Yan Zhitui (AD 53 1- about 595) was born in Liang Dynasty Jianye (also known as Jinling, now Nanjing, Jiangsu). Yan Zhitui was born into a noble family, and his father, Xie Yan, joined the army through official negotiation. His family has a Confucian tradition and was influenced by Confucianism in his early years, which laid the academic ideological foundation of his life. Yan Zhitui lived for more than 60 years, and the "Three Kingdoms subjugators" spread all over the south of the Yangtze River, Hebei and Guanzhong, and he had rich experience in making friends with the Sui Dynasty, far from being comparable to the aristocratic children in the narrow corner of the Northern and Southern Dynasties. These also prepared favorable conditions for him to write "Yan Family Instructions".
There are * * * 20 articles in "Family Instructions of Yan Family", and a thin book is filled with the exhortations and expectations of a family elder who has experienced many vicissitudes. Except that the first preface explains the purpose of the book, and the last one exhorts the afterlife and tells about the improper worship of Buddhism, the other seventeen articles respectively describe his family education views (including teaching children, brothers, marrying late and managing the family), mainly emphasizing the importance of educating children, respecting the old and loving the young, and family harmony. ), the concept of moral education and intellectual education (including four articles on wind exercise, wood constitution, cotton study and articles), tells how to cultivate and bring up children to become talents. ), the concept of ideological and methodological education (mainly including "fame and reality", "involvement in matters", "saving trouble" and "stopping the foot"), telling the ideological and working methods of cultivating children to observe, understand and deal with problems. ), the concept of health education (including "commanding soldiers" and "health", emphasizes that children should not rely on showing off their courage and war to achieve greatness, but should first save their own lives and take care of their body and mind in order to maintain health and prolong their life. ), the concept of knowledge education (mainly including documentary evidence, phonology and miscellaneous arts), mainly introduces the knowledge of textual research of ancient books, phonology and various miscellaneous arts involved by scholars. )。
The most prominent view of family education in Yan Family Instructions is other views, which is also inseparable from the author's social background at that time. First, due to the decline of social official education at that time, family education became the basis of aristocratic education. Secondly, Yan Zhitui, as a feudal parent at that time, had the right to control the family and could carry out his educational thoughts in the family. The last and most important reason is that, for the sake of family interests, family education must be relied on to keep the Yan family from declining in the political changes.
In family education, Yan Zhitui advocated early education for children, and he also first put forward the idea of prenatal education. In family training, the author points out that Yan Zhitui thinks that the earlier prenatal education, the better. "The holy king has a method of prenatal education: pregnant children leave his palace in March, and their eyes are not evil, their ears are not false, and they are happy to taste the ceremony." That is to say, the ancient emperors paid attention to prenatal education: pregnant women should move to other rooms after three months of pregnancy, and their eyes and ears should be clean, and they should not look at evil things or listen to improper voices. Instead, we should cultivate their temperament with beautiful music and dominate their words and deeds with etiquette, which is of great benefit to the growth and development of the fetus.
Even if ordinary families can't carry out prenatal education like the ancient holy king's family, they should try their best to teach early. "When it comes to infants, knowing people's colors and emotions, we should teach them, let them do what they want, and prevent them from doing what they want" means that ordinary people should start educating children when they can perceive emotions and communicate with others, and tell them what they can and can't do, and carry out the most preliminary code of conduct. After a few years, children will become more and more sensible. Wait until "compared to a few years old, you can save punishment."
Yan Zhitui advocates early childhood education because the author thinks that "life is young and the spirit is patented. When you grow up, you should think about it, relax, do early childhood education, and don't miss the opportunity" (children are simple-minded, single-minded, sensitive and easy to educate when they are young. When I grow up, my thoughts are complicated and my feelings are dull, so it is difficult to educate. Secondly, the author also thinks that children have great plasticity in early childhood. "People are young and uncertain." He believes that the habits formed by early education and training are as stable and automatic as being born, without any effort. However, if children are not taught early education, they will be "arrogant and slow, stop copying, be killed without prestige, increase their anger, catch up with growth, and eventually lose their virtue." That is to say, if we don't pay close attention to early education and wait until children develop bad habits before correcting them, it will be useless to kill them, and it will also deepen their rebellious psychology, which will be difficult to correct all their lives and eventually become immoral and useless people.
On the content of early childhood education, Yan Zhitui advocates language education and ethics education centered on filial piety, and children yearn for and establish noble life education.
Language education. Yan Zhitui believes that it is the responsibility of parents to educate their children to learn the correct language. Language is a tool of social communication, and we should pay attention to common language in this kind of language learning. "My child, although in childhood, gradually overseers are later, it's a deal, think you are guilty. The cloud is a commodity, and you can't be famous if you don't test it. " That is to say, one thing, one thing, do not check, dare not call casually, for fear that mistakes will leave a bad influence on children.
Interpersonal moral education with filial piety as the core. For children's moral education, Yan Zhitui pays attention to the exemplary role of elders. This effect he called "weathering". "Those weather-beaten people, those from top to bottom, also go from the former to the latter." This is natural imitation and no compulsory education is needed.
The children are determined to set up lofty ideals in life. As a big family of aristocratic society, Yan Zhitui attached great importance to the education of aristocratic children. He believes that the education of aristocratic children should make them determined to realize Yao Shun's political ideals and inherit the family business of the times, and should not make them attach themselves to powerful and humble officials as their life goals. When talking about this, he quoted a story from the Qi Dynasty: "I have a son who is seventeen years old and quite knowledgeable. Teaching him Xianbei language and pipa, and asking him to know a little, so as to serve the officials, are all loved and important. " In his view, it is contemptible to educate children in this way. Yan Zhitui was extremely indignant about this, and strictly forbade his children to be ineffective.
The influence of parents is very important in family education. In family training, Yan Zhitui pointed out what parents should do to set a good example for their children.
First: parents should be dignified and kind. When educating their children, parents should not only have dignity, but also have love, not neglect things, and combine strictness with kindness. "If parents are dignified and kind, their children will be timid and filial." In other words, parents are strict and kind to their children, and children will be cautious in their words and deeds and listen to their parents' repentance. And both strictness and love should be moderate. "The strictness of father and son cannot be abolished; The love of flesh and blood cannot be simple. " The relationship between parents and children should be serious, and they should not be too close to lose their solemn attitude; Parents should be kind to their own flesh and blood, and don't be unreasonable and demanding of their children. If proper limit is not good, he will be "simple and filial, and he will be negligent." Make trouble for children without reason, abuse patriarchy, children will not be filial; If you spoil them too much, your children won't listen.
Second: Parents should not spoil their children. Yan Zhitui advocates being strict with children and not spoiling them. Because many parents in the world only know "love" for their children, but don't know "teaching", so that children can do whatever they want. Some people should even be criticized and rewarded; Some people should be reprimanded but appreciate it. In this way, right and wrong are reversed. Over time, children will mistakenly think that they are right, that they are good, and that mistakes are reasonable and legal, which is difficult to correct. Here, Yan Zhitui cited two positive and negative examples. When Wang Zengbian grew up, he was a "general with 3,000 men in his forties". His mother saw that he was wrong in performing his official duties, and he was "less unsatisfactory and still swearing." Therefore, Wang Zengbian's "ability to make meritorious service" has a lot to do with it. The negative example is "there is a bachelor who is smart and talented, loved by his father and obsessed with Taoism: in a word, he is partial to Taoism all the year round, and everything he does is wrong, hiding ornaments and hoping to change himself." The bachelor's father dotes on his son very much. His son is right. He follows wherever he goes and talks big all year round. When his son does something wrong, he will try his best to whitewash it, hide it for his son, and expect him to change it secretly. Because of his father's connivance, his son developed the habit of arrogance and irrationality. When I grew up to be an official, I hurt people by exporting, and I was framed by others.
Third, parents set an example and establish a good family style. It is very important for parents and brothers to set an example in family life. "Weathering, from top to bottom, from the first to the second. It is because the father is unkind, the son is unfilial, and the brother is not rude. " Fathers are filial, brothers talk about friendship, and brothers know respect, otherwise fish begins to stink at the head.
Fourth, parents of families with many children should be treated equally, and they should not be partial to one another. In a family with many children, parents should treat their children equally "A virtuous man can enjoy love, and a stubborn man should also have pity. Favorite people, although they want to be thick, are even more unfortunate. " Parents should naturally appreciate and care for virtuous and intelligent children, and should also sympathize with and pity children who are not so virtuous and intelligent. Some parents prefer a well-meaning child, but they hurt him. People who are doted on by their parents often form the problem of being arrogant and indulgent, because preference has exceeded the beneficial limit and is an unconscious doting and doting. Moreover, parents' preference for children will artificially cause contradictions and estrangements between children.
Fifth, parents should attach importance to environmental education. In the process of children's growth, family members and members outside the family have a great influence on children. "When people are young, they are noncommittal. Like money, they smoke, talk and laugh, and are not interested in learning. It is subtle and natural." When people are young, their thoughts are not yet stereotyped and have strong plasticity. The surrounding environment has a great influence on them, but over time, they will become natural. ) "It is to live with the mountains, such as entering the room of Lan Zhi, and it will last for a long time; Living with the wicked, like abalone, stinks for a long time. " Getting along with people with good virtue is like entering a garden, and you will form good virtue yourself; If you get along with people with bad morals, you want to live in a shop with salted fish, and your morals will deteriorate. Therefore, Yan Zhitui asked parents to educate their children to "be careful how to make friends", "make friends with people who woo themselves" and "people who have no friends are not as good as themselves".
"Family Instructions" is still an example for us to learn, and it still has important practical significance for children's family education now. Parents are the children's first teachers, the children's first role models to learn and imitate, and they play a vital role in their lives. At present, in family education, parents spoil their children too much. When children reach school age, they only pay attention to their academic performance, but pay little attention to their spiritual growth and moral demonstration education. Family training is a good warning example for the phenomenon that parents only pay attention to the score education of their children's schools and ignore the family moral education of their children. Most parents have trained their children into modern little emperors and princesses, and they spoil their children too much. "In a word, they are biased all the year round, don't do whatever they want, hide ornaments and hope to change themselves." Children who grow up in this environment can't stand setbacks and won't get along with others. If they say something wrong, they will be angry. This will only water the flowers in the greenhouse, which is not conducive to a foothold in a highly competitive society.