My friend talked about my senior sister Xiao L in college, and her tone was full of confusion.
L is very beautiful. She used to be very sociable and thoughtful, and she was the man of the hour in the student union. She likes practical jokes and has all kinds of ghost horse spirit ideas, which can make every activity successful.
L's husband, Xiao P, played a band to organize a motorcade in college, and went cycling in Tibet on the eve of graduation, with a large group of like-minded friends.
But these two people who seem to be full of endless love for life are caught in the dilemma of marriage. I once complained:
Since they got married, they have watched no more than two movies every year. Every time I take my child to the early education center, my husband doesn't care.
And little p? Busy with work and play, his family became a burden to him. He said he was tired.
How sad, the happiness of two people together can't even compare with the comfort of one person.
In fact, we all know that marriage is not necessarily a safe haven, but also a crematorium.
Getting married means wholeheartedly accepting another person into your life. Not everyone can cope with the transition from egoism to inclusive growth.
No one will die without getting married. But if you get married, you may be depressed to death.
Imagine this scene:
After a busy day, you come home exhausted, only to find your husband smoking and playing games on the sofa, while the dishes in the sink are in a mess;
You work hard for your children's study, and the cram school, school and home are all turning at three o'clock, making you flustered; You blame your husband for not being considerate, but the other party thinks you make a mountain out of a molehill;
……
In real life, there are too many such scenes. Over and over again, the disgruntled woman finally became a "yellow-faced woman" and the dusty man became a "middle-aged greasy man".
I hate each other. What's the use of such a besieged marriage?
When two people are together, they can't hold their heads to keep warm and replenish each other. Instead, he is bound by the shackles of life and becomes like a dying ember. This is unfortunate and useless.
About marriage, someone joked:
If you don't work hard to earn money, you will get married in the future!
Too many people no longer look forward to marriage, because we thought we could live better after marriage, but later we found that a low-quality marriage is just a chicken feather, and being alone is more comfortable than being together.
If marriage cannot make me better, why should I be better?
For modern people, marriage is no longer a necessity.
In a patriarchal society, the essence of marriage system is an economic contract. Marriage represents sexual expression, contractual division of labor, inheritance of property and family.
However, for us, the power behind these marriages is very weak.
Even the new marriage law says that even if the house bought before marriage is upgraded, it has nothing to do with the spouse.
The ancients got married to reproduce, but now, there are more and more dinks. Why do you need a marriage certificate to maintain your sexual life?
Women no longer need to be attached to men. After entering the labor market, their income even exceeds that of men.
Besides necessities, marriage is to increase the fun of life and help us become better ourselves.
In the American movie "She", when Samantha asked T-Bag what it was like to get married, T-Bag replied: "Grow up together, but try to move in the same direction; Change together, but try not to make each other afraid. Love is a matter for two people, and marriage is also a matter for two people. "
In Dear Inn, when Kelly mentioned his wife Liu Tao, her face was full of happiness and gratitude. He said, "Yes, remould me and let me know that life is not just in vain."
Real marriage should be like this, love each other, trust each other, make progress and grow together, and become a better self together.
Why are more and more young people unwilling to get married?
Why is the divorce rate of modern people getting higher and higher?
Because we are eager for marriage, but we are not afraid of being single.
Because we know what the best marriage is, we can't accept inferior company.
If marriage cannot make me better, why should I be better?