There is a saying in the circle of mothers that "having a baby is like drawing a blind box". You never know whether the baby is coming to "pay off debts" or "collect debts". There are always about 15% of the newborns born every year. They are full of changing and unchanging conditions, and they are called "high-demand babies". Although they are young, they have created many problems for their parents in feeding, sleeping and early education.
It's a pity that the daughter is one of the few 15% babies with high demand. When my daughter was born, she showed her unique voice. When the nurse bathed the baby, the other babies were fine and cried for a minute at most, while my daughter cried from beginning to end and gasped for half an hour after coming back.
Many people told me that Yuezi is sleeping, which is very easy to take. On the contrary, my daughter wakes up at least five or six times a night. I really envy those children who have slept for a month. Later, my daughter began to sleep during the day and didn't sleep at night, and played the game of boiling eagle with us. Every night, my husband and I kept walking around holding her, but I still couldn't hear the lullaby in my mouth. As long as we stop to have a rest, she cries in protest. I finally fell asleep. I just put her down and cried before I could take my hand out.
When I was in kindergarten, the child didn't adapt to the new environment in kindergarten. It was normal to cry for a while, but my daughter cried for three months. Now I just found out that my daughter wanted to grow on me from birth to kindergarten and never separated for a moment. Whether it's washing, cooking or even going to the toilet, I have to follow you. I either feel that I don't want her, or I feel that I have lost her and I am sad to cry.
My daughter became crying, irritable and clingy. My family said that she was my accustomed child, which left me speechless. How do they know that this demanding baby's mood is like a bomb, which will be ignited at any time.
William Sears, an American parenting expert, pointed out that one in five newborns is a high-demand baby. He also pointed out nine characteristics of high-demand babies to facilitate parents to identify their babies.
1, there are many demands, which are difficult to satisfy.
2, the kind that loves to cry and is not good.
The baby is still young, and crying is common. However, demanding babies tend to cry more strongly and for longer. Family members other than parents will cry and struggle when they touch him and hug him. Sometimes, when the baby is hungry, just because you are a few minutes late for feeding, you will cry.
Although older children can control their emotions, they still cry because of a little thing.
3, sensitive, very sensitive
Another feature of high-demand babies is that they are sensitive and will show various maladjustments to small changes around them. When these babies arrive in a new environment and are slightly stimulated, they often cry next to their parents. Some babies even refuse to drink milk when changing milk powder or bottles.
4. Can't self-adjust.
A demanding baby can't adjust his mood, and comfort towels and pacifiers can't help. All they need is their parents.
5, separation anxiety, anxiety if you can't see it.
High-demand babies are very sticky and vigilant, and they can't live without their parents for a while. As long as they can't see their parents, they will feel uneasy and start crying.
6. The way to appease is not fixed.
Most of the high-demand babies' soothing methods are not fixed. A soothing method works today, but it won't work tomorrow. Therefore, parents should carefully observe and adjust in time.
7. Lively and active
Many parents mistakenly think that babies with high demand will be quiet because of their personality. In fact, high-demand babies don't like being bound, and they are often energetic and lively.
9. Don't sleep
I don't know if you have noticed that babies with high demand are generally poor households. Not only do they have trouble sleeping at night, they don't have to take a nap during the day, but they can also haunt you energetically all day.
Having a baby in great demand at home has left many parents at a loss. Should we meet children's needs or make a strict training plan? The following are some of my actual combat experiences, which I hope will help you.
1, find out the requirements.
For babies, even if they can't speak, body language will reveal their needs. As long as parents carefully observe, they can make accurate judgments in advance and meet their children's needs in time.
Step 2 make rules
When the child is about 2 years old, it is impossible for parents to meet all the needs of the child unconditionally. Parents should make rules for their children, let them know what they can and can't do, and know what the parents' bottom line is.
For example, parents can stipulate the time for children to sleep and eat. Once it's bedtime, the mother will turn off the TV and lights and let the child sleep, even if the child cries.
Step 3 tell what might happen
Children with high demand often feel insecure, mainly because of fear of the unknown. Parents can tell their children what will happen in advance, so that children can be psychologically prepared in advance. For example, before a mother goes to the toilet, she can tell her children, "Mom will come back after you watch this cartoon."
When trust is established between parents and children, this method can make it easier for mothers to take care of their children.
Step 4 understand
When a child loses his temper, parents should tell the child, "Mom knows you are sad, and we can find a way together." This will not only let the children know that losing their temper can't solve the problem, but also let them know that mom and dad will always be with me, reducing their anxiety.
Step 5 encourage
When a child completes something according to the regulations, such as eating or sleeping on time, parents should give encouragement in time to help the child build confidence.
6. No label
Parents should not belittle their children, whether they are ordinary children or demanding babies, and label them as "bad children" at will, which will greatly weaken their self-confidence and reduce their trust in their parents. Parents should encourage more and belittle less, which is a good way to educate their children.