Tian Yulan has a son who is always at the top of his class. His son is her medal, shield and luxury. Before going back to visit relatives, her son had just won the first place in the exam. She laughed and said that her state was like a whole face, ten years younger.
She set up an honor cabinet at home, and the vacant C position was reserved for the Olympiad with the highest gold content. She also said that as long as her son won the second prize or above, she could go out without makeup.
At the relatives' party, the mother and daughter saw someone else's children win the first prize in the singing contest and performed a song on the spot.
Tian Yulan immediately turned the topic to various clues about his son's academic performance. He has to speak English before eating fruit, and he will pull himself up if he forgets his face.
Knowing that his son is underdeveloped and has no talent is actually boasting that he only loves learning and always comes first in exams.
The most outrageous thing, of course, is to order the child to recite pi on the spot and proudly announce that my son can recite 2000!
What's the use except applying for the Guinness Book of Records? Can only waste the child's brain capacity. Oh, maybe the only use is to make Li Nan uncomfortable. He also has children and his grades are not very good (Song Jia).
Even Tian's husband couldn't stand this retaliatory sunbathing, and repeatedly looked for opportunities to interrupt her, but she always returned to the topic of study. The end of dazzle learning is not dazzle, but deterrence to others. For example, my son took a remedial class. Did you participate? Why not? You can't do this, you'll delay the child.
At another party, she blurted out: you have to sign up for the children. It's not a problem to count down all the time.
The ending is to force Nan Li's daughter to cry in shame and end the baby's dryness in an extremely unpleasant atmosphere. This scene is too familiar. I have experienced more than one strong and strange person asking me on various occasions in an unquestionable tone that I can't interrupt:
Why not buy a school district house?
Why not immigrate?
Why don't you sign up for an early education class?
Why? Why? Why?
Why do you really care about your child's future? Are you really worried that you are not a responsible parent? Of course not. Their real purpose is to sell you something, or to prove their wisdom to gain a sense of superiority, or to seek their peers, because they are not so confident about the educational methods that cost a lot of money. The more people join, the lower the risk.
The mentality of bringing people into the partnership can sometimes make them temporarily appear generous. Tian Yulan will share teaching materials with her main competitor, Nan Li. Her daughter can't catch up with her son in any way.
Encourage other parents to report the math teacher who runs a class outside-the teacher must be wrong to run a class, but the reason for reporting is that her son failed to get the first place in the exam. Because she is the same teacher with a bad personality, when she is a teacher who can let her son enter the extracurricular gold medal class of a famous school, she is not worried that his personality will affect the children, begging, giving gifts and quarreling, as long as he can enter his class.
There is a detail in the play. Tian Yulan is very rude to his son. When I came home and saw him playing, I scolded him and said that the child was disobedient.
It is said that he can win the Olympic gold medal (the actual situation is very unstable). Suddenly, his face was as gorgeous as a flower. He hugged and kissed his son. He changed his mind, praised him for being sensible and excellent, and said affectionately and lovingly, Play for a while!
However, as soon as I heard that the child was going to play football, I immediately opposed it, fearing that he would lose his heart and let him watch TV that was more harmful to his body and mind.
This passage may not make the audience so comfortable, but it is realistic. Tian's husband said that she did well in the exam, but failed. We always like to say that only parents will love their children unconditionally. I admit that, in terms of probability, parents' love for their children must be the most willing and cost-free love in the world. There are some examples of parents dying for their children, but it is rare in other intimate relationships.
However, there are also some parents who love their children conditionally. China people often say that "raising children to prevent old age" is a condition, from which many requirements can be derived: he should go to a good school, find a good job and choose a good spouse, all of which can contribute to preventing old age.
Children are too young to achieve grand goals. First, they have to undertake the task of "earning face". Compared with the children of relatives, friends, colleagues and neighbors, they study better and have higher talents, which is the easiest way to achieve face glory.
The role of Tian Yulan embodies all the factors that must win face. Her mother, a nurse, became his wife after nursing Zhang Guoli, the vice president of the Architectural Design Institute, and his original wife, who had never touched water, could only leave with her daughter Nan Li.
Tian Yulan's living expenses, college tuition and wedding dowry are all provided by her stepfather, which makes her self-esteem unacceptable, but she can't stubbornly refuse. Her husband's family is not satisfied with her birth, and her mother is passive in front of Nan Li and the old man Nuo Nuo. Tian Yulan is very strong, but she doesn't have the ability to become a master. Her work also carries some metaphors: store supervisor, sunset industry. My husband's family has money, but no ambition, so it can't be her trophy.
Nan Li analyzed that Tian Yulan has a sense of "lack". In fact, life in Li Nan is not easy. Her father got married two months before her college entrance examination, and she had to support her mother who had lost 20 pounds. When she got married, she stubbornly refused the dowry given by her father.
It's just that these sufferings gave her a moral advantage in front of Tian Yulan. In addition, Nan Li's work, spouse, father and stepmother are cautious about her, which is enough to make Tian Yulan feel inferior and unbalanced.
The only thing that Tian Yulan can beat Nan Li is the children's academic performance. At first, she was indifferent, but under Tian's persistent attack, she could not keep elegant, and it was hard for people not to be influenced by the people around her.
"Tiger mother" is a very common mother in East Asian society, and tiger father is rare, because men are naturally afraid of trouble and love to hide. A friend of mine, Ji Yi, interviewed Lang Lang and his tiger dad many years ago. Shortly after Lang Lang became independent, he set up an office for his father to keep him away from his sight and indulge in fame and fortune.
Usually, a talented child will not be so distant from the tiger mother. When children grow up, they understand that mothers are not only strict, but also hard. I sent a message that Weibo said that learning musical instruments as a child was a complete waste of time, but my parents could understand the message. "How do you know if you like it or not until you try?" I still thank my parents for forcing me to learn musical instruments.
Tian Yulan-style parents are passed down from generation to generation. No one wants such parents to be their own children. When they become parents, their mentality changes, and people who love any position love people in any position.
When mothers become tiger mothers, they embarrass their children and themselves. One detail is that Tian Yulan and the math teacher had a big fight and went home to find her husband playing a game, and the chicken soup on the fire jumped. After being angry, she rolled up her sleeves and began to cook. Besides, she made detailed comments on each child's papers, and even Nan Li, who didn't like her, had to admire her efforts.
In last night's story, Tian Yulan publicly apologized to the math teacher in order to get his son into the gold medal class, which is why everyone will understand and sympathize with Tiger Mother.
But she talks a lot, but it's not easy to praise herself in another way, but she never noticed that her son was relieved when he heard that he couldn't attend the gold medal class.
How to evaluate this love? It is both selfless and selfish. Mothers don't have to be so tired, and they don't have to worry about their children's life in the next 30 years. As Tian Yulan's husband said, our son doesn't have to worry about having a car, a house and an industry. But out of a sense of crisis and responsibility, she doesn't want her children to experience the lack of money and time.
Selfishly speaking, everything is based on self-satisfaction and self-touch, and has nothing to do with children's needs. Of course, some people will say that children will regret it if they understand it, but do parents really understand it? Parents' wish is nothing more than to let their children engage in so-called occupations with high social status such as scientists, teachers and doctors. In fact, they know less about these industries than their children.
And if no one appreciates this toss, the excitement will be reduced by 50%. You must get praise, envy and jealousy from people around you, otherwise it will be like a night tour, so you must join a group or open a short video number.
Once someone looks on, the action will be deformed and will unconsciously oppress the children and others. At this time, children's sense of pleasure will give way to parents' sense of pleasure. Isn't this selfish? Don't say you have no regrets about your children. For his future, if the child rationally says that he should sleep for eight hours every day to ensure his development and bask in the sun for two hours to prevent myopia, most parents can't agree. In an education forum I often watch, it is said that a school keeps its grades by repeatedly brushing questions and staying up at night 12. Almost all comments are: parents are very supportive, teachers are very responsible and have strong processing ability, so that a school can attract good children.
The word "good boy" is dazzling, which is obviously a utilitarian judgment. Those with high scores are good children, and those with low scores? Bad boy? Every time Tian Yulan praises Ziyou as a good boy, he is also judging other people's children.
What's more, the so-called good grades are just the knowledge of grade five students in grade one and grade two, which truly reflects the present situation that parents are eager to escape. They have their own slang, and "strong handling ability" means that "Puwa" can be changed to "Niu Wa". However, for children with IQ 140 like Mi Tao in the play, parents can't get rid of breastfeeding even if they try their best, for fear that some parents will be angry that their children can't keep up with themselves. In the previous forum, graduates of a school were assigned a lot of homework. Once they entered high school, their grades began to decline, because everyone in high school began to stay up late, pitying those dolls who had survived for nine years.
In Xiao Shede, Song Jia and David are idealized parents who encourage education. The countdown to her daughter's exam was poked by Tian Yulan. She firmly told her daughter that you are the best, and the results once or twice don't mean anything.
The play also shows a father who is not absent. David can not only comb her hair, but also help her daughter with her lessons.
There is a scene in which they can't stand the pressure of the surrounding environment and go to a remedial class. As soon as they heard that the child would stay for two or three hours, they could only rest for a few minutes and immediately turned around and went home.
Their daughter was laughed at by her classmates in the countdown exam, and David said something that looked like chicken soup. For example, laugh if you want grades.
The daughter lost her temper with him and accused him of making up lessons for herself. Instead, David said happily, this shows that my daughter is self-motivated and cares about her grades. I should be happy. This is the parents who put their children's feelings first.
Interestingly, while the audience found Tian Yulan suffocating, they also felt that Mr. and Mrs. Li Nan were a little hung up, as if the middle class in big cities really could only have one kind of parents. Not long ago, I attended a dinner party of Beijingers. Like Tian Yulan, my husband can't help himself and let the children speak English words in public. As a result, no one cared, while another girl, who was also two years old, handed water to adults from time to time, and everyone praised her. He came back to reflect and said: Have we neglected the emotional intelligence education of children too much?
Look, as long as there is no display environment, parents are lonely.
In the two episodes updated last night, Tian Yulan made two cross-border moves. One is to coerce the daughter of the hourly worker to quit the extracurricular tutoring class and make room for her son.
The other is that when I heard about my children's experience as class cadres in junior high school and high school, I went to woo my parents and manipulate the student elections myself. The barrage thinks she has gone too far, but at the same time, she has to admit that she is realistic. Every time Rulu is too tired to cry, she feels really tired.
Tian Yulan can be understood by many people because the cost of raising a child is huge, and she doesn't want to listen to some noise. Her behavior is very consistent with China's concept of providing for the aged: giving is rewarding. The generation that grew up in this way unconsciously identified with their parents, although they shed a lot of tears for it.
This craze will not recede in the short term, unless we are as satisfied with our present life as the Nordic people, and blue-collar workers and white-collar workers receive equal pay for equal work and have the same social status. Or the rising channels of young people are varied, or the channels are narrowed to lie flat, so that mothers like Tian Yulan can completely put down their obsession and concentrate on their lives.
However, TV plays also have their practical functions. The screenwriter pointed out that many parents rely on training classes as a herd mentality. Parents who like to keep up with the joneses can also look in the mirror through Tian Yulan, and maybe they can be less harsh on their children.
I wish there were more selfish parents. It's never too late to struggle. Dreams can't be realized only by children. It is sweeter to fulfill your dreams, and children will respect you more. The first step is that the screen name is not mom, but has its own name.