Especially after the summer vacation, the mental exhaustion at that time was still vivid. I think both parents and children were very happy when they first had a holiday, but unfortunately the good times didn't last long. In a few days, the mood of being a parent quickly fell into a trough. Accompany the baby with homework. Isn't this a joke? Either it is too difficult, even the parents in the Olympic English metropolis can't teach their children well-compared with the training class teachers, they will always fail in patience and attitude.
What I want is a kind and filial mother, not a child who loses his temper and his parents explode. It seems that parents can only choose to enroll their children. However, for many families, hundreds of thousands of classes will go bankrupt after a summer vacation.
It costs a lot of money to enroll your baby in class, and self-counseling is easy to burst. So how should this problem be solved?
Daniel Pinker, the speaker of a TED talk, wrote a best-selling book "Drive", which clearly summed up this eternal and effective force-three words, internal drive.
Simply put, the internal driving force is the driving force that people can accomplish something spontaneously and independently. There are three kinds of internal driving forces: cognitive internal driving force, self-improvement internal driving force and subsidiary internal driving force.
Internal drive, also known as internal motivation, is a kind of motivation to do things out of inner needs. For example, scientists can do scientific research in the laboratory day and night, and mathematicians can do calculations on manuscript paper without sleep, all because of their love for academics and their own internal drive.
The opposite of internal drive is external drive, that is, a person does not want to do something from the heart, but is forced to do it by the outside world. For example, for the college entrance examination, study subjects you hate, wait in line for traffic lights to avoid being punished, and so on. External driving force only exists when compared with specific external conditions. Unlike the internal driving force, the external driving force is not lasting.
With a real success story, to specifically explain why we should cultivate children's internal drive-
Herbert Simon, an American psychologist and winner of the 1978 Nobel Prize in Economics, wrote in his autobiography that his childhood study was completely spontaneous, and he "mastered his education entirely by himself and rarely asked for other people's opinions. I went to the public library to look for books. I taught myself economics, psychology, ancient history, analytic geometry, calculus and physics from the books left by my uncle and brother.
Therefore, Herbert Simon's achievements, as well as his later Nobel Prize in Economics, all stem from his powerful internal driving force.
In the eyes of educators, children with internal drive will not be too bad in the future.
When children begin to consider the costs and consequences of their actions, they have the internal motivation to do a good job. For children, dreams and interests are their motivation to learn and explore the world, and they are also their internal motivation to do things.
When a child has a dream in his heart, he has a direction to work hard: he is interested in things and has the motivation to do them seriously. It is also easier for children to self-manage and self-restrain, regard their study and life as "masters", and spontaneously achieve twice the result with half the effort when doing anything.
If a child has a strong internal drive, he is willing to do many things. Compared with others of the same age, they can often do better, and are more likely to make great contributions to society and realize their own values better.
Children with strong internal drive often have a deeper understanding of things. They will know exactly what they should and should not do. They will plan their own time, have a clear plan for their own lives, and can consciously do related things without parental supervision.
If a person wants to achieve extraordinary achievements, he needs talent and internal drive, and both are indispensable. Children with strong internal drive will be more successful when they grow up. Why is internal drive so important? Because it is not enough to do things by talent, but also by unremitting efforts.
Many talented people achieve nothing in the end because they don't persist long enough. It is more important to persist in this matter than short-term intensity, but long-term endurance. A large number of facts have proved that children with internal drive can do one thing more intently, effectively and persistently.
If a person has internal drive, he can persist from the heart for a long time until he is excellent in the end.
I remember when I was a child, the Chinese teacher would ask everyone in class, what is your ideal? What do you want to be when you grow up? At that time, we would talk about being a teacher, a policeman, an actor, a writer and so on.
Later, most of us forgot what we said and didn't become what we wanted to be. Because we didn't grasp the true meaning of what the teacher said at that time, and we didn't know what the true meaning of the ideal was. So now, as parents, we should guide our children well, help them set up their own ideals and understand why they should study hard.
Ideals and goals are the steering wheel of life and indispensable to life.
Usually, the strength of the internal driving force in learning is closely related to the sense of value, desire and the difficulty of achieving the goal.
Among them, the establishment of goals needs to meet two conditions: first, the target value needs to conform to the children's own situation and keep up with the pace of development of the times; Second, don't aim too high. When setting goals, don't set them too high and too difficult, divorced from reality and difficult to achieve. This will seriously dampen the enthusiasm of children and will not play its due role.
It is not easy to help children establish an ideal state, that is, to find the intersection of high sense of accomplishment and high sense of meaning in two sets of social needs and personal interests. So parents can grow up with their children and explore together.
In Maslow's hierarchy of needs theory, to integrate all human needs, the focus of internal drive can only converge to the high-level needs of self-realization.
Moreover, combined with previous examples, it is found that the internal driving force of learning is mainly caused by interest and environment, and interest itself, especially interest that meets the mainstream value needs of society, is highly related to its childhood experience. Feynman, a physicist who exists as a god, began to have a strong interest in physics from an early age, and then embarked on the road of academic research in physics.
In other words, to cultivate children's learning motivation, it is necessary to discover children's interests from an early age and guide them. As parents, we can use our spare time to read ancient poems to our children, learn to draw with our children, visit science and technology museums, watch various exhibitions, practice musical instruments together, and so on, and try in many ways to find out their interests.
Cultivating children's inner drive is to stimulate their inner initiative. . As parents, we can't ignore the influence of "environmental induction", a necessary internal driving factor, on children.
In leisure time, take children to touch the grass and feel the artistic conception of ancient poetry; I took my children to travel more than half of China in winter and summer vacation, and felt the great rivers and mountains of the motherland and the humanistic customs of various places. Parents educate their children in the process of traveling, cultivate their curiosity about the world and help them learn skills in real life, thus stimulating their interest in learning and making them more active in their lifelong struggle.
A child who has frequent contact with nature will have richer personality, sharper sense and more creativity than a child who has little contact with nature. Let children integrate into nature, let children feel their close contact with nature, learn to respect life and accept themselves.