So I listed five educational problems I encountered:
1, it's rude to grab food with your hands? !
Did you find that the baby likes to put things in his mouth from four months? Especially after contact with complementary food, their curiosity about food surpassed their previous skills, such as biting, tossing, scratching and pinching.
That's right! Children must practice many times before they want to learn to hold a spoon, but how can they hold a spoon well if their fingers are not flexible? Therefore, many parents now know that in the middle of contact with complementary food, they will join hands to grasp food, so that children can practice grasping and accurately put things into their mouths. But the elders are always worried that their children will eat ugly and dirty all over the floor!
In fact, I have encountered this kind of conflict before, so it seems that I have been stepping on my mother-in-law's bottom line. Therefore, my mother must understand that the daily task is to seize the time to let the children keep practicing. This is also when my mother-in-law is away. Think about what my mother-in-law cares about most is that the children are dirty? Or is the ground dirty?
The above two points are easy to determine! As a mother, you must never forget that "practice will fail", that is, the environment will become dirty, and you must be the undertaker of this failure, that is, the cleaning ring. All right! It doesn't matter if you say that your mother-in-law is always at home. In addition to a bowl of rice when eating together, try to put a small plate of hand-grabbed food in front of the children!
At this time, while feeding the child, the child also holds the food in his own small plate. Fortunately, my mother-in-law didn't think it was too dirty. It was PASS! This is slowly infringing on the bottom line of the elders. (And after dinner, she immediately wiped the floor. My mother-in-law still thinks this daughter-in-law is too hardworking. Isn't that just to help yourself get extra points? ) then if one day the children are left to the care of their elders and they are asked to chase them, that is their business. Relax! Anyway, I haven't practiced for a day, and I won't regress.
2. Should the tableware for adults and children be separated?
I wonder if your family has the habit of separating tableware. Everyone has fixed chopsticks or bowls, which is the case in my family, but in my husband's family, bowls and chopsticks are the same color, and I can't tell who is who! So I learned that their ideas are likely to be brought to children in this way.
Peas have their own independent bowls, spoons, scissors and plates since they came into contact with complementary food. Even the cabbage cloth and detergent are independent. But suddenly, his mother-in-law held her chopsticks to make the child open his mouth. "Ah, this is the best. Here you are." In fact, I was angry when I first saw this picture, but because my mother-in-law is an elder, I can't help it.
So, I said, "Mom, this is the only way for children to make a living in the future." Then I turned to my child and said, "Just eat your own Fan Fan and take away the things in the bowl." In fact, at this time, the elders will be very smart to put the dishes on the plates or bowls. At this time, all you have to do is cut off the clamped parts of chopsticks with small scissors, so as to avoid conflicts.
3. Go and collect toys!
Every time it's bedtime, Doudou begins to become a child who plays the fool. If he doesn't accept toys, he just doesn't accept them and sneaks over to kick them. At this time, the mother-in-law will start reading "Children should teach her to collect toys", and then shout "Come and collect toys, and put them in the box quickly". Then the adults can't sit still and order the children to collect them. As soon as Doudou Dad listens, he begins to help.
At this time, I really want to say that today's children are so good at reading minds that they must not be treated as children. When your tone is command or request, they actually understand in their hearts. Well, it's my wife's turn again. As soon as I came out of the living room, I bluntly said that it was useless for you to use orders. You made her accept herself without even touching her toys. Do you think she will listen? In fact, it seems that it's weird for Doudou's father, but even her mother-in-law says so (I said I was really arrogant).
Doudou always thinks of "children learn in games" as the teacher said in the early education course. When collecting toys, it is best to have another "last game time" and use the competitive tone "Hurry up! See who collects the toys fastest "or" Help them find a home quickly "... Parents and children collect toys in less than five minutes, which is more efficient than shouting for ages over there.
Moreover, parent-child cooperation not only increases emotion and trust, but also enables children to go to bed with conviction and satisfaction (because they must know OS: Go to bed, and my mother let me play with toys for the last time).
4, cry and fight again!
It is really distressing for children to cry, but there must be a reason for children to cry, especially children who can't talk yet, that is, babies can't talk when they are in pain.
The teaching of the elders is to directly stop "all right, don't cry" and "fight again", all in order to persuade children to release their feelings against their wishes, but they don't know that the louder they cry, the greater their anger. Every time I see this, I laugh beside it. But I won't get involved in the first place. After all, my mother is too tired to get involved in everything. I won't make a sound unless I'm physically injured or crying to the point where I have to go into battle.
My approach is to understand the reasons first and rule out physiological needs (diaper, hunger, pain in hands and feet, etc.). ). Physical problems are easy to solve, there is demand and supply, and the comfort is light. The second is to eliminate psychological problems. What do you want? Want to beg? In short, all problems belong to the second level, which is a little more troublesome, because completely accepting all crying will develop the inertia of crying and eating sugar, which needs to talk about the fifth conflict between punishment and preaching.
5, punishment and preaching
I believe many elders have taught that "naughty is good, obedient is rewarded". We all grow up like this, but it doesn't make children really become themselves. They will hide their hearts. For example, I really want to drink yogurt today, so I have to behave well, but I don't want to obey from beginning to end.
Mother-in-law has always been a straight-tempered person, so her crying attitude towards peas is directly manifested. Especially now that Doudou is two years old, her elders think she should understand, so she will be more severe. Occasionally, she does hear "Cry again, and I will hit someone" (although it has always been a slogan to scare her), but modern children are really smarter than before and think this is a dignified sentence, so she will learn to walk at once. Sometimes peas will clap their thighs when they hear the word "hit"; But as parents, do we really want to see our children grow up with "beatings" (physical or verbal violence)?
Therefore, I choose to preach, even if no one is here, I will say it. I think she will understand, even my mother-in-law or husband will read it.
There is a wonderful and fun way to solve the child's crying, that is, directly take a mirror and say to her, "Wow ~ Who is this?" Why is your face full of tears and snot! "Then the child begins to be curious about himself in the mirror, touching his nose and digging his mouth, but don't think the child is bored and disgusting. When facing the mirror, quickly dissolve the crying atmosphere, and then start preaching after the child's crying stops. Be sure to end with "Crying can't solve what just happened". "
Personal parenting experience is probably shared above! Being a good mother also requires being a good daughter-in-law. Although difficult, we are powerful and can change the saints of children, husbands and mothers-in-law, hahaha! So even if it is difficult to raise children and the problem of mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is difficult, don't lose heart ~ ok!