What should children do if they are afraid? When children encounter something they are afraid of, they will have a certain psychological shadow, and there may be a big fight or inexplicable fear. Next, I will tell you what to do when a child is afraid. I hope I can help you. Welcome to read and share!
What if the child is afraid of fear 1 scene 1:
Two-year-old Guoguo has just finished her early education class. At this time, the early education center began to organize rhythmic exercises between classes.
The staff came out wearing doll clothes, and many children came to touch or hug the doll, but the fruit was hiding straight behind, with a scared expression on their faces.
Grandma watched anxiously, fearing that her grandson would lose contact with the doll, she threw the fruit directly in front of the doll and said, "There's nothing to be afraid of. It's your teacher inside."
Finally, Guoguo was so scared that she burst into tears, and later she didn't even want to go to the early education class.
Scene 2:
In the evening, my mother is cooking and my father is sitting on the sofa watching TV. In the morning, I sat alone on the mat playing with toys, and it was raining outside the window.
Suddenly the rain became heavier, a flash of lightning pierced the night sky, followed by a thunder. Chenchen cried with a loud "wow" and ran to his father.
At this time, my father said, "You are a little man. Why are you so timid? Just when it thundered, you stopped crying. "
I witnessed these two scenes with my own eyes, which represent the way many parents treat their children when they are afraid.
Either deny the child's fear and force the child to adapt; Either think that the child is not brave enough and label the child as "timid".
But in fact, such an approach can not only relieve children's nervousness, but also undermine their sense of security and make them more timid and afraid.
Whenever I encounter confusion in parenting and don't know how to solve it, I will first think about the reasons why children have such emotions or behaviors, so that I can prescribe the right medicine.
Children's fears and fears are often caused by these three aspects:
Development of cognitive ability
As children grow up, their imagination becomes richer and richer. They will imagine all kinds of beautiful or terrible things in their minds, such as the lights going out, monsters hiding in the room, bugs sucking my blood and so on.
Although these imaginations are absurd to adults, children will believe them.
Weak ability to explain the situation.
Fear comes from the unknown, and children are not rich in life experience. They will be at a loss when they meet something they have never seen before, because they don't know what will happen.
For example, children encounter dark clouds and storms, and I don't know if this weather is safe. This kind of unknown will make them feel scared.
Past negative experience
Some fears come from negative experiences in the past. Children expand this fear, and similar situations will arouse their fear.
Just like "once bitten, twice shy", some children may have been scared by barking dogs, so they will be afraid to see all the cats and dogs.
In fact, fear is a normal emotion. Everyone has experienced fear. To some extent, "fear" can protect us from danger, but people who are fearless are easy to get hurt.
Therefore, fear is not all bad, and a child who is afraid of something can't be called timid.
So, what should we do when children are afraid?
Help children ease and express their emotions.
Take a deep breath and relax.
Deep breathing can help children relieve tension and fear. We can tell them how to take a deep breath with us and tell them to do so:
1. Inhale slowly through your nose and let the air fill your chest like a balloon.
2. Breathe out slowly through your mouth.
3. Repeat the above actions slowly for 5 times.
Accept and listen to children's fears.
When a child tells us his worries and fears about something, don't rush to deny it, so that the child feels that his fears are not worth mentioning.
Instead, we should listen carefully with respect, which can help children express their emotional feelings and describe the physiological feelings that may be brought about when they produce such emotions.
For example, when mom sees your body shrink together and keeps retreating, are you afraid that the puppy will bite you?
The advantage of this is to help children feel their emotions and make them feel understood, instead of thinking that fear is a shame.
Use games and paintings to express.
Some children are not good at expressing their emotions in words, but if this fear and fear accumulate in their hearts for a long time, it will definitely have a bad influence on children.
At this time, children can easily express their fears through games and paintings.
For example, through role-playing, let the child dress up as he is afraid, and mom and dad will play the child;
Or give children some painting tools and let them draw what they are afraid of.
Help children understand the experiences and scenes of fear.
Look at it from another angle.
This is a kind of "cognitive-behavioral" therapy based on psychology, which changes people's behavior by changing their thoughts and concepts.
For example, some children are afraid of the whistle of fire engines and ambulances, because the sound is sharp and loud, which brings people a sense of tension.
At this time, we can tell the children, "It is true that this kind of sound will make people uncomfortable, but the sound of horns can let other drivers on the road know that the fire truck is working, and they should pay attention to getting out of the way, so that firefighters can put out the fire in time and ensure everyone's safety."
Let children know that what they are afraid of is actually valuable and useful, which helps to dispel their fears.
Make up an interesting story
Parents can also make up some funny stories to tell their children's fearful experiences and scenes.
There was a time when Ugly was particularly afraid of thunder and firecrackers, so I bought him a picture book entitled "Never Afraid of Big and Loud Things".
Fusi, the lamb inside, is also afraid of thunder. Father Sheep weaves the thunder process into a story of "going to Yunchengbao for a concert", and the sound and image of the storm instantly become cordial in the children's hearts.
Adapt slowly
Parents need to give their children time to change and adapt slowly. It takes courage to overcome fear and fear.
In addition, children can take one small step at a time and slowly accept what they were afraid of.
For example, for children who are afraid of dolls, we don't recommend stuffing them directly into their arms. Instead, we can ask them to say hello to the doll first, then take a step forward slowly-shake hands, and then try to hug.
These methods shared with you today are mainly applicable to things that are not dangerous to children, but children are still afraid and fearful.
If the child has experienced some traumatic events and developed stress reactions such as fear, and needs more professional psychological counseling, parents can also seek help from local psychological counseling institutions.
What should children do when they are afraid and frightened? One of the fear events: the fear of animals.
"Go away, puppy, don't come near me, you will bite me and eat me ..."
Behind the fear:
Fear of animals varies from person to person. Some babies may be particularly afraid of one or several animals because they have been hurt by animal toys or real animals during their growth. And some' babies' are afraid of animals because they are threatened by their parents on weekdays, such as "the baby will be taken away by the cat next door if it doesn't eat well."
At this time, the baby is in the stage of rapid intellectual development, with active thinking and rich imagination. In their view, cute and friendly little animals may become man-eating monsters at any time, and they will feel threatened when facing animals.
Drive away fear:
First of all, parents should not threaten their babies in education, lest they daydream about the cruelty of animals. Secondly, you can buy some plush toys for your baby, such as puppies and kittens, so that your baby can touch the toys first and then touch the living animals.
When the baby is more courageous, you can try to feed the small animals with the baby, observe the playing and sleeping habits of the small animals, and let him try to touch them when the baby feels safe enough (don't force them, if the baby doesn't want to, don't force them). You can also buy some CDs about animals and enjoy them with your baby. Maybe it will stimulate the baby's love and interest in small animals from now on.
The second fear event: fear of darkness
"Don't leave me, I can't see anything, what's in the dark? Will there be fierce beasts, terrible monsters? "
Behind the fear:
From a psychological point of view, it is very normal for babies to be afraid of the dark. Because babies before the age of three generally have a unique psychological phenomenon-animism, that is, they will regard everything as alive and intentional. The negative performance of this psychological phenomenon is that the baby will have rich associations and fears about the darkness.
It is difficult for them to distinguish between reality and fiction, so they often confuse the plots or images of ghosts, beasts and robots that often appear in the dark in picture books, movies and stories with real life. In addition, some parents use some incorrect educational methods, such as threatening language such as "If the baby is disobedient, let the ghost catch him at night" to scare the baby, and even lock the baby in a dark room as a punishment, causing the baby's fear of the dark.
Drive away fear:
If the baby has a deep fear of darkness, parents will stay with the baby at night until he falls asleep and light a small light in the baby's room. When the baby is bolder, parents can help the baby overcome his fear. For example, at night, lead the baby to play a game of looking for things in a dark room, so that the baby can forget the fear brought by darkness in the game and gradually gain courage in the dark.
The third fear event: fear of loud noise
"Such a loud voice must be something terrible ..."
Behind the fear:
Babies are more afraid of hearing noise when they are young. If you hear thunder, firecrackers, sirens, etc. The baby will wake up and even cry. This is because 1-6-month-old babies are sensitive to sound, and loud noise will make them feel scared.
Drive away fear:
When the baby is crying because of noise stimulation, parents should immediately pick him up and give him (her) enough comfort to avoid constantly letting the baby accept the noise that scares them and continue to strengthen it. When the baby grows up, in order to eliminate the baby's fear of loud noises, we can explain all kinds of loud noises to the baby one by one, such as thunder and car alarm, and comfort and encourage the baby with gentle words, and let the baby touch these sounds from time to time to eliminate the fear caused by strangeness.
Fear Event 4: Separation Anxiety
"Mommy's gone, she doesn't want me? Will she never come back? "
Behind the fear:
When Mommy went out to work for the first time, Zhuangzhuang was having fun with her grandmother, so Mommy quietly went out. He didn't cry at all. When he thought of looking for mommy, he found that she suddenly disappeared. She cried for a long time, and finally she was tired of crying and fell asleep in her grandmother's arms. From then on, Zhuang Zhuang stared at Mommy every day. As soon as I was ready to go out, my strong little hands clung to Mommy's clothes like iron hooks and refused to let go.
Drive away fear:
Before the baby's separation anxiety begins to form, he should be trained to adapt to his mother's short separation and taught to say goodbye to her every time she leaves. Every time you go out, you should clearly tell your baby where mommy is going and tell him when to come back in a way that your baby can understand, such as the next meal.
Whether he understands it or not, he must persist in doing it. Play a separate game with your baby, give him a favorite toy when you say goodbye to him, give him some commitments that he is interested in, and so on. , can bring him some pleasant emotional experience, can effectively reduce or even eliminate the fear of separation from mommy.
The fifth fear event: fear of strangers
"A person who doesn't know me wants to hug me and kiss me. He must want to take me away from my mother, right? "
Behind the fear:
Dangdang is lively and naughty at home, which often makes the whole family laugh. This little guy, who is very active at home, wilts when he goes out. Grandma wanted to hug him, so he quickly hid his head in Mommy's arms and tugged at Mommy's clothes tightly for fear of being taken away. Uncle wanted to touch his little head, and he cried with a wow. When a guest comes home, he must catch his mother and satisfy his uncle to look stronger. He was so scared that he kept crying, and he wouldn't stop until he cried people away.
Drive away fear:
Fear of life is a stage that most babies will go through. Generally, at the age of 2, this phenomenon will be alleviated until it finally disappears. When treating a timid baby, we must respect his choice. If he doesn't want to be hugged by strangers, don't force him. Parents can hold their baby in their arms and chat with strangers at a certain distance, so that he can gradually adapt to those strange faces and accept strangers bit by bit.
Usually you can take your baby out to play, and greet your neighbors and friends every time you go out, so that he can have more opportunities to contact strangers and help him gradually eliminate his fear of strangers.
The sixth fear event: fear of injection
"That cold, sharp thing will bite me, and it hurts!"
Behind the fear:
For babies, injections are the most real pain. Almost all babies will burst into tears at the moment when the small needle sticks into the skin. From then on, as long as he saw needles, needles and even doctors and nurses in white coats, he would feel extremely scared. In fact, the root of this fear comes from physical pain on the one hand, and from the fear of cold needles and strange things on the other.
Drive away fear:
It is normal for a baby to be afraid of pain and injections, but parents can appropriately reduce this fear of the baby. For example, you can buy a doctor's toy for your baby. The toy contains a stethoscope, a thermometer, a needle and a needle tube, and then tells the baby that when his beloved doll is sick, he can take his baby's temperature, listen to his heartbeat and give him an injection. Let the baby accept and be familiar with these medical devices in the game, and reduce the fear of aggravating pain because of strangeness.