The teacher who led me to study this book said it was worth reading at least three times. I read it once, and now I'm going to study it for the second time. Although I haven't read all of them carefully, I feel very good. Let me briefly share with you the contents of the first and second chapters. My topic is to integrate the Tao and technique of the left and right brain, mainly talking about how to fully understand the development mode of children's thinking and improve children's mood.
As we all know, we have all experienced it. If a child is sick, even if it is a common cold, we will be very anxious and sad. We always know our children's bodies like the back of our hands, even if they sneeze or cough. We can all be alert, and then find a way to solve the problem immediately, and want to see if there is anything wrong with the child's body.
However, we often lack common sense about children's brains. Understand the knowledge of the brain, so as to understand the child, shape the child's brain, and let the child get a lifetime of happiness. I think this is what many parents are willing to do, and it is also a result they want. Therefore, we must first understand the way of brain development, that is, the theory of brain development. As mentioned above, our educational methods will affect the thinking mode and development of children's brains, not only the development of children's emotional intelligence, but also the development of children's IQ.
We all know that many things in life are explained. But the child's brain, when the child was born, we didn't get a manual. In fact, this manual needs our own hearts to understand, observe, learn and discover. Understanding the process of children's brain development is the process of reading this instruction. This process can help us better understand children and help their brains develop healthily.
There is an example in the book: two-year-old Kyle and her nanny had a car accident and the nanny was taken to the hospital by an ambulance. Although Kyle was not hurt physically, he was very scared. Generally speaking, what do our parents do when dealing with such problems? They may just want him to forget about it and distract him. In fact, after this incident, the child has been in a state of fear, and even has been afraid of not knowing what happened. This fear has always been in his heart. As long as this fear is not eliminated, it is impossible for children to really forget this matter. We have encountered this situation in our lives. The baby may fall from a very high place, or encounter other shocks. How do our parents handle this kind of thing?
Kyle's mother Mary first hugged Kyle and made him cry for a while. Because children's emotions can only be expressed by crying, because their brains are not well developed and their language skills are not perfect, it is difficult for him to describe a thing logically like an adult, so he can only cry. After that, Kyle's mother communicated with Kyle many times in the next few days, guiding him to repeat what happened, even though his vocabulary may be limited. The core of Mary's approach is to integrate the brain, which can help children understand what happened, sort out logic and improve their mood. This integration process can also help adults change our educational thinking and understand and appreciate children.
Kyle had a car accident, and he was in a state of confusion and fear. At this time, his right brain is dominant, so he is very scared and doesn't know how to control this fear. After his mother helped Kyle clarify the logical relationship by retelling his experience, and then expressed it in words, Mark's left and right brains were integrated, thus restoring calm. When our right brain is dominant, our emotions are often very chaotic. When the left brain is dominant, it is often very rigid. Let's look at another example of rigidity in which the left brain is dominant.
Tina recently encountered an interesting thing, showing what happens when the rigid left brain completely dominates the brain. Tina ordered a cake for her son who just turned one from the grocery store. She wants a "cupcake", that is, several cupcakes are connected with icing, so it looks like a big cake. When she placed an order, she told the cake maker to write her son's name "JP" on the cake. As a result, before the birthday party, she got a cake like this: JP is on the cupcake.
When Tina told the cake chef that she would "write' JP' on the cupcakes", she didn't expect the chef to understand her words so blindly. This example is a very typical example. When our left brain is dominant, we tend to think about things that are very rigid and logical, and often forget to think about and understand children's real intentions. When children don't want to go to kindergarten, some parents may immediately start thinking in the left brain when they encounter such a thing. Children have to go to kindergarten, and they can't back down when they encounter difficulties. If they don't go to kindergarten, how can they go to a good primary school and get into a good university? How to find a good job? No, anyway, the child is three years old and must go to kindergarten! And so on ~ then we haven't considered the feelings of children, what is the real reason, and whether we should try to understand and be considerate of children. Listen to what the child thinks, what he really thinks and what is in his heart.
If we and our children are in a chaotic state dominated by the right brain or a rigid state dominated by the left brain most of the time, our happiness index will be very, very low. Therefore, we must stay in the middle of the river of happiness between chaos and rigidity in order to feel harmony. Therefore, in life, in dealing with things, in communicating with people, in communicating with children, between husband and wife, between friends and in various interpersonal relationships, we can't just use the left brain or the right brain, otherwise, our life will become unhappy or there will be various conflicts and contradictions, and we will not be able to enjoy a happy and harmonious life.
Therefore, it is necessary to integrate the brain with the left and right brain, so that we can get a harmonious state. The integration of the brain is divided into lateral integration of the left and right brains. The left brain is responsible for logic and the right brain is responsible for emotion. Integrating the left and right brains makes our department neither rigid nor chaotic. Vertical integration is divided into upper and lower brain integration, the upper brain is responsible for thinking, and the lower brain is responsible for impulsive and intuitive functions.
Many mothers may say that my children have grown up. Isn't it a little late for integration? Actually, it's not. If we know this theory earlier, it can really help us raise our children better. But it doesn't matter if you didn't understand this paper before, because our brain is plastic, and the plasticity of the brain runs through people's life. In fact, not only babies need brain integration, but we also need brain integration. Learning the integration of the brain can make us know how to communicate with people, how to communicate with babies, be happy parents and cultivate happy babies.
Our brains can be reorganized. Every experience we have, every experience will affect our brain development. The process of rewiring is the process of brain integration. Every experience will activate our brain cells, thus reconstructing our brain structure. This is also a foundation of brain plasticity. So it's never too late to help your baby's brain integrate. We must not fall into remorse and guilt, because when you start, you will get a chance to integrate. Of course, the earlier you start, the less detours you take to avoid some pain.
One more thing, parents must be reminded to be patient in the process of raising their children. Because the brain develops slowly, its process is very long. Before the age of three, children's brains were dominated by the right brain, and before the age of twenty-five, people's brains were underdeveloped. And we know that the shaping of the brain is to observe a lifetime. In our life, we can exercise our brains, promote the integration of our brains, live a happy life, live a healthy interpersonal relationship, and let ourselves and our children enjoy harmony in the middle of a happy river ~
At this point, we have learned the importance of integrating the brain, and the right brain of children before the age of three is dominant. Let's take a look at how to integrate the left and right brains to improve children's mood.
As we said above, the left brain is logical, linguistic and linear, and the right brain is emotional, nonverbal and comprehensive. The right brain can think about the whole scene. It can capture people's facial expressions, eyes, tone, intonation and so on. It plays a very important role in the expression and understanding of emotions. The connection between the left and right brains is to make our life more harmonious and meaningful, so that our life will not become chaotic and rigid, so that we can have good interpersonal relationships, so that we and our children can face up to the logic of our left brain and the emotionalization of our right brain, understand ourselves and the world around us, and enjoy this harmony in the middle of a happy river.
Everyone has emotions, especially when we face the emotional crisis of children. If our state becomes chaotic, children will feel confused and afraid. And when we are in a rigid state, we will not be able to understand children's behavior and lack discrimination against children's emotional changes. We don't understand what the child's real intention is, and we can't respond to the child's needs or it is very laborious to respond. Therefore, in this crisis, we need to integrate our brains first. Integrate yourself first, let us be in the center of the river of happiness, and let us have a harmonious state. Only in this way can we promote the integration of children's brains, respond to children in good faith, understand their needs, understand their children and appreciate them. After we integrate ourselves, we can help children integrate their left and right brains to improve their mood. What are the methods of integration? Or is there any executable method?
The first way is to listen and pay attention, which requires us not only to listen with our ears, but also to listen attentively, to feel children's emotions, to observe children's behaviors, children's little tricks, children's facial expressions, to establish emotional ties with children, which is what we call * * * feelings, and then to guide children to express their emotions. We should listen to the child's heart, and feel * * * with the child is to use the right brain to establish contact with the child's right brain and then guide it to the left brain. As we know, language is the function of the left brain. When children begin to express their emotions in language and use the logic of the left brain to sort out their emotions, they realize the connection between the left and right brains, thus achieving emotional stability.
When we are listening to children, we must avoid orders and demands. When children have emotional problems and need help, we must pay attention to them and respect them. Because when children have a cold and a fever, we really attach great importance to it, even anxious. When the child is emotional, we must pay more attention to this matter, respond to the child in a targeted manner, and have an intimate conversation with the child.
There is an example in the book. When the child blames his mother for not saying good night to himself and is angry, if the mother is angered by the way the child speaks and thinks that the child is challenging herself, her reaction is actually very contrary to the child's needs. The mother didn't listen attentively to the child's needs and didn't recognize the child's emotions, so the result may be that the child will burst into tears or become more angry.
On the contrary, the mother takes a listening and caring attitude, responds to the child in a targeted manner, and gives the child love and respect, so that the child will feel understood. When the mother is willing to try to listen and pay attention to the child's voice, the child often calms down and is willing to open his heart to communicate with his mother.
The second method is to share experiences, calm emotions, help children retell experiences, and let children's left brain sort out the details of experiences. Then it is transformed into language and expressed in the form of language, which is actually the process of left and right brain fusion. So how to guide children to retell their experiences, especially some bad experiences? We must respect their wishes, instead of forcing them to say it when they are in a good mood or playing with toys. This way of retelling stories is suitable for children from ten months to ten years old. We can complete the integration of his left and right brain by letting the child tell his own experience, thus improving the child's mood.
The ability to retell stories is great, especially for some unhappy things. We know that we adults often have close friends. When we encounter unhappy things, it is good to talk to our friends sometimes. Let's repeat some troubles and bad things we have experienced. Really many times, it feels much better to say it. So are children. Some emotions of children must not be ignored. Especially when children cry, parents often like to say don't cry, or you are not allowed to cry, or gentle parents say, don't cry, it's okay, don't be sad if you have a mother, just be careful next time and so on. This reaction is really common. At this time, children will be confused and confused when facing their parents' responses, and they will feel that they are not understood or that their emotions are wrong. This kind of sadness or fear has always existed in the child's heart and cannot be expressed. In the long run, it will be extremely unfavorable to the growth of children.
Therefore, when children encounter unhappy things, try to guide them to share their experiences and repeat them. This can help children relieve their anxiety, fear or other bad emotions. Only after such emotions are expressed can we have a really good emotional state. If the mother can attach importance to and understand her children and guide them to tell their feelings and experiences, the children will be willing to try to share them with their mothers if they feel that they are understood.
Finally, there is another way to integrate left and right, and another way is to teach children to understand his left brain and right brain. We can teach children to understand his brain structure and his left and right brain functions. It is very helpful for children to understand the function of left and right brain and integrate left and right brain. We are willing to integrate ourselves only after we adults understand the functions of our left and right brains and the ways to integrate them. Therefore, after the child understands this, the child will be very willing to integrate his left and right brains, and when he helps the child integrate, the child can understand what you are doing and cooperate with you more easily. I can understand why I lost my temper.
Then these two cartoons about teaching children to know left brain and right brain are shared with you. They can help us to understand the structure of the brain, the function and role of the left and right brain, and understand the integration methods together with children. We can often share these two cartoons with our children so that they can know themselves better.
Finally, summarize the key contents of integrating the left and right brains in one sentence: first, integrate yourself, then help children to connect the left and right brains, and teach children to face up to their own logic and emotions, so as to understand themselves and the world around them in the middle of a happy river and enjoy harmony. Be happy parents and raise happy children.