The whole family gathered around the bed in the intensive care unit, watching grandpa's breathing gradually weaken and the number on the blood glucose meter kept dropping. I'm also observing my son's reaction. At first, I thought he would be sad or scared, but as a result, he didn't seem to respond, so he stood with the adults and drove him home to continue sleeping. At that time, I thought this guy was heartless and had no response at all. But when I think back to my childhood, it seems that things are not much better than him.
My earliest memory of death is when my grandmother's great-grandmother died in the lower grades of primary school. In retrospect, I really don't feel sad at all, just like my son now. The most impressive scene was that my uncle and I were in grandma's room. I jumped up and down on the bed and didn't know what I was playing. My uncle sat by the bed in a daze.
Suddenly, he turned to me and shouted, "Are you happy that Joe is dead?" I quickly touched my nose and escaped from the door. Anyway, from beginning to end, it seems that there are really no sad memories.
In the senior grade of primary school, someone gave us a puppy. Of course, my two sisters and I are very happy. However, it is inconvenient to keep a dog in an apartment. After a few days, my parents decided to give it away. Hearing the news that the puppy was given away, my sister and I cried our eyes out. At that time, grandpa sat by and watched us cry. Finally, he shook his head in distress and suddenly said, "I will feel very comforted if you cry like this when I am dead." 」
I am the eldest grandson of my family, so I am very close to my grandfather. Grandpa has always had an old problem of asthma. When I left the army to study abroad, the situation was already very bad, but I dare not imagine the worst. After studying in new york for more than half a year, I called back to Taiwan Province Province one night, and my sister's crying came from the microphone. Now I know something is wrong. Two people were crying at both ends of the overseas call, and I don't know how long it took to hang up.
Because a person is in a foreign land, he is even more at a loss when he hears the news. I still remember very clearly that I was in a very unreal and strange mental state in those days. After crying for a while, I still have to climb back to the computer to do my homework. Fall asleep when you are exhausted, and continue to write programs when you wake up.
Probably because people were not at home and didn't see it with their own eyes, they forgot about it after waking up. After working for a while, I suddenly remembered that my grandfather had left, but with a grain of salt, I called home again, and then I was very sad and cried. When you are tired of crying, just calm down and go to work. When I am tired, I go to bed. After waking up, my head went blank again. After a while, I remembered to cry again. In this way, I spent more than a week.
Later, I asked for leave from school and flew back for the funeral. When I got off the plane and stepped into the house, my parents took me with tears to burn incense for grandpa's coffin. When I saw grandpa's picture hanging on the wall, I was really sure that grandpa had left.
So grandpa in the sky should be very satisfied with our performance.
These days, my son's science class is teaching sericulture, so the teacher also gives silkworm babies to the children to take home. The first batch brought home was normal at first, and after two weeks, it has obviously grown up. One day, I found several mulberry trees in a nearby park. I am glad that the source of mulberry leaves can be scarce. Who knows that the mulberry trees over there may have been sprayed with pesticides, and the silkworm babies began to shake their heads after eating them, and then kept spitting juice, and the whole batch was extinct.
My son, who is usually thick and heartless, is actually very sad. Lying in bed before going to bed, he would hide in the quilt and secretly cry.
I had a serious discussion with him. Grandpa loved him so much that he didn't seem to shed half a tear when he died. Silkworm babies have only been raised for two weeks, but they cry so sadly. Why? He couldn't tell himself, but he was very sad and wanted to cry.
However, it is also a good thing to know how to shed tears when you see a little life passing away like this, not a cold-blooded animal.
I have seen education experts tell children about "life and death education", and some people have drawn children's picture books to let children know the meaning of life and death.
Looking back at these personal examples, I don't think it is necessary to force children to teach these things. Anyway, I was stupid when I was a child, and I will understand when I grow up. He is naturally sad when he is sad, but he is a little reluctant to teach deliberately.
People are emotional animals, but some feelings may develop later, and they are eager to teach their children the concept of life and death, just like teaching children to learn English and play computer early. I don't think it's necessary.
I believe my father-in-law will still have a smile on his face when he sees this guy eating, sleeping and playing in the sky, because this is my stupid grandson!
(* The writer is the deputy general manager of Microsoft Global Technical Service Center in Taiwan Province Province/The original article was published in the magazineNo. 1 14).