am I waiting for?
What are you waiting for? You will see me on TV soon!
Oh, are you on TV? What program?
A: What's the program? Oriental time and space!
B: Eastern time and space? What column is it?
A: You don't have to ask. Son of the East!
B: (admiringly) Wow! Son of the East?
A: Alas, "Coach, the head of China Sports", me!
B: Really?
A: Alas. Well, the advertising company will come to me soon.
B: What can I do for you?
You know what, Cai Zhenhua?
Yes, the head coach of China table tennis team.
A: Oh, Global Connect, don't let him shoot advertisements.
B: That's right.
A: Just one stop, just one word, "I can". Right?
B: That's right.
A: Alas, in a couple of days, Global Connect will ask me to shoot an advertisement!
B: Really?
A: Alas. I'll stop there then, and I'll be in two rows!
B: "I can!"
A: ... "I have!"
B: Huh? ! "I have"? !
Look, this is, this is, this is ... almost there!
B: Oh. Alas, it's so exciting. Which event are you the coach of?
A: Me? Which project?
B: Ah.
A: A lot! How much!
B: How many?
A: I ... teach everything!
B: teach everything?
A: Well, what do you do, such as wrestling, swimming, boxing, shooting, gymnastics, track and field and equestrian relay races?
B: Oh, these plenary sessions?
A: Well, teach me everything!
Wow, you know so much!
A: What's the matter? !
People like you are rare!
Oh, yes. Not yesterday afternoon-
B: Huh?
A: The State Sports General Administration wants to see me.
B: Oh, the State Sports General Administration wants you?
A: Ah.
B: What do you want?
A: Beg me to become a monk!
B: Huh? Looking for you to become a monk? Is it Shaolin Temple or Famen Temple?
A: Why Shaolin Temple?
Didn't you say you wanted to become a monk?
I don't understand. "Becoming a monk" means that I haven't been a coach for a long time, rest at home, and then people ask me to leave home to continue teaching …
Is that called becoming a monk?
A: Huh?
B: that's called "coming out of the mountain"!
A: "Out of the Mountain"? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, come to me.
B: Alas.
I was watching people playing chess in the alley when I heard "no, no, no, no, no …" (siren) outside, and a car came …
B: Alas, alas, please wait.
A: What's the matter?
B: Is the State Sports General Administration coming to see you? Or the public security bureau to arrest you?
Why did you arrest me?
B: Why is the General Administration of Sport still saying "no, no, no, no, no, no, no …"? Isn't this a police car?
A: You don't understand. They sent a police car to pick me up.
B: Ah, send a police car to pick you up?
A: As soon as I saw it, I said, "Yo!" What's this police car doing here?
B: That's right.
A: Just wondering, two policemen jumped out of the car and stood in front of me and asked me, "Are you XXX?" "Ah, I am." "Come with us!"
B: OK, I'll arrest you!
A: What? I asked clearly for fear of mistaking one for another.
B: Oh.
A: Please take me to the car, turn on the siren, "No, no, no, no, no …" and then go straight to …
B: Where?
A: Diaoyutai!
Oh, Diaoyutai State Guesthouse?
Oh, yes.
What are you doing there?
A: Well, the General Administration of Sports hosted a banquet for me.
Wow, such a big face?
A: Well, when we arrived, many leaders of the General Administration of Sports had arrived. Shake my hand and introduce yourself.
oh
A: We all know each other. Sit down and eat. Put me right in the middle. The director said, "Let's talk while eating." Wave to the waiter, "waiter, bring the food!" " "Oh, after a while, the waiter came with a tray, each with a bowl, full of enthusiasm. ...
B: What?
A: Mutton soup! Wow, this is great! ……
B: (Interrupting) Alas, alas, please wait a moment.
A: What's the matter?
B: I said, will the General Administration of Sport invite you to Diaoyutai for dinner and mutton soup?
A: Huh?
B: Eat something good!
What's wrong with mutton soup? People give a lot of peppers in the state guesthouse! Unlimited, full drink!
Well, this is easy to handle.
A: Just after drinking mutton soup, the waiter brought another pot!
B: What?
A: Sticking cakes and cooking small fish!
B: Huh? ..... There are fish in the Diaoyutai? !
Look, Diaoyutai, there must be a lot of fish. !
B: Oh, are there many fish in Diaoyutai? It's over. I don't recommend you to eat here.
A: What's the matter?
B: Why don't you just say what the State Sports General Administration wants from you?
You see, I was confused at first, but then the director told me.
What are you talking about?
The secretary said, "Coach X, please come here, that's all. You see, the Athens Olympic Games has just concluded and the Olympic flag has been handed over to Beijing. In four years, it will be our country's turn to hold it. This time, let's have a good fight. A * * * won 32 gold medals. Four years later, let's take it. This gold medal is definitely only much more than this one. So, I want to find you out and ask you to be the head coach of the 2008 China Olympic team. Are you interested? "
B: Oh, would you please be the head coach? ! Did you promise?
A: You see, the organization trusts me so much, then I must be duty-bound!
Oh!
It is my duty to win glory for my country! I said, "Please guide me? All right! No problem! I got it. I'll do it! It is guaranteed that there will be many more gold medals after four years. "
What a big breath!
A: "But there is a little difference."
B: What?
A: "Please ask me to be a coach. The decision is up to me. "
B: Oh.
A: "When I say I want to use that athlete, I have to use that athlete. If someone says no to me, such a person is not a thing! "
B: That's right. Don't use suspects. Don't use suspects!
The secretary said, "No problem. You are the head coach. This is your phone. " I said, "All right. Look at me. I promise we will have a bunch of gold medals! " "
B: Wow!
A: "Cut the crap. I am going home and ready to go. "
Wow, you are really impatient!
A: "Hello, waiter, is there any fish in the paste?" Give me a bag! "
B: Huh? Does Diaoyutai still include dinner?
A: "Oh, pack a bag! Do you have any mutton soup? Call me, too! "
B: Wow!
A: My wife and children haven't eaten at home yet!
Well, the whole family has dinner together.
A: I took a dozen bags, and the General Administration of Sports sent police dogs to take me home. ...
B: Huh? Police dog? !
A: No, no, police car, police car, send a police car to take me home. I have to start thinking quickly!
What are you thinking about?
A: You see, the 2008 Olympic Games can be said to be very fast. Now, I must start thinking about what events and which athletes use them. I have to decide early!
Oh, yes.
No, I've been thinking about it all night I just decided on the list of delegations this morning.
B: Ah, it's settled so soon?
A: Look, how neat it is!
B: Then can you tell me who is on the list?
Tell who? Tell you what? What are you doing?
I don't care. Everyone cares about the Olympics and wants to hear new things!
Oh, does everyone want to hear it?
B: Alas.
A: That will do.
Tell me about it.
I'm going to form a dream team to participate in the 2008 Olympic Games!
B: Really?
Oh, yes. This time, the athletes will keep the gold medal! I won the silver medal and bronze medal this time, but I didn't even get the medal or even the ranking. I have to change people.
B: What are the events?
A: Which items should I change? The person next to me said that this shooting was good, so I stopped, as if I didn't win the gold medal in archery, right?
B: No.
A: Change!
Oh, shoot an arrow. who is it?
A: Who is it? Hey hey, Huarong!
B: Huh? !
A: "Little Li Guang" Hua Rong, alas, I have heard of him. Step by step! male ...
B: Wait a minute, wait a minute.
A: Huh?
B: Huarong Road in Little Li Guang, right?
A: Yes.
B: Song Dynasty. He has been dead for over 900 years. Do you still use him? !
Look, look, I told you. I knew for a long time that whoever I said, someone must play the devil's advocate. This one won't work, and neither will that one. Otherwise, I will tell the General Administration of Sports that such people are not things!
Oh, me? !
A: if I say yes, he will be fine! It doesn't matter if Huarong dies.
B: Ah.
A: Let's look for his descendants.
B: Looking for offspring?
A: Dragon begets dragon, and phoenix begets phoenix. The mouse's son can make holes. Hua Rongdao is a good archer, and his descendants can't be wrong. Find his descendants! Go to the public security bureau to check! Look who's surnamed Hua, just look inside! Find him and use him!
B: ah, how to find it? !
A: Alas. Next are the race walking and the marathon. I will ...
B: Who?
A: Mr. Dai!
B: Manager Dai?
Alas, manager Dai, the "Shen Xing Pacific Insurance"!
B: Well, it's Water Margin again!
A: You can walk more than 800 miles a day! Foreigners, can you compete?
No, I can’t .
A: Oh! Oh! Is it over? !
B: It's all gone. This is dead, too!
A: Dead, too?
B: Ah!
A: Never mind, find his descendants! Dragon begets dragon, phoenix begets phoenix, and mouse's son can make holes!
B: Well, that's all he knows!
A: I want to change boxing, too!
B: boxing? With who?
Song Wu!
Wu ... Oh, by the way, even tigers can be killed, and it's no problem to hit people.
Is this dead?
B: Dead!
A: Looking for future generations! Dragon begets dragon, phoenix begets phoenix, and mouse's son can make holes!
Well, here we go again!
A: I also plan to increase my strength in the weightlifting team.
B: who will be added?
A: I'm going to send Lu to the weightlifting team!
Lu? !
Lu, it takes a lot of effort to hang the weeping willow upside down!
Oh, yes.
A: dead, too?
B: That's right.
A: Looking for offspring.
A, B: Dragon begets dragon, phoenix begets phoenix, and mouse's son can make holes!
I know all your tricks!
A: Look, it's over!
B: No way!
Why not?
B: This is Lu.
A: Huh?
He is a monk!
A: Then what? ...
B: Hey, hey.
A: Oh ... Is Lu a monk?
B: That's right.
Oh, a monk. ...
B: Alas.
A: It doesn't matter, change someone else!
B: Who is it?
A: Golden Wushu!
Kim ... why did Kim's martial arts come out?
Well, you haven't seen Yue Zhuan. Xu Jinguo wants to fight DaSong and find someone to lead the troops. Jin Wu Shu didn't volunteer. Ah, one hand lifted a tripod, and both hands were so powerful. How hard it is for those two hands to be together!
B: Well, he can figure it out!
A: It's just martial arts!
Hmm.
A: Still a niche player!
Hey, look.
A: My swimming team will use new people, too!
B: Who is it?
A: Zhang Shun!
B: Oh, White Stripes in the Waves, Zhang Shun?
A: Oh, yes, the white stripes in the waves are so watery! This is not a monk, is it?
B: ... number
A: Look, it's over!
B: I said, Shui Bo, do you want to use all these heroes in Liangshan? !
A: There are not only heroes but also villains.
B: Who is it?
A: Gao Qiu! I'm going to send a golf ball to participate in the men's football competition!
B: Really?
A: Alas, people are big. This is the ancestor of football, the king of the ball! Let him play, Korea, Brazil, Italy, all play!
B: All right. I said I sent it for a long time. Why are they all from the Song Dynasty?
Too late, isn't it? It doesn't matter, I'll give you one from the Han Dynasty!
Han ... who is it?
A: Liu Bei!
B: Huh? ! Liu Bei also came out? What does he take part in?
A: Equestrian!
B: equestrian?
A: Alas, there are no equestrian events in the Olympic Games, like Tanxi in Ma Yue, Liu Huangshu. There must be a way to train horses, and it's just right to participate in equestrian competitions!
B: Well, I changed to Three Kingdoms again!
A: We have too many talents in China! Every project has people!
B: Anything else?
A: Fencing!
B: Who?
Ling Huchong!
B: Huh? ! Martial arts novels are also out? !
Alas, Ling Huchong! Nine swords fight alone! Your referee didn't misjudge, so I'll shoot you first!
B: Huh? !
A: floor exercise, floor exercise, I want to use it ...
B: Who is it?
A: ... the Monkey King!
B: Huh? Monkey Sun is out, too? !
The Monkey King can do somersaults. No one can compare with him!
B: Good!
A: long jumpers ...
With who?
A: ... the Monkey King!
Why him again?
A: Alas, the Monkey King does a somersault!
B: Yes, no one can match it.
high jumper ...
With who?
A: ... the Monkey King!
Why him again?
A: Look, heaven goes to earth. Is this monkey good at it? !
Oh, yes
A: pole vault ...
B: Who?
A, B: the Monkey King!
I knew it must be him!
He has a golden hoop. He can stretch and contract. Pole vault is the best!
I say you wait.
A: What's the matter?
B: You haven't said a word for a long time! The outlaws of the Marsh came first, and the Three Kingdoms came last, followed by martial arts novels. Oh, it's a journey to the west now? !
A: What's the matter?
What you said is all fiction. Where can you find the people inside? !
Oh, you don't think that's possible?
B: Absolutely not!
What I said can't be realized?
B: No!
A: I can't lead the team to win the championship?
B: You can't win the championship, but you can win the coronary heart disease!
A: That's ... Well, I'll change it!
B: how to change it?
A: I don't need these people!
Well, you have to be realistic!
A: Be realistic.
B: Alas.
A: Then ... I'll use you!
B: ... using me? What do you need me to do?
A: Use you, use you to play basketball!
Playing basketball?
A: Not only basketball, but also basketball and football.
Oh, and playing football?
A: Not only football, but also!
B: Anything else?
After playing football, you can play baseball. After baseball, you play handball, after handball, you play volleyball, after volleyball, you play tennis, tennis and table tennis, after table tennis and badminton, after badminton, there are hockey, shot put, hammer throw and finally beach volleyball. These ball games will be round!
I can't play any of these balls!
A: You are modest, you are modest!
How can I be modest?
Don't you have a nickname?
B: What's my name?
A: "asshole"!
B: Fuck you!