Five-year-old Qi Fanfan needs to take five classes every week. In addition to English, sketching, fencing and abacus, his mother gave him a programming class this month, because a classmate of Qi Fanfan's parents told his mother that since the child took the programming class, his brain has become more flexible, and the little game he played the other day made the whole family enjoy it.
Qi Fanfan's mother knows that her son has a heavy academic task, but all the other children are studying. If his son doesn't learn, he will lose a skill in the future competition. So, bite the bullet and sign up, but fortunately, you can teach online and don't have to toss on the road.
With the concept of "don't let children lose at the starting line" deeply rooted in people's hearts, many parents' sense of identity has only increased. Why do parents worry that their children will lose at the starting line?
◆ Intensified competition
With the rapid development of society, some occupations began to die out, and some new occupations gradually appeared. The field of pure manual labor has also integrated more and more mechanization and intelligence. How to make children adapt to the future social survival is the top priority for parents now. Therefore, the resulting panic is understandable.
The cultivation and shaping of skills will create more possibilities for children's future. I urge parents to give their children more training and training within their power. However, everything has two sides, which will also cause hidden dangers to children's psychological development.
◆ Potential comparison ◆
Some parents consciously compare themselves when shaping their children. Whenever their children are praised in a competition or at a certain time, parents feel that there is light on their faces, so they pay great attention to their children's performance among their peers. This kind of subconscious makes parents report many inappropriate, unnecessary and unscientific interest courses to their children, just to gain the attention of others.
If the child doesn't win at the starting line, will he fall behind others in his later life?
◆ Ability is greater than hands-on ability ◆
Yuxi is a little star in the whole third grade. She is not a bully or an all-rounder Because of the poor conditions at home, she has no skills to show. Yuxi is so popular because she is enthusiastic, sincere and natural, and good at discovering.
Yuxi gets along well with her classmates, something that others can't solve. Everyone is willing to give her "face" when she comes to Yuxi. Although her study is not the best, Yuxi's social coordination ability is absolutely indispensable, from details to grade activities. So she became the monitor, and any activity in the class can find corresponding countermeasures and suitable candidates.
Yuxi's ability should not be underestimated. She plans, discovers and mobilizes as a whole, and her ability is greater than her ability, which makes her campus life colorful. In the society that children will face in the future, how to make the best use of resources is the foundation. The cultivation of this ability is more important than the shaping of a certain specialty.
◆ Experience is greater than theory ◆
People's sociality determines that people need to communicate with others, participate in social practice and integrate into the social system. In the process of interacting with people, life experience is greater than theory. A person's energy is limited. When children devote themselves to various skills training, they lack understanding of life.
Exercise independence from labor and discover beauty from observation. These gifts brought to us by life can't be felt in an immersive class. In order to let children win at the starting line and lose the opportunity to enjoy nature and have fun, the final knowledge system has lost the true face of life, which is not worth the candle. Then, let the children win at the starting line, will they be able to run very far?
Can't really digest and understand ◆
Cramming education's consequence is that he can't really digest and understand, and he can't internalize it into practice.
A person's growth acts on external forces, but it also needs internal development. People's cognitive development is restricted by multiple factors such as objective environment, knowledge structure and experience accumulation. Teaching children too much knowledge can only make them recite according to the subject, but not extrapolate. Creative development is only imitation and reproduction.
? Early intervention leads to rebellion
Letting children learn too much and too early may also have a bad result-they will have rebellious psychology in the future and will be resistant and tired of learning.
Since ancient times, China's parents' complex is to hope that their children can get ahead in the future and return home dressed in gold. Parents' expectations for their children's success and their daughters' success, if they force their children to learn this and that without considering their hobbies and talents, will make them feel bored and contradictory.
However, today's children in China are not easily burdened with schoolwork from the beginning of primary school. So, what can parents do to make their children "successful" without putting too much pressure on their children?
◆ Follow the trend ◆
Montessori, a child educator, said in Children's Spontaneous Growth that we should pay moderate attention to children and should not "force them to learn" at will.
When a child is interested in a certain aspect, parents can follow the trend, so that the child's initial interest changes from concern to intensity, from generalities to in-depth research, and thus develops into a skill.
Do what you can.
In the cultivation and shaping of children, parents must do what they can.
Parents here are not the main body, but the children are, so it is based on the children's ability, not that parents can afford tuition and have enough time, so they are desperate to let their children strengthen training.
With the change of parenting concept, various practical training has been started in children's early childhood, and some skills training can bring benign help to children, such as physical training, including football lessons and basketball lessons. Such as intensive training, including hand-made and jigsaw puzzles; There are also skills training that make children more stressed after extra homework, such as programming classes.
Educator Xiong Bingqi once compared "advanced" education with the example of watching movies: people in the first row stood and watched, which led to the second and third rows ... and finally stood up to watch movies, but ignored the basic rules of sitting while watching movies.
It is human nature that parents want to give their children better educational conditions within their power, but they must not be counterproductive, making these interest guidance and skill training a nightmare for children.
Today's topic: Does your family have a "baby"? What philosophy do you base on to raise your baby? Do you think the earlier you start, the more you can get ahead? Leave a message for us to discuss.
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I am Luo Yu's mother, the mother of a three-year-old baby, and a professional baby nurse.
With the help of baby growth stories, share some parenting knowledge with you to help you become better parents.