Every child has his own growth rhythm. Give him freedom and love, and he can explore inward and outward.
However, as parents, we always unconsciously interfere with our children, and seeing their slow fever and anxiety, or comparison, makes them more anxious.
My son didn't have teeth when he was one year old, but other children around him began to have teeth when they were six or seven months old, so they would be very nervous when they wanted to have teeth.
My mother also asked a folk prescription at that time, cutting gums with rice grains.
But it's no use worrying. We can only let the child's teeth grow out slowly. Later, it took more than thirteen months for the baby to grow his first tooth, so we finally didn't have to worry.
There is nothing we can do about teething, and we can clearly perceive that children have their own growth rhythm, but for other behavioral things, we may want to "help" children.
When children are two or three years old, they are introverted and we want to send them to early education institutions. Looking back now, how much effect does sending children to early education institutions have on their current development? Is the child really lively and cheerful because he went to an early education institution?
Is it really good to treat different children in the same training way? Will it stifle the uniqueness of children?
From the beginning of embryo, every child is destined to be different, with its own development speed and infinite possibilities. If you always use a popular standard to test your child, you will inevitably be anxious.
In a word: "I eat more salt than you eat." But if you eat salt, you can feel it, but if others don't eat it, they can't feel it.
The experience of others is refined into knowledge, and we just see that knowledge is actually difficult to empathize with.
As soon as the child touched the knife, the parents immediately stopped and cut it carefully. Talking too much, children know that knives are dangerous and don't think about how to use them.
In fact, besides being dangerous, knives can also cut things.
Two children are entangled in a rope at the same time, and the child who uses a knife will cut the rope with a knife; The other one doesn't know what to do.
You can't forget to let your child experience the really useful part just because you see the danger of the item.
A child is doing manual work, and there is not enough glue. It suddenly occurred to him that rice can be used to make glue. In fact, it is not how smart the child is, but that he is feeling the stickiness of rice. If you just teach a knowledge and let the children remember it, the children will remember it in specific scenes.
How much knowledge we have learned is gradually forgotten. And the knowledge gained from experience will be really used.
Let the child experience more, instead of framing the child with your knowledge and experience, and let the child experience only within the framework you think is correct, then what he has experienced will be untrue and will reduce many possibilities.
Betty told a story in the book:
In the dry season, young trees roll their leaves, and gardener A throws away the appearance to see the essence and waters them in time; Gardener b turned a blind eye, and the young tree stayed until it rained; Gardener c is very controlling and takes pains to break the leaves one by one. As a result, the young trees lost too much water and died of drought.
We can't understand the reasons behind every child's behavior, but we can't think that a child is wrong and naughty just because his behavior is not what we think.
The book says: in the face of children, parents only need to maintain a sense of awe. If they don't know love, at least don't cut off their children's road to self-help.
It's really hard to stay in awe.
When I think about how many books I have read, I will feel that my education method is very advanced and I will think about what my children should be like.
The ideas in the book are constantly updated, and the way that looks good today may not be suitable after a while; Even if the book is good, it may not be suitable for children in their own homes.
Don't expect to change your children. Your idea may not be right, even if it is right, it may not be suitable for the development of children.
In fact, when you think about changing children, you will feel that children are not good enough. What you think is not good enough may be your opinion. Maybe a child's bad behavior is just a way to be himself.
Parenting is really an art, and parents can never really graduate.