Huang Zhizhong joined the debate group as a club interest in middle school, and later became the champion of Qipa theory from learning debate to professional professor debate. He has always been curious and studied a theme: "How do people form their own opinions and change them?"
We often say that what is right is not necessarily right for people, but what we do is right for people and wrong for things. Because everything does not exist objectively, it is the result of prejudice and choice. We have prejudice first, and then we will see what this person has done.
The underlying logic is the most fundamental thing that can be explained clearly in one sentence. For example, the so-called law is the principle and exception, and all jurists are studying how to deal with accidents. The so-called aesthetics is the science of studying emotions, and all artists study how to make you produce the emotions he produces.
The underlying logic, no one likes to be changed.
The underlying logic between people is "no one likes to be changed." For people, I am convinced that I have been defeated. Each of us is the result of prejudice and choice, and the process of persuasion means that our past ideas are wrong.
The speaker is earnest and the listener is reserved. When everyone is attacked, they will increase their desire to refute. She/he will constantly look for counterexamples in their hearts. Therefore, all preaching can't really change people. Persuade people, not to change others, but to make people think in the direction you want him to say, and let him say what you want him to say.
Sentence patterns that give people the right to choose and choose.
Everyone wants to have the right to choose, so when we want to convince others, we should mainly give them the right to choose. Several sentence patterns of giving the right of choice to the other party
1、? "You should" was changed to "I need"
For example, change "you should value me" to "I need you to value me."
"You should understand me, but I need you to understand me."
In this way, the choice is in your hands.
2. Change "why not" to "why not"
Why don't you quit smoking? Isn't it harmful to your health?
But if it is changed to "Have you ever thought about quitting smoking in your life?" 1- 10 How strong is your desire to quit smoking? This score is high. I thought it was only 2-3. I am curious. Why is there a 6-7? Is it that serious to drink and drop articles? No big deal. Make a fool of yourself. What do you care? "
In this way, let the other person say what you want him to say, and let him feel that he came up with the method and made the decision himself.
When American police are on duty, they are often accused of using violence. How to reduce the violent behavior of police on duty? The solution is not to let the police receive training in duty means, but language training. Because when a person doesn't understand the situation, it is generally contradictory and will not cooperate.
Therefore, explaining the situation and telling people complete facts and reasons is the simplest way to convince people. This is why we need to spend 90% of our time learning the knowledge of the three elements (knowledge, skills and behavior) that we are used to forming, and know why we should form this habit.
This is also the terms of unconditional return for online shopping for X days. Chaos also adopted the first 30-day unreasonable refund.
The routine of dating talents is to provide the other party with the freedom to go back on their word at any time.
Most of our preferences and choices are not determined by reason, but by feelings, that is, emotions. When we communicate, emotions are very powerful. The so-called "move" to persuade a person is emotion.
In the process of communicating with people, there are three important emotions, anger/surprise/sadness.
Anger will strengthen a person's self-concept, because when a person is angry, that is, when he is in a state of war, it is also the time when he least doubts himself.
Surprise (fright), as opposed to anger, is the time to make a person doubt himself the most and correct himself the most.
Sadness helps us find out what is most important. The so-called dying person, his words are also good. When we are sad, we will remember the most important thing in life.
What bothers us is not negative emotions, but chaotic emotions. In the face of chaotic emotions, we can take the scene contrast method to separate the emotions and find the real emotions.
question
What's the problem? The problem is the gap between expectation and reality. Expectations arise and problems change. Your problems are all your expectations, so the problems are your expectations.
The problem in your eyes is someone else's solution. We see others smoking and hate his cigarettes, but smoking is a way for smokers to solve boredom.
The essence of procrastination is not wanting to do it, so the real problem is not wanting to do it.
Customers don't trust you, which can be the problem of customers, you or the company. Who suffers, who changes, who needs, who gives in.
How to describe this problem?
The phenomenon is the same, but the meaning may be different. For example, raising wages means raising wages for some people, recognition for others and fairness.
We tell the same story in different ways, which means different things.
Do you pay attention to initiative and interaction when telling stories?
In an interactive story, everyone in the story is emotional.