In fact, in the process of raising children, the role of husband is more important than that of in-laws. Why do you say that? Take myself as an example:
I am a treasure mother. Fortunately, I don't have to work full-time, and my parents-in-law help me with my baby. Unfortunately, my husband's contribution to the family often disappoints me, and I want to divorce several times.
I always take care of my children alone at night, and sometimes I take two children to sleep alone. Why is my husband going? Playing games and watching TV in the study until midnight, and then sleeping alone at work. He said that sleeping in a bed with children is for fear that children will affect their sleep.
Children will wake up several times at night until they are weaned and sleep better. Due to a serious lack of sleep, I have to go to work during the day, and my body is overwhelmed and exhausted. I also feel overwhelmed when I accompany my children. I always want to sit down and have a rest. In short, the first few years of taking care of children are spent day by day.
In other people's eyes, my in-laws are in good health, so it's easy for me to help with the baby. In my husband's opinion, it is easy to have his parents to help him take care of the children. Mother is well aware of the hard work of taking care of the baby.
The child is ill. Can the parents-in-law help? No, not just husband and wife. They don't understand, and they are afraid of screwing up. When a child is sick, it is the hardest time, and he can only rely on himself.
Children have different ways of education at different ages. Can parents-in-law help? No, what picture books to read, what toys to play and what kindergarten classes to attend are all your own choices. You can rely on yourself.
To put it bluntly, 90% of the children's eating and drinking Lazar have to be worried by the husband and wife, especially the mother. What can in-laws do? Keep the children safe and have two more companions. As for cooking for children, I think the old people didn't quite agree with that way of feeding before.
If Ma Bao thinks that your in-laws can determine your quality of life, I think you value their role in raising children. As far as I know, some young people are only busy with their own careers and don't raise children. It is extremely irresponsible to throw children directly to the elderly.
Raising children is a long process, we may need the help of the elderly, but the trajectory of children's growth is mainly decided by us, and the future of children is decided by our parents!
I am a baby-sitter of two children. Dabao is almost 6 years old, and Bauer just 10 months old. I have been working before, and I was still working before I gave birth to Dabao. My mother-in-law saw the full moon and returned to her hometown in Zhengzhou. After the maternity leave expired, I went to work, and my mother-in-law came to Zhengzhou to help with the children. At that time, the work place was close to home, and the journey was 10 minutes. During the morning and noon, I can go home to help work (after all, my mother-in-law is over 60 years old there). When Dabao was 65,438+00 months old, my sister-in-law gave birth to a child (the first child). My mother-in-law needs to go to Hangzhou, and my father-in-law is farming in his hometown. Because the third child was unmarried, her mother-in-law took her to her hometown to take care of her before weaning (because my mother also had to take care of my brother's children). During this period, Dabao was uncomfortable in her hometown, and it was common to get sick and catch a cold. As a mother, she was so worried about her daughter that she didn't tell me. It was a single day off work, and it took about 3 hours to drive back to my hometown. I still clearly remember the first time Dabao reluctantly needed to see me, and I cried. After two weeks of separation, I went back to my hometown to see my children, who no longer knew me and were still there. I miss my children all the time. There are children in every corner of the room. I don't go home after work, but I'm waiting for my husband to work overtime, otherwise I miss my children too much. Dabao/kloc-came back to me at the age of 0 and a half, and my mother-in-law replaced Dabao. Sometimes something happened in my hometown ... (because of the care of my brother and children's grandparents), because all my living habits would change when my mother-in-law got along. Now I take Bauer by myself (my father-in-law goes to Hangzhou to take care of the children, and my mother-in-law takes care of the children of the third family at home). Go back to discuss it during the Chinese New Year. I want to go to work. I want to leave my children at home or let his brother's children come to Zhengzhou. My mother-in-law said she couldn't take two children, because her brother's child was just 65,438+0 years old and he still ate breast milk instead of milk powder. They are all eldest sons, afraid they will mention it. Afraid that no one will take care of the children, my mother-in-law said yes, while I am young, so I want to tell you that I must be able to withstand the pressure before making a decision. I have been spending my previous savings when I am not at work, and now I have no money. It is difficult to ask my husband for money. My husband never offered to give you money, nor would he take care of two children. Both children let me sleep. Play games or mobile phones when you get home. I put up with this day.
Isn't it natural to take care of your own children after giving birth? How did it become the responsibility of parents-in-law?
My brother and I were brought up by our parents. It's really difficult, but as a parent, how can it be difficult?
In addition, not all grandparents like to take care of their children. Some grandparents don't want to take care of their children by themselves. If they come to help, this is a kind of mutual affection, and children should keep it in mind. Even if you don't help, it is reasonable. Children should not hold grudges against their parents.
After having children, you should plan your life when you are pregnant, and don't force your in-laws and children.
what do you think?
I am a full-time nanny, and my son is almost two years old. Because my husband and three brothers, my in-laws can't take care of them at all. My husband and I also bought a house in Xi 'an. At that time, I still had a caesarean section. I took care of my son when he was two months old. My husband can still help me when he comes back at night. Now that we have bought a car, our life is not rich, but we can get by. The most important thing is that we are lonely.
I think there are too many goddesses on this issue! First of all, I have to admit that my in-laws have no obligation to help us with our children. They are old and should have their own lives. However, which young people are under less pressure now? What are you doing for free now? Sacrificing a labor force to guide the baby at home for three or four years, what else can you do, not delay picking up the baby and not participating in various activities in the kindergarten? Home is not a place to talk about obligations, but a place to talk about feelings. Children with a little conscience will be grateful to help their children share some with them. (But it doesn't rule out those heartless young people. ) It used to be brought by several children, but now people are so delicate. Can it be the same as it is now? In the past, the big baby led the little baby, but now which baby doesn't have a lot of homework, Chinese and math are supplemented here, and English is supplemented there. Where did you learn piano and dance? Pick it up here and send it there?
It's good that my husband loves you and wants something from you! In-laws don't have any rules to ask your son's son! Live your life, don't ask, don't ask! Don't ask the baby, you will grow up happily! What you owe will be paid back sooner or later!
Young people nowadays are really strange. It's too contradictory that a mother-in-law who gave birth to a child can't live with her mother-in-law. Mother-in-law doesn't say that her mother-in-law doesn't care about anything, but asks about her life, and her in-laws don't care about her children.
A private nanny with her own children. Personally, I think the children are brought by myself, and my parents-in-law have no obligation to help. Those who say that my mother-in-law doesn't take care of her old wife, I want to ask if the real mother-in-law can help her get the care of her old wife. Not necessarily! Take care of your children. If there is something really wrong with the family, it is really wrong for the elderly not to help themselves. After all, it is important for families to help each other. If the elderly are willing to take it, they will complain less, communicate more and understand more. Don't spray if you don't like your personal opinion.
Now the pace of life is fast and the pressure of life is great. If the elderly help to take care of the children, the couple can concentrate more on their work, constantly improve their living standards and provide better material conditions for themselves and their families.
However, in reality, many old people don't help with children, some can't, and some don't want to. In any case, the reality that Bao's father faces is that if he can't invite the right person, one person must sacrifice his career to take care of the baby full-time. In fact, it is more the mother who makes sacrifices.
I have a friend who faces this problem. Her mother is in poor health and can't help her take care of the children, but her mother-in-law doesn't want to take them and she is not at ease looking for a nanny. Husband's salary and nature of work are not convenient to take care of children at home, so he can only leave his job to take care of the baby. Although she doesn't want to be wronged, she must accept it. While taking care of the baby, she used her spare time to do WeChat business, taught herself and lived with relish.
Face the unchangeable reality in life, accept it frankly, meet the challenge of life in the best state, and you will definitely beat her.
Many people say that my in-laws don't owe you, and it's right to take it for mutual affection and not to take it. I want to say, how many families can balance the pressure of mortgage, living cost, children's medical care, education cost and so on at the expense of a labor force? If life is not stressful, I think most mothers still want to take their children and grow up with them. After all, children, those years are very important. However, there is too much helplessness in life. I can't afford a babysitter, and I have to go out to make money. In the most difficult time, I can only hope that the old people will help me. At this time, if the in-laws still refuse to take care of them because they don't want to take them, they will try their best to take care of their son at least. How much affection can this indifferent and selfish approach make the younger generation feel? Caring, selfless, can be passed on, but also can influence each other, so that they will be closer to each other.