I have a treasure mother beside me, and I am very entangled in whether to have a second child. Her entanglement is different from others'.
There was a time when she wanted to have a baby, so she had a pre-pregnancy check-up and bought folic acid. Suddenly, she was moved and decided not to have children. After stopping for a while, she saw that the conditions at home were not as good as her own, and she had three children. She was going to move again.
Do you call her ridiculous? Actually, it's not. After all, whether to have a second child has become a philosophical question like "to be or not to be born". An careless move will affect a lifetime. Compared with blind students, the extra examination fee and folic acid fee are nothing at all.
I feel from the bottom of my heart that this precious mother is not suitable for having a second child. I told her my opinion because of my good relationship. She pointed out unconvinced that people like her belong to "people who don't have much money", but they still gave birth to a second child, and life seems to be good at present. I shook my head. Even if the external conditions are the same, the gap between Ma Bao and Ma Bao is much larger. I have to take a good look at whether I am suitable for life.
How to inspect? We must first understand the following questions about ourselves:
What is your own personality: delicate or extensive?
Ma Bao's own personality determines the style of taking care of the baby, and also directly determines the degree of fatigue after giving birth to the second child.
If you are a delicate mother, don't believe that "the second child takes care of the pig". You will be more worried then, because you don't want your second child to take another detour. The boss missed the crawling period, and you will be extra cautious when the second child is 8 months old. The boss didn't attend the early education class, so you may have to apply for a second child earlier. As for the English enlightenment, mathematical thinking enlightenment and literacy that the boss missed, you must also want to arrange it early. This way, the second child will only be more tired than the first child.
However, if you are a treasure mother with extensive personality, you will not be so tired after giving birth to a second child.
How to judge whether you are delicate or extensive? For a simple example, every time you take your child out to play, do you just take the bag and leave, or think about it, bring fruit yogurt, children's cups, spare coats and toys to pass the riding time?
What do you want from yourself: to raise a good child or to be more eager for self-realization?
I advised that precious mother not to have children because I know her too well. She is not a person who wants to take care of the baby at home. It will drive her crazy if she is allowed to be a full-time housewife at home for several years.
Therefore, the same family conditions are generally to bring up children by themselves. If you like children, and you think that bringing them up is a complete life, then you can naturally have a second child. However, if you have more pursuits than children and are more eager to do something for yourself, you are likely to feel pain for getting caught up in the trivial things of taking care of your baby.
What are your expectations for children: just being an ordinary person and striving for self-improvement, or striving for perfection?
Now many parents have a strong sense of anxiety. This anxiety mainly comes from the requirements for children. If you have high demands on your children and expect them to do their best, then you need to pay more attention to their education at home. However, if you think it is good for children to be ordinary people, then your mother's burden on education will be greatly reduced. After all, taking the "Buddhist" parenting route does not consume parents' hard work.